Counting Days....

So continuing my previous post about MIL (Monster-in-law) moving in for 6 months at a stretch..It is getting close to a month and I am getting dizzy headed already. That canniving, mean spirited pretending to be miss goody two shoes is making my life miserable.
My husband is unwell and I am trying not to make any noise or cause stress but its making me sick. literally! Last week I broke into this horrible rash all over my body. I am not an allergic person and I didnt do anything different like eat or drink or wear anything new but still I had a rash all over my body. Went to the doctor and guess what he said its stress!
He said your body has primary signs of being stressed. raised heartbeat, tensed muscles and as a result the outlet was a red angry rash all over my body. Now I sit in a car and think I just cant go on like this. I cant be under so much pressure and make myself sick. I have a baby to tend to and a husband who needs help.

She just annoys me in any which way possible. I told her I need to cook at least for my baby and myself if not for everyone cause she has horrible eating habbits. But guess what before I come home from work EVERYDAY she freaking has cooked something nasty already. Alot of you would say why dont you cook something else. I try but I am not a wasteful person and each time I throw the food it costs money.

She will taunt me when my husband is not there. Try to play with my son when it is his bed time. When we asked her to look after him for 2 hours cause we had some errands to run she plainly refused. So it is a clear indication that she plays with him at 8PM just to annoy me.

She is a complete pig. She has taken over my kitchen and its filthy!!!! aaargh i hate her.god please give me strength or kick her off my home!!!
tornFlower tornFlower
26-30, F
5 Responses Jan 12, 2013

<p>I hear you guys. I am in a bit of fix right now. From my other posts, I am dependent on my husband for my work visa. My dad is helping me and guiding me at this time. I finally broke and told him everything. I am in no means a push over. I am very successful in my work life and hold a good position in America. I have worked very hard since last 6 years to get to where I am and I dont want to loose it all because of a hasty decision. <br />
Right now I am removing myself from the toxicity by planning all day outings with my son on weekends and isolating me in a room during weekdays. The messed up part is my hsuband doesnt think he did anything wrong and is behaving normally towards me. Either he is ignorant or just has no conscience. I just dont want to speak to him AGAIN about the same situation because its barking up the wrong tree. <br />
My dad has suggested to keep myself and the baby away from the stress and keep doing what makes me happy and to just hand in there for the visa to come thru (ETA 1 year) and make a move cause then I will be in a position to call the shots.<br />
I have no choice and think where I have spent 6 yrs in a situation 7 maybe bearable. But atleast I am not in any misconception that things are goign to change or that 'my family' is a family of love, care and affection. Obviously I am very sad to know that sometime down the line my son will loose his 'family' and it would be broken.I hate that feeling.I always think why did I had to land up in this situation. Why?!<br />
I had a plan. A plan to be married in a fairy tale marriage. A beautiful family. A boy and a girl. A dog,big house and loving husband. Everything is shattered. Everything is lost. Everything a waste. 6 years wasted in an effort to make things right.</p>

Update to my situation: SHE WON. Yes she did. I have lost all. My home, my husband, my respect. My husbnd snapped yesterday and told her to basically ignore me and continue living "as long as she would like". His idea was barring her from talking to me but still continue doing what she is doing. So she "doesnt gets in my way". Obviously this genious idea is no good and it has become unbearable at this household. Needless to say I am evaluating my options. I lost trust and am very hurt. His mom obviously holds more priority than any of us.

I'm sorry your husband made that STUPID decision.

What do you want to do about this toxic situation ?

Will you go stay with a relative for a while ? This may make him think after a few days and......more importantly give you time alone to think.

Again this is a sad situation but it is NOT YOUR FAULT.You have been push against a wall by the MIL and your husbands actions.

I would have belted her and thrown her out. GOOD LUCK DOLL

OK let's play hardball.

You leave and stay with relatives for two weeks.If he doesn't negotiate with you then head off to see a lawyer.

If he sees you file for a seperation the HE MAY WAKE UP ?

If nothing improves then you file for divorce.You get half of evrything and support and he can live with mommy.

The problem is that YOU are not serious about this.It's ok to play the victim for a few days but then it's time to raise up and say ENOUGH !!

ONLY YOU CAN CONTROL YOU.Don't allow someone to steal your happiness.You are responsible for your happiness.

Very well said!!!!

1 More Response

It is your home. You have every right to say who does and does not step foot in your home. The lack of respect is unwelcome, so the person disrespecting you therefore is unwelcome. Put your foot down, and do not become the doormat or punching bag for your mother in-law. Limit her time there and set up a hotel for her to stay at. Once she has to start paying she will end up going back home.

Studied Psychology for 26 years and worked in a behavior unit.

Winning saying is " I'M SORRY,.....BUT....THIS JUST ISN'T WORKING FOR ME "

You keep smiling and repeating this neutral phrase.

Of course this works best if your hubby knows that your health is failing from the stress.

Thanks Retiremesoon. He knows. I told him and showed him. I know in my heart that he will always favor her. It was always like this and more pronounced after we had trouble in our marriage. I can never seem to show him my side. Rather he is never able to completley understand my side and walk in my shoes. I have said its not working for me many times. Even to the fact that I will walk out if this continues. But everything is either forgotten or taken too lightly. The fact that I am putting up with this $hit is because he is unwell and i dont want to stess him and secondly when my parents come to visit for 2 weeks or less he will make their lives miserable. But one thing is for sure after few weeks I wont be so tolerant. i dont know why some people dont have slef-respect. If the MIL knows how much I dislike her then why does she comes again and again and impose herself on us!!

I UNDERSTAND what you are saying and I hear you.

After your hubby gets better if that is posssible then it is time to get yourself into THERAPY.Many insurance companies cover therapy.

Then it's time to get this situation fixed once and for all.YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE LIKE THIS.He can follow you to therapy or lose a wife.

Just kick her out. Just say, "this doesn't work for me"

I wish she would listen! Thanks for your support :)

Well, she doesn't have to listen. Its your house. Her name is not on the mortgage. She has zero claim or right to live there 6 months at a time. Unless you want to make her pay rent?