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Controlling Mother In Law Using "the Will"

My mother-in-law might look like a sweet 92 year old. But she is evil to the core. She hates me, but I am not alone, she hates about 95% of people. That includes the lady that works in the pharmacy she goes to her who wouldn't give her a bandaid from a box on the shelf and asked her to go to customer service for one. It also includes all her doctors, her dentist, the lady at the post office, and the neighbors on every side of her house who she stomps up to their doors and screams at them for whatever slight she has imagined. She has had a revolving door of friends over 20 years that I've seen. But she treats me worst of all. She has no other family except my husband and she wants to be the wife. She has tried to physically harm me and has verbally abused me over and over, usually when my hubby leaves the room. I love him but I am fed up with him not standing up to her. She will lie straight to his face and he will accept the lie even when he knows she is doing it. Once she tried to give me orange juice, but I had a feeling something was wrong with it and said no thanks. When my husband said he'd take it and reached for it, she quickly snatched it away and dumped it down the sink. Then there was the time she was having a disagreement with him and he went upstairs to lay down because she'd made him sick with her tantrums. She asked me to go to her cellar for something and I did and she followed me down and starting shaking me. Luckily he knew something was up and came down or I might be buried in that cellar now. She looked after our cat which "disappeared". Last year she dropped pills on the floor which the dog got to. This year we caught her bringing pills to the livingroom over christmas when there was no reason for her to take them there - not even a fridge on that floor of the house to get a drink from to take a pill with and she started fussing with the pills right beside the dogs kennel. Then she cornered me on the 26th the night before she left. I stood up to her and told her it was my house and I would not tolerate her disrespecting me in my own home and that we needed to stay away from each other. So she went crying to my husband and said she just wants to be part of the family. This from the lady who tried to get away with slapping our son in the face when he was a toddler because she gave him a straw and he knocked something over with it and tried roughing him up at an aquarium when took her on vacation with us. She had her will read to us this last summer which contains a clause about me not inheriting. Like I give a crap. I can achieve my own financial goals without that witches help. But I wish I could find a way to get more support from my husband because I am getting very bitterly angry with him for not dealing with her.
baysmith baysmith 41-45 4 Responses Jan 3, 2013

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At least she is 92, the years are limited. Wish mine was 92, mine is 44. She got pregnant with my husband at 14, so there's not much of a gap in age between any of us. I will probably have to deal with her up until the day I die...

THE WILL (insert dramatic eye roll) Fortunately my IL's have never pulled that one on us but my dad has plenty. I've spent a great deal of my life watching my grandfather do the same thing to him and his siblings too. It's nothing more than control via manipulation.

A little side note to how far some will go. My dad handed me all of his life insurance paperwork about 10 years ago and told me I was holding over a million dollars in my hands and needed to put it someplace safe. The first time he used it to try controlling me I told him he was more than welcomed to come get it because I didn't need it that badly. He then accused me of stealing the paperwork from his house. It wasn't until my husband called him out on that one and reminded him that he was also standing right there when he handed it to me and detailed what I was told he wanted me to do with it that he backed down on it. I'm positive that he didn't actually believe I had stolen it but he does such things to gain control. He never came and got it either. He's pulled that stunt on me a few other times but the last one I finally got fed up and told him he could shove it up his ***. I even offered to mail the paperwork to him that time and he told me to just keep it. He hasn't spoken to me since though. I was doing some cleaning a few months ago and ran across the paperwork so I called my sister to ask if she wanted me to send it to her since I figure at this point he's probably put everything in her name. She was asking some questions about it so for the first time I decided to actually open everything up and look at it. Low and behold! He seriously over inflated the value of that policy, 10 times to be exact. I guess he thought holding a million dollars instead of a hundred thousand over my head would be more effective.

Wow, that is so tough. Thank you for your kindness and sharing your story. The will thing has really been the final nail in the coffin (no pun intended). I won't have anything more to do with her. And by doing that she freed me from any guilt of severing ties with her. That part is good.

Wow. I am sorry. Perhaps try setting up a video camera or lapel camera to catch her in the act or carry a voice recorder in your pocket to show your husband and/or have her committed an turned into the police for physical abuse

I have told him that if she lays a finger on me I will call the police. This last holiday she grabbed at my arms and was going to hold on so I could not walk away from her while she carried on. But I shocked her by telling her to let go of me. She did let me go. Thanks!

I had 30 years of my MIL kicking me in the groin.I told my wife to stand up for me or I was walking.NOW,we both set limits on the old bag.

I'm envious of you becaause your old bag is in the 90's.Ours is 81 and has Dementia and severe Alcoholism.She hates evryone equally....LOL

Her neighbors have helped with the lawn and snow or any repairs over the last 15 years.We live 300 miles away so we appreciate them.Then last year the neigbors had marriage trouble and came to talk to the old bat.She proudly THREW THEM OFF THE PROPERTY.

Did I mention that I have 26 years in the Behavioral field and Psychology ? Your old bat and my old bat have something in common.It's called MENTAL ILLNESS.

Everyone dies and you will get piece soon.Your hubby is human and may have a reason for being spineless and a coward so show this to him and let's find out WHY YOUR FEELINGS DON'T MATTER TO HIM ?

Is he insensitive for a reason or is he teying to make you VERY RESENTFUL ?

Maybe he doesn't like sex or he wants to go for marriage therapy.I hear men LOOOVE talking about feelings......LOL

LOL thanks. I really appreciate the advice and it is so good to know I am not alone.