The Golden Cow

My mother-in-law is going to be staying with us for a month. I had 3 kids before I married her son, and now we have a daughter between us. Ever since our daughter was born, she's been coming every 3 months, and will stay for a month. I can pretty much handle her for 2 weeks, then her little antics start getting old. I remember watching TV and a commercial for genital herpes medication aired, and the "actors" talked about herpes outbreaks. I don't know why, but I instantly thought of her. I thought, wow, the outbreaks happen every so often, make you sick, and are a pain in the ***, and then I thought, OMG it's her! She speaks little English, so I can't really converse with her a lot. I remember telling her someone died, and she said, "Oh, that's good"...WTF?! As I said, I have 3 children not from this marriage, and two of the children are autistic, one severely with hearing loss, and the other is not so much, but also has ADHD, so they are like 4 children between the two. Needless to say, our house is quite noisy, and chaotic. When the kids come from school, the autistic ones try to play, and she tells them to go to sleep because she can't stand the noise. I swear I hate the B****! She says she has a doctorate in Psychology, but she's acting like she doesn't understand our plight, and she has to act like a t***. That's not the only thing, she won't say much to me, but when my husband walks into the room, she starts yelling in Arabic. Of course I can't understand s***, but then my husband starts going off on me. I don't say anything to her, but I do offer her tea and I try my hardest to be nice, even though I can't stand her a**. Also, when we go to the store, she picks out stuff and tries to put it with my stuff like I'm taking her on a damn shopping spree. There are 4 kids in the house, and we don't make much money. I really want her to stay somewhere else. As it is, my brother in law was involved in a domestic dispute, and now he has nowhere to go, so you guessed it, he's coming here, along with the cow. I swear, when they all get together, they go to sleep at 3 in the morning, and talk loudly, and have no respect for those who have to get up early. Also, the last time she was here, she woke the baby, and they expected me to stay up with her because they were tired of playing with her, even though I had to wake up at 6 in the morning to get the other kids ready. Here's another one, she used a drawer in my daughter's dresser as her personal wastebasket, along with my daughter's toy chest that still had my daughter's toys in it!!!! I SWEAR SHE'S THE BIGGEST PIG I'VE EVER KNOWN!!!!

She also eats very healthy, and I'm thinking, well...evil never dies, does it. I swear I can't stand her, and I'm ready to leave my husband because of her. Oh, and get this, he doesn't want to hear anything negative about her. I'm trying to be as patient as I can, but this is bull****. I saw a thread on here about someone wishing their mother in law would die, and I have to thank all of you who commented and posted. I was laughing, not at you, but because I thought I was the only one who felt like this, so it was relief. She travels from Egypt to the states, and I was watching Dr. G. Medical Examiner, and saw a story about a scientist who traveled from Russia to the states, and a few days after he arrived in the states, he dropped dead at his lunch table. Dr. G. explained that on long trips, people can develop blood clots, and they can go to the heart, and cause instant death. I have to admit, I fantasized about this happening to my mother in law. I imagined her complaining to my husband, and in the middle of it, her eyes just roll to the back of her head and she just flops down. She's just horrible!
MeAllMe MeAllMe
31-35, F
4 Responses Jan 9, 2013

Well I understand all of this. Let me tell you my mother in law is worse. She has seen off 3 boyfriends and my husbands Dad. She is 77 drinks like a fish smokes like a lumb and has had more.men than hot dinners. She has never been a mother or in law. Shes a selfish old cow.My husband had a terrible life yet thinks the sun shines from her huge fat arse. She gets drunk and fall around in front of my kids. Lost her teeth drunk ******.her pants. The.word selfish was made for her. Help

I'm sorry,but I'm going to say it.
Your hubby is supposed to stand by the woman he sleeps with.That would be his wife.

What do I know about Psychology ? Well,I worked with behaviors in a Facility for 26 years and I studied Psychology over the 26 years.I have graduated from two Colleges.

So the man and wife are supposed to be a team that sets boundries on the MIL.

I think one trip per year is reasonable lasting 3 weeks.

You need to see a therapist to talk about my ideas and to get a third opinion.Then the therapist needs to work with your hubby and yourself to cut a deal.

If he will not comply with therapy and negotiation then it's time to leave him with his mom every time she comes to visit until this is resolved.You must have a friend or family to stay with to send a message to him IF NEEDED ??

I get the feeling he will take a while to wake up.

A while back, I did suggest marriage therapy about our issues, and about issues with his mother. The only thing he says is, "You have the problem, not me". He argues like a child, and sometimes I just give up because I can't get through to him. As far as staying somewhere else when his mom comes, believe me, I wanted to so bad, but there's nowhere else we can stay. We're pretty much stuck here, unfortunately. Also, my husband can't stand anyone saying anything remotely negative about his mother. Believe me, I'm at the point where I'm trying to get my stuff together (finances...etc) to get the hell out of here.

I'm sorry that your husband is actting irrational,immature and unrealistic.

These men are VERY SURPRISED when the woman leaves them.

They sometimes wake up at that point to an important point.IF MOMMA AIN'T HAPPY THEN NO ONE ENDS UP HAPPY.

These men talk in terms of winning BUT....if ANYONE loses in a relationship then you both lose.It's supposed to be a negotiation so both parties win or get a little part of what they both want.

Tell him that you want to go to a NEGOTIATOR so he can get ( some ) of what he wants and you can get some of what you want.

There are several scenarios that run through my head that I wish would happen to my mil. You are definitely not alone!!! Anyway you can put your foot down saying you don't run a dang hotel??? Either that or charge them a daily rate for inconveniencing you... Insanely high daily rate, where staying at a hotel would be vastly cheaper!! Lmao. ;)

I would love to charge her! Lol

Wow! I have a mil that is hard to deal with, however I never wish bad things to happen to her. The good part about it all is that my husband isn't really close to her. Thats not my argument though. My argument is how can I make sure that doesnt happen to me. I love my son with all my heart he's only 5 crazy I know but I often wonder if his future wife and I will get along. If he'll forget me, if she'll love me. What could your husbands mom do for you that'll make you love her. What kind of mil do you wish she were?

You know i'm not by nature a spiteful person . or even very good at holding a grudge. But if the old bad flopped over today I might not bake a cake but i really would feel a sense of relief to know that she is just gone.
I haven't spoken a word to them since Nov 30th. 2011. I have tried to make a point of not speaking about her to anyone. Its when she turned on her son. My husband. I might despise her but that's still his mother. They were rotten parents and just rotten vile people. I'm tired of hearing what sweet little old people they are. Thats the face they put out in public . For some reason its more important to have strangers to think better of them than their own children. Just becasue the rest of her kids kiss her butt doesn't mean they don't see what's going on.

To be honest, she's not easy to live with. She knows what kind of household we have (chaotic), yet she expects everyone to conform to how she thinks. I think she's being unreasonable. When the kids are loud, she complains to my husband who then lays into me about it, which ****** me off. Finally, if she would just respect what we have, then, I might love her.

Isn't it funny how innocent they behave in front of strangers?

There are so many times I wish i'd had a tape recorder or a video camera handy.

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