Brainless Mutant MIL

Well... where to start. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now we are getting married next fall. The day I even KNEW about his mothers existence it was already on. I was talking on the phone with him and she spouted off in a drunken manner about how she hates everyone he likes. Whatever, I didn't pay attention to it. He told me she was crazy and I will never meet her. I just assumed he was exaggerating. I was seriously mistaken.
Time goes by I meet her, she seems mildly okay. She was talking about how much better I was compared to his other girlfriends. Which I took as a compliment at the time. (BTW he moved out of his sisters house, which his mother had taken over, to live with me as soon as we got together) Well then all the sudden she keeps calling and practically begging him to go see them and stuff. So Im like of course lets go see your family. Well we would go, and she would try to make it some sort of drinking extravaganza, as if, I quietly thought to myself, she was trying to get it to where he couldn't drive home... No no surely not. Whatever, I ignore it continue to try to get along with her. So we go see her and then she calls again... 2 days later, 3 days later, a week later... somewhere in there like she hadn't seen him in years (this is the same situation on ATLEAST 6 different occasions), begging and pleading and asking again for us to come over. At this point Im like oookay Ol' bess is a might bit clingy. So I naturally get tired of her coooonstant calling and begging him to pretty much go party with her.... >_> ... It seemed dysfunctional, I can see hanging out with your mother every once in a while but this was getting ridiculous (he gets highly annoyed with her too just because he hasnt come up yet doesnt mean hes all RAWR IMA MAMMAS BOY). And this is not even the tip of the ice berg.
I stop wanting to go over there. I was tired of her trying to bring him down. "Oh you dont need to be doing that job I thought you wanted to be a rockstar",...... as hes mentioning a possible promotion, and doing very well for himself. She doesnt even have a job. She hasn't for a long time. Everytime someone mentions her getting a job she goes on about how the white man is trying to bring her down and starts yammering about history and indian tribes (even though she looks... pretty white) So where was I, oh yes I didnt want to go over there anymore. It was always all about her never had a positive thing to say. All the sudden... Im a controlling ***** annnd all I do is controll her son and Im crazy etc etc etc etc.... <_< Okay so shes crazy, i'm starting to get the picture. I get pregnant, this lady tried to FIGHT me while I'm 3 months pregnant because SHE made him mad for running her mouth. So it randomly became my fault we tried to leave and I shut the door she barreled out of it like a crazed badger telling me I better not slam the door in her face... which I didn't...He grabbed her and pretty much tossed her across the porch for coming at me. Things simmer down then she's trying to get us to name it OUTRAGEOUS names and telling us to give the baby a fighting chance and just name it retarded things like August Moon....... Which is a chinese buffet....... Baby is born. At this point I didnt even want her there but I wanted to be fair. Theres alot of stuff Im not even mentioning or else you would be reading all day. She shows up tries pushing names blah blah blah... They leave. It was so bad. A month later we take the baby to see them. All is well... Then it starts up again... she calls two weeks later saying they havent seen the baby in a month and we need to stop being mean towards her and I need to stop being controlling....... e_e ......Ive learned to phase her out... Then I read a random message she sent him calling me all sorts of names for no reason. Thats when I let loose. I cussed her every which way but up. We argued for a long while I countered every ridiculous thing she said then she started calling me ugly (which Im not lol) saying I have low self esteem and shes not buying it. All his other girlfriends were sooo much more attractive. Just crazy last ditch things a kid would do, trying to really amp me up and get under my skin. So since then I have banned her from my house and my baby until she can learn to be civil. She hasn't seen the baby in... 3 months I believe and she stilllll doesnt COMPREHEND it. His sister told me not to long ago his other sister and his mom were going to stop by and see the baby and I was like... uh noo shes not. Well she found out about it (I told her personally to stay away from me and my baby until she can grow up) and flipped out. Calling him demanding to know why she couldnt come over, calling me a *****, saying that she doesnt understand how he allows me to play these games (I dont see how its a game at all), Spouting that hes not even her son anymore hes a piece of **** etc... just really horrible things.... Then she will text him a few days later like nothing ever happened.... WHAT am I supposed to do about this lady... She is bat house crazy... Theres soooo sooooo much more than this but I will leave it at what I have since its already pretty long and... ask opinions I suppose. Thanks! ^_^

PS this is a smaaalllll exceprt of when she found out I was going to nursing school (which I paid for myself) to kind of give you an idea... He was behind me watching her ramble the whooole time

"My son wanted to go to College also, will he be able to do so while putting your hateful *** through school?
You are full of guilt ****, ******* you are. I am not buying your low self-esteem.
 think my son could have did anything for himself and still can besides support your sorry ***, no boobs, ugly beyond extreme. You started this fight, I am going to finish it. You are pointless, blankless, clueless, and totally just a very ugly plain assholy *****. So Ugly you are, his other girlfriends were much more beautiful than you too. **** You!
God Damn you should just kill yourself, because why? Entrapment in the first degree, you can't do anything for yourself but get a man to make you better than you are and your are just really a very sorry ******* *****!"

   Soo lol yeaaah... outrageous stuff like that over nothing. It would be nice if we could just get along atleast for his sake (Ive tried many times). I dont get these crazy episodes that make no sense, maybe if they were warranted or if I actually did something wrong I'd understand a little more. I have blown up on her once before for running her mouth and apologized for it because I didnt want there to be a riff there but it just keeeps on getting worse and worse . Im at a loss. Its like dealing with a child throwing a tantrum allll the time. 
How does someone handle a situation like this appropriatly???? I mean honestly... I really want to just beat the ignorant crap out of her but I dont think that would do any good for anyone >_<
Chondria Chondria
22-25, F
1 Response Dec 9, 2012

Soooo ....Detox and AA come to mind...but who am I to treach to the choir.My MIL has been a carzy drunk like that for 55 years.I've had the pleasure of enjoying this behavior since 1979.

BUT...the wrom turns as they say.My MIL is now 80 and she has Dementai mild and Altimers mild.My wife and I finally started working like a team setting boundries.

Your doing an EXCELLENT JOB with her.You keep her away from the baby till she is sober and sane.Tell her it's detox and AA or no baby including yourself.

Check with Detox experts and you will see that years of booze can make you crazy OR COVER UP A MENTAL ILLNESS THAT NEEDS MEDICATION.

Good luck I did my time and my old bat is dying and won't stop boozing till I soon put her in detox before a nursing home.