Mother In-laws Suck!

Mine only sucks because my boyfriend has been her favorite son since the day he was born. I have no idea what to do but my boyfriend doesn't want to choose between me and his mom. She's becoming too much for me to handle, every day is a constant battle because she is suffocating our relationship. It's like I'm fighting another girlfriend! She fights me for his attention, whenever I am at their get togethers (which is always), all of his family acts like he's the only one to exist because his mom talks **** about me. I can't take it anymore, I'm not even trying to do anything better or more than her and she's making my life hell. She did the first deployment and I almost walked out on my Marine completely. We've been together 5 years and I truly believe that he hasn't asked me to marry him in part because of his mom. I want to move away so badly but he 90% would not come with me. I feel like I've invested a lot of my heart into this and I really thought I'd be damned if she was gonna ruin our relationship but now I am not that strong anymore. I wish we could just be together and happy without his mom constantly demanding attention. None of this is fair to me and I'm trying to be fair to him but I can't take it anymore. Five years is a long time to be committed and a second deployment in March. I feel like I should mean more to him than his mom. She would so marry him if she could that's how creepy it is. This all really sucks because he's everything I ever wanted in a man and my best friend; he's been there for me and I've been there for him through a lot. He shows no emotion and that's because his mother taught him growing up that that is not the way to react to something if you're mad about it. I'm trying to break that habit but he's already 30 and I feel that my life is being wasted by her. If he isn't willing to change then I feel like I need to be the one to change this, this put me into a depression 3 years ago and I'm not willing to go through it again even though I'll probably have no choice. I wish I knew more people that their men didn't want to choose between their mothers and their girlfriends or maybe I just wish I was the chosen one. I need to be saved though.
devildoglove devildoglove
22-25, F
3 Responses Jan 6, 2013

I have walked in your shoes. I loved my husband always and knew that one day his Mother would get what she deserved. Keep your head up girl. Stand up for yourself! Fight for what you want. Don't let her get what she wants. That would be you out of the picture. Simply have no contact with her. Step back. See her reaction. If you bf really loves you he will eventually see his mother for what she truely is! She sounds like she may be a Narcissist. Research it. Love your bf and tell him you will not take this hurt from him or his mother. If he can't simply tell his mother to respect you than he himself doesn't respect you. Tell him he needs to say it calmly to her. He doesn't have to be mean to her. But he needs to tell her. Patience. It did take awhile for him to see what she really was. He still loves her but he will not be apart of her life if I'm not respected. She is such a Narcissist that she is willing to lose her son, her grandchildren, than to ever admit she was wrong! Pray about it. I am someone that prayed. Had patience. Loved my husband. Stood up for myself. And now I couldn't be happier! She will never be part of my life ever again!

That woman will one day be your children's grandmother sometimes live isn't enough you need to be socially compatible too. Imagine younhave a house together and things need fixing but because of mothers hold in him she gets her stuff done first. RUN don't walk, if he hasn't asked you after five years he isn't going to..... Never asked and have a crazy MIL!

Love isn't enough...

I know exactly how you feel!!! I love my bf and don't want his mother to 'win' by me giving up on the relationship but at the same time I don't want her in my life. My bf is so bloody attached to his family and they're not even decent people! He lends them money and never sees it again and would never ask for it back. He thinks that's just what you do for family. I moved to Canada to be with him 2 years ago and she's made my life hell, She sees me as a threat because I am Australian and will one day take him away from her but if they never lived in Australia in the first place I never would have met him! Just because they wanted to move back to Canada doesnt mean he had to drop his life to follow them. But he did. If they were nice to me and showed a little interest (they never ask me questions or talk to me) living near them would be a little more bearable. Im thinking of getting out of this because it's just going to upset me forever and my bf hates hearing about it.

Yea, idk what to do at this point. I'm stuck and lost and lonely and I would much rather never have to deal with his mom again she is exactly how u described your inlaws. It just sucks that people are that way. He tells me it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks but it does to me when they're always around and he's gonna be deploying soon.