Overly Critical, She Needs To Look At Herself!

Every once in a while my bottle fills up and I need to vent so I'm back again!

I just really wish my MIL isn't the way she is. She really contradicts my personality and I just find myself thinking about how much I despise her even when she's not there at the moment.

She's still SOOOO critical; always complaining about everything and everyone, even nice people. Nothing pleases her. And to make things worse, she loves to BRAG about herself like she's something special, when she's in fact (and I know her true self after 4 years) very lazy, never cleans her filthy house and depends on my husband to do things for her. She got used to her husband cleaning for her so when he passed, she just depends on my husband and myself.

The thing is, there is a mask she wears when she's out in public socializing with friends and family. Although others I'm sure may get somewhat annoyed of her critical, dominant self, they don't see the REAL her, the one that my husband and I sees since she's comfortable blabbing her mouth off unfiltered when she's with us. They don't see the pig stye she lives in.

So the latest things she's done to annoy me is during Christmas, my husband and I took the time to get her the perfect gifts for her-- ones that suit her personality. Instead of graciously accepting it, she instead feels has to say things like "Oh, did you get this at [some store that her sister works in]? Because I could've got a discount there blah blah blah" IT'S A GIFT! Just accept it, geez! She also complained of how all her relatives kept buying her gifts "Why do they have to get me all these gifts?!" And the reason it bothers her is because she was too lazy to go out and go shopping for them and she felt guilty. She has money, but she prefers taking people out for meals instead of shopping for them (like I said, she's at this point in her life where she doesn't do things for other people anymore). It's Christmas, and those people who bought her gifts weren't demanding anything in return, it's out of good will, so stop complaining.

So last week, my husband and I just returned from a vacation in Japan. Instead of asking us how our trip went, guess what?! She started talking about how HER trip to Japan went like, 30 years ago! She didn't even listen to us tell our story. She's hardly ever interested in what we have to say. She's so self-absorbed and talkative. When I tried squeezing in tidbits of how our trip went she would actually argue with me or point out what she thought of what I said She says "right" as I talk like I'm asking for validation and cuts me off as I'm talking and can't just listen for once--- aaargh, so annoying. She did the same after our honeymoon trip-- picked us up from the airport not to ask how it went, but to go on and on about HER honeymoon 50 years ago.

She also loves to brag about how she gardens, etc. in public when she is notorious at home for killing plants. She doesn't water them because she is a woman who has given up on doing any house work whatsoever, just plays games on the computer all day (Bejeweled), not exaggerating. My husband and I are the ones that clean up after her and I have to save all her dying plants that she doesn't water. She brings them in the house because she has no idea of how to care for plants, like sunshine, water, etc., yet out in public, guess what? Flowers this, flowers that. My gaaarden... She loves to brag about how she gardens and then criticize everyone else about everything.

Going to breakfast with her, which is tradition between my husband and her, is a guarantee that she will find a slot to fill with bragging about herself. How she is such an amazing teacher, etc. etc. (HARD to believe because she is so lazy) and how specific people complimented her and how she knew better about something and gave advice to someone, etc. I often want to take a fork and jam it in my hand so I can feel a different kind of pain.

I'm tired... so tired of putting up with this woman to be a good wife. My marriage is otherwise perfect if not for her. I don't know what her husband's death did to her mentally but it's torture just being with her and having to respect her.

Her voice makes my skin crawl. She has this tight, strained voice that's loud because her hearing's gone bad from game rooms.

What bugs me the most about her I think is how she loves to come off as this goody goody person and criticize other people-- just nonstop talk bad about them in public. That to me is an injustice. She never mentions how much of a dirty pig or how lazy she is at home... no, she's this perfect housekeeper and she must be-- so people think, since she's always pointing out the flaws in everyone else. Hypocrite.

It would make me feel better if she was more humble about herself-- you know, like instead of putting on a show, appreciate what we do for her, or at least be honest about herself and not act like she's Ms. Thing. And listen, to other people once in a while.

The thing is, she likes me, apparently. Her children, her friends and family always say she's fond of me and appreciates me. But I really can't stand HER; I feel like it's always a patience game when I'm with her and I just want to tell her off so bad.

Anyone care to vent? Is there anyone here who has to bite their tongues when they're with their MILs to the point of exploding?
babyblue202 babyblue202
26-30, F
1 Response Jan 5, 2013

I don't speak to mine anymore. Flat out refuse to. I don't think I could even bite my tongue with her anymore, after everything that vile woman has done to me. She even broke my husband and I up, AND paid for his divorce attorney and all fees etc. Boy did that ever **** her off when we reconciled 3 days before finalization. My husband realized I wasn't crazy, his mother was behind it all and he finally saw the light.

That's so wrong what she did to you... I swear, I wish all women were like my mother (real mother). My mother respects everyone and has always been very mature and diplomatic.

I always thought women get wiser as they age--- SO WRONG! They're immature, silly and have nothing else better to do than to sabotage and annoy.