I Dont Want To Hurt Her....I have been married for almost two years now and my relationship with my husband is fantastic. We are both successful and highly motivated in life. When we first started dating, I loved his mom. She was kind and very understanding of our need for space sometimes. That all changed when we got married. We got married in a tropical location, meaning that all of our family had to fly out. My MIL seemed happy to be there at first, but as our wedding/honeymoon week progressed, she made us miserable. Keep in mind this was supposed to be our HONEYMOON/wedding. When we wanted to go to the beach alone, she would insist in tagging along. Hot tub time? Count her in. Awkwardly busting in on us while we were in our private suite? Check. I understand she probably had a hard time letting her son go. I get that, and we can laugh about it today. However, it gets worse. Later on in the week, she just started to get mean. She rudely screamed at me at a nice dinner one night because she didnt like how I was eating my food. It caught everyone off guard because it was so unexpected. She started making snide remarks about my own mother. She constantly snapped at me over nothing. Fast forward to the present. My husband and I made a cross country move so I could start professional school. My MIL told us we could stay with her to save money which was very kind of her. We discussed our concerns over whether or not there would be enough space in her small home for two more adults and our young child. She insisted it would be okay, she had made plenty of space. We pack up and drive across country, get to her home, walk in, and SURPRISE! Wall to wall stuff. I'm not talking clutter, I'm talking hoarding. It was overwhelming. There was no space even for one suitcase of clothes. She told us we could shove our stuff in the last little edge of the packed to the ceiling garage. We did. I sucked it up and tried to be patient. She kept promising she would clean up. I offered to do whatever I could to help. It never changed. My toddler would find things like pills in random places, scissors, and once a knife just randomly stuffed in a pile of clothes. I constantly worried he would end up buried in a pile of clothes. One night I just had a breakdown. I told her I couldn't take it anymore, the environment wasn't good for my child. She blew up. Got in my face, inches away from being physical, and hurled some of the most hurtful insults about me and my family. After this, we moved out. She badmouthed me to her family. The truth is, Im still angry. I feel as if she misled us into moving in with her, and I dont know how to help her without hurting her.
biochembetty 26-30, F 5 Responses 0 Feb 5, 2013