The Outlaw Strikes Back

My MIL is in the middle of everything. I refer to her as my outlaw. I can't, for the life of me, figure out how she is put together. Example. I was reading Dear Ann Landers column in the paper. The more that I kept reading the more that I could see my household (pizza box). It talked about distinct examples of what I the wife don't do and how bad it is for her son and grandchild, (Mind you there are two children), one she only acknowleges. When I showed my husband he just laughed and said dont worry about it. When I cofronted the mean old OUTLAW she said: Yes, and hopefully your not mad, but I thought this would be a good way to communicate with you!... Yeah Right!!! LOL...
Ann Landers told her in this column, that she need not put the white gloves on when she walks into my house, however she should act like a guest.. I have still been waiting for her to act like something other than a thorn in myside, we are now 12 years after that article and let me tell you, that she hasn't changed she still putting me down, giving my children emense amounts of attitude, and says she does everything. My dear husband, doesn't know how to handle it, and says that he is in the middle. Ha Ha, if she could sleep in the middle of our bed she would.. I just can't ever lay it on the line and call it as I see it, when it comes to her. The verbal games are never endling. My husband gave her a key to our house, which now has become a grocery store for her, let's go shopping...
Well, if anyone out there can relate let me know.
cflower cflower
31-35, F
4 Responses May 17, 2007

i'm sure your husband feels like he's in the middle. he is! however!!! if he doesn't want to stand up to his mother, he should care about your feelings regarding her ... at least to some degree. if it were me ... i believe i'd sit him down and say to him something like this, "you're aware of how i feel about your mom. you're aware of the things that have happened over 12 years. we certainly don't need to rehash it all. i realize that you might not find any of these instances to be of much consequence or to be a very big deal. i wish i felt the same. unfortunately, after years of effort, i am still unable to help feeling the way i do. i need to have a place that is all my own where i can retreat and go for safety. our home is that place. if i can't escape from her here then where do i go? please tell me how you want to go about getting our house keys back from her or would you rather change the locks?" ... don't ask him 'if' he will do it, ask him HOW HE *IS GOING TO* DO IT! :-D hehe i wish you the best with this.

That is awful that she would do that to you! Putting that in a public forum is embarassing and rude. (Don't mention here, we're all truly anonymous). Do you know what my MIL did to me last night? She had the audacity to call me to try to talk me into moving my fiance and I into her home after she called my voicemail less than a week ago and threatened me! You'll get to read the full story in a post.

Hmmmm, she sounds like a NIGHTMARE!! Just a few thoughts, your husband is right, he is in the middle, BUT he shouldn't be. According to Dr. Phil, it is up to him to deal with his parents and up to you to deal with your parents, so gently tell him to *MAN UP* ;) As for that spectacular article, IF you ever have time, write it up here and let us ALL update the outdated piece of non-sense, I believe i read the article you are speaking of, and i remembering laughing my guts out over the stupid thing. We could re-write it, than for the next holiday, wrap it up in a box as her present!! hehe. And as for the stupid keys your hubbie gave her, tell him if he won't deal with her, than your ONLY choice is to change the locks, so you know you can't be INVADED by the alien!! Well I doubt ANY of this helps BUT I would LOVE to get my hands on that archaic article and re-write it!! Hang in there, it gets worse, ooooops i mean better ;)

OMG you poor thing. I would do anything I could to get that key away from her. Beg, cheat, lie or steal. Just do it! lol! <br />
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She sounds like a nightmare, as I'm sure she is. <br />
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When is your husband going to deal with her? It's his job to tell her to butt out and back off. He needs to stand up and come to your rescue. <br />
Can you move? Change the locks? Get an unlisted phone number? All of the above? I mean sooner or later she has to get the hint. <br />
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She needs to respect your boundaries, which obviously she doesn't even know exist.<br />
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Good luck and all the best to you.