The Divorce Saved Her Life

i never thought getting divorced would make me so happy and provide so much relief.

i'm fairly certain had the marriage succeeded (which she wouldn't allow) one of the two of us would have died.

i don't hate anyone but this woman is at the top of my list of, "i almost hate her."  i'm simply indifferent about her which i think is worse. 

immediately prior to his grandfather passing the grandfather related to my exhusband that it was now his 'job' to take care of the women (the mom and grandma.)  he took this literally and never moved out of their house. in fact, he bought them a new one.

we were to be married and it was the plan to move to the 'family home.'  this would take me a few states away from my house, job, friends and family.  to his credit he was honest enough with me to admit that he'd been married twice before and that both women had left him blaming it on his mother.  he warned me.  well ... i've NEVER not been able to get along with family, especially in-laws, friend's families, etc. 

Boy was in for a surprise!

i was hurt 5 mos prior to marrying/moving and ended up not being able to move due my doctors and surgeries. 

now this man was able to scream at her, get upset with her, talk about her to anyone one in any way he wished but should anyone else have a concern or issue they were not allowed to discuss it.  that was HIS mother afterall and NO ONE would be allowed to disrespect her.  it didn't matter how you approached it, if it was not positive you were NOT allowed to speak of her.

now ... imagine her dismay and anger when he moved out of the 'family house' for the first time in 31 years and moved 3 states away to his sick wife's side. 

he still paid their bills, he made sure to visit her twice per month, communicate EVERYday sometimes several times per day via email and spoke on the phone nearly each day.

she made my life utter h3ll!  she'd call me under her false pretenses and then twist things all over getting him upset with me.  the humiliation she would put me through during visits was unfathomable.  she called me names, she'd laugh at me, etc. etc. etc.  she'd find out what i was getting him for his birthday or another holiday and she'd go get the same thing but with an upgrade of sorts.  she actually did that with me on every family member i bought for and on more than one ocassion.  the second time it happened she told me she wanted to make sure she didn't get the same thing i did that was on their list like had happened in the past.  (i finally caught on to her game of 'outdo'.)  she spoke badly about me to the entire family.  the list is endless.  all the while she was doing all these things she'd be nice to my face in front of 'important' people and revert right back to herself when they were gone. 

now remember ... i was very sick during this time.  i went through 43 surgeries and countless doc appointments (i'd been in a pretty bad accident.)  when we'd visit on the holidays (the only time i went due to my healthcare schedule) she would physically hurt me.  she would ask what was bothering me that day as if she was concerned, i.e. my stomach, my hand, my foot or leg, etc., and then she'd grab hold of my hand real hard (if that is what i mentioned was hurting that day) and she'd smile at me and say something like, "well i hope you feel better soon."  or if i told her my hips were bothering me she'd be sure to smack me real hard on the bottom several times like it was in gest or something. 

i finally told my husband that i was tired of it all and if i couldn't talk to him about it and he wasn't willing to make it stop that i'd have to go to her directly and get it to cease.  i simply could not deal with it, and didn't need to, in my condition.  he advised me to leave the situation alone.  maybe he did this for my own good.  perhaps had i said anything she would've gotten worse.  i really don't know.

this is a woman that goes to church every Sunday claiming how much she loves Jesus and boasts regularly about what a great Christian she is! 

when her son and i finally split for good she would tell him all kinds of things that i supposedly said about him.  this got him even more upset and heartbroken. 

her son and i remained best friends after the divorce.  we split because i was very sick and it was unfair to him.  it caused undue stress on the relationship and he began to get physically violent.  we felt it best for the both of us to divorce. 

i don't guess she much cared for he and i having any type of relationship.  at least she had her son back.  i'd think she'd be happy enough with that.

nearly a year later i would call her to apologize to her for breaking her son's heart.  i called with my ex's consent.  he thought it to be a good idea.  i just wanted to bury the hatchet and not have hostile feelings.  do you know what this 'Christian' woman would say to me?  she said, "do you really expect me to forgive you?  you've wasted your time and money calling me." 

what a f'g BEAST!  she's the one that should have been apologizing to me.  when my ex found out (nearly immediately) how the call went he blew his top.  he told her that she wasn't worthy of my apology nor my forgiveness!  ROFL  he should have done something like this much earlier on but i'm sure it stung plenty coming from her pride and joy.  and thus i got some revenge - a day late and a dollar short...

i will leave it at that.

AbbyNormal AbbyNormal
31-35, F
1 Response May 25, 2007

How horrible to have to deal with someone like her! It sounds like she and your ex both abused you. This is the first story of a mother in law I have read where there was physical abuse. The fact that this woman walked around calling herself a Christain and talking about Jesus is very scarey! I believe in God so don't get me wrong but I have come across some people in my time that were so evil and nasty and they went to church and called themselves Christains. That is why I quit going to church for so long. I am glad you are away from all that now.