MOTHER In Law Is Crazy

EVERYONE HAS THE SAME OLD STORY ABOUT THERE MOTHER IN LAWS. WELL I AM HERE TO SHARE MINE.SHE HAS NEVER ACTED LIKE SHE LIKES ME AND ON MY WEDDING DAY IT WAS PROVEN TO ME. MY THEN SOON TO BE MOTHER IN LAW HELPED PLANNED OUR WEDDING(MORE LIKE TOOK OVER) IT TOOK US A WHOLE YEAR PICKING OUT WHAT SHE LIKED CAUSE WHAT I WANTED JUST WOULD NOT LOOK GOOD SO SHE SAYS. A COUPLE OF DAYS BEFORE I TOOK OFF WORK TO HELP SET EVERYTHING UP WITH HER AND HIS SISTER, WE WORKED SO HARD ON EVERYTHING. WELL THE DAY OF THE WEDDING CAME ALONG AND THAT MORNING ABOUT 7AM WE GOT A PHONE FROM MY HUSBANDS DAD SAYING HIS MOM IS IN THE HOSPITAL AND WE NEED TO COME QUICK . WE DROVE DOWN THERE TO FIND OUT THAT SHE HAD A SMALL UPSET STOMACH , THE DOC. GAVE HER SOME MEDS AND SAID THAT SHE SHOULD BE FINE IN A COUPLE OF HOURS. OF COURSE SHE TURNED IT INTO A DRAMA DEAL , SHE DIDNT EVEN COME TO THE WEDDING SAYING SHE IS TO WEAK TO MAKE IT. NOW THAT THE WEDDING VIDEO AND PHOTOS ARE BACK SHE WONT EVEN LOOK AT THEM SAYING THAT THEY ARE TOO PAINFUL TO WATCH. AND SINCE THEN SHE HAS MADE COMMENTS ABOUT ME AND HOW I JUST DONT FIT INTO THE FAMILY . IF ANYONE HAS ADVICE FOR ME PLEASE HELP !! I DONT KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH HER. I HAVE TRIED TO BE FREINDS WITH HER AND TALK IT OUT BUT IT NEVERS HELPS.
BLUEGREENCHICK07 BLUEGREENCHICK07
22-25, F
6 Responses May 22, 2007

I know this was some time ago, but I wondered bluegreenchick07 how things are today as a married couple and how has the MIL been? Would like an update, hoping all is well to present time.

My inlaws have this unfounded self-image of superiority. They think they are the finest and most normal family there is, and that everyone else is dysfunctional trash. I have seen though it all along. My brother-in-law is the worst. He has crucified his wife's family from day one and has never given any of them a chance to hope for. He makes it impossible for them to have any kind of fun as a family, and demeans them at every turn. He has also alluded to the fact that I have made strides by marrying into their family. I have stood my ground on this and made it clear that he is full of S**T. His eldest daughter became pregnant out of wedlock and had a baby recently, and that has turned everything upside down, because they felt they may look bad. But what is making them look bad is how they dealt with the situation - basically trying to force their daughter to give up the child by threatening to abandon her to the streets. As well, the facts of her life have started to emerge, and for all these years we heard she was a troubled child or caused problems for her parents, we find now she has been verbally abused all of her life, by her parents. So instead of trying to redeem themselves now by turning things around, they are lashing out at everyone who has tried to help their daughter. My mother in law, cannot deal with the slightest hint of imperfection, and will do anything to upstage you. She also thought her grand-daughter should give up her child, and said exactly that, then called back a week later after the decision was made not to give the baby up, to take it all back by saying she hoped we never thought that was what she meant. How do you misinterpret "She should give the baby up." It sickens me and at this point, I am unforgiving. I haven't banished anyone from my home, but I don't see us all going forward as a big happy family either. I hate bullies and I hate hypocrits. Plain and simple. I do not want my children to grow up thinking that their way is even remotely kosher.

What can I say..............I was in that situation too, but I had a good talk to my partner, after DEAR MIL tried to destroy our relationship.<br />
Most men 99% of them, know full well what there mothers are doing, but dont want to be in the middle of it.<br />
<br />
Well I took my situation and decided, yes she is your Mum not mine, you can talk to her when ever you want .......on the phone.<br />
She is not to come to my house, and this I told her.<br />
Never and I mean never again will she entire my home.<br />
<br />
@ BLUEGREENCHICK07<br />
<br />
It sounds like your Mother in Law has the emotional abuse down pat............!<br />
The woman needs a medal for being an abuser, <br />
You say your husband agrees that this is how his mother is, well then just put your foot down and tell her that she is no longer welcome at your house.<br />
this is your life your living, she has her own to live and she is not doing a good job of it.<br />
<br />
If the entire family turns on you, then so be it, those are the consequences of laying the law down.<br />
Your husband can go see her when ever he wants but you are not going with and do send your child there either.<br />
If she should call or come see you and ask why, well then honesty is the best policy.<br />
<br />
I think if you go read my post you will see what I have done with my MIL, and you know what it does not bother me, I am happy with my decision and will not give her another chance at all. <br />
<br />
Once bitten twice shy!

i hate to disagree, bluegreen, but NOT everyone's story is the same. my first question about your situation is: what's your husband got to say about all this? surely he was hurt when his mother didn't come to his wedding after realizing it had nothing to do with her stomach (pics/video she refuses due to it being too painful) ... or is he in denial? had he heard her say any of her sniping comments to you? what did he think of the situation? did he say anything to her? have you spoken to him about any of this and how did he react? ... before anyone can give advice of any value on this situation we need to know where your husband stands... in the meantime i hope she comes to her senses ... good luck

WOW! I can't believe I am in the same boat here! I had a great relationship with my mother-in-law when I first met my husband....when I first got married - it all started when I had my first and then second son. It has gone absolutely nuts! They were the first grandchildren - but on both sides (mine too). It started when she beat my husband to the punch and announced the birth of my first son to the families at the hospital....it continued on when she started "mistakenly" calling herself "mommy" to wanting to be with us all the time. We have limited that to once or twice a month. She has watched them at various times and didn't feed them all day because she thought they weren't hungry (this happened not once, but more than that)....She constantly pressures us to do things, then plans many things to do for the one day. She doesn't respect boundaries we try to set and continues to "offer" things for all of us to do. She was expecting to be there for all "firsts" including steps, words, and the like and when she does see them (which we do not believe is an unreasonable amount of time), she claims they don't know her or recognize her. My husband and I are together on this, but it is a constant barrage of offers, needs, desires on her part that we constantly combat. That, plus occassionally she is inappropriate with her comments (such as my youngest is "Sexy" at 18 months or "I like little boys" that makes me think she has other intentions). We think she wants a second chance at motherhood and have no idea how to proceed. Any thoughts? We have tried everything possible - but she always has an answer.

my mother in law wore black to my wedding, she resently told me she hated me, could never love me, that i was a horrible mother and wife. none of which is true except maybe about her. i'm running out of options i love my husband but she's triing to pin him aginst me and i think its finnly working he's starting to hate me. when we married he was so diffrent then we moved into the same town as she. she controls everything about him. i can't trust him not to run off with our daughter. i;m scared but don't want to leave him. till death do us part. she's going to kill our love.