Top Ten Signs of Mother-in-law From Hell

Wouldn't you like to know what the signs of a potentional MIL from hell would be when you are dating the man of your dreams?  I have a theory of the possible signs, however, do keep in mind that each person may or may not have a different experience.  I find, however, that the signs listed here seem to be universal to all of us that enjoy the life with a MIL form hell.

DISCLAIMER:  If you are in fact a MIL from hell reading this post and identify with any or all of the items listed here, there is still hope that you can change things.  If you do not consider yourself a MIL from hell and find a potential list of traits offensive, stop reading HERE.

10.) If your significant other  (S.O.) hesitates on introducing you to his mother and gives you the excuse that his mother tends to be difficult. {Please note, most sons are reluctant to say anything remotely negative about their mothers' therefore you must read between the lines on this one.}

9.) Her son avoids her calls and makes the excuse that he will call her back later. {Three weeks go by and he still hasn't called her back.  This usually occurs during the initial dating phase when he doesn't want to explain why he hasn't been calling.}

8.) For In State mothers - she forces the son to visit her atleast once a week and gripes incessantly if he misses a visit to where she then shows up at his door at 10 o'clock at night.  OUT of State mothers - hints that she wants to come for a visit several times only not to receive a response from her son.  Therefore, she books a flight without consulting her son and tells him when to take off from work to be with her.

7.) Obtains your cell number and/or email address and starts to call you and/or email when her son does not pick up the phone.  She then starts contacting you to see "what is going on" because her son just doesn't tell her anything.  WARNING:  DO NOT tell her anything that can be perceived as negative against her son, this will come back to bite you in the butt.

6.) Bad mouths former girlfriends of your significant other to you and tells you that she hopes she does not have the same problem with you.  Ironically the problems she lists with the ex-girlfriends seem to consistent regardless of the differences in the women.

5.) You spend time with your MIL and you think everything went well . Three days later your S.O. tells you that he received a call from his mother stating that she was offended when you said <insert here> and your S.O. warns you to be careful when you speak to his mother.  {Side note:  If you MIL can't tell you when she is offended directly, what else isn't she saying?}

4.)  At family functions, your MIL spends most of her time talking to the rest of the family and glaring at you.  Occassionally you find her whispering to someone and then looking at you.  She seems to avoid you at these functions and you begin to feel like an outsider.

3.) MIL enters your home and begans to walk around like a sergeant inspecting the barricks.  She then dusts her chair off before sitting down and tells you that your place could stand a little work.  She then offers tips on how to clean.

2.) MIL constantly without provocation provides unsolicted advice aka critcism at every turn. From what you are wearing, to how you keep house, to what your career is.  The "advice" never stops.

1.) The MIL blames you for their son not calling, their son not visiting, their son not doing whatever the MIL wants them to do.  She will then solicit family members to also blame you for the discord in the family.  This type of circumstance usually happens after a family reunion, any holiday, and/or any othe family outing.

I am sure that many of you can add to the list and please do...

And for all the women out there suffering from the MILs from HELL... may the force be with you.

bonobabe bonobabe
31-35, F
12 Responses May 29, 2007

My narcissistic MIL seemed super super cool before me and my hubby got married. I sooo wish I had observed her MORE and knew about personality disorders before. I was 7 months pregnant when we got married so things went along pretty fast. Ended up living in their home and as soon as I gave birth to my baby boy she exhibited such nasty and jealous behavior. "So who held him more, your mom or your dad?" She'd ask upon us returning from my parents' home. Who the hell asks that kind of question?? Then after I took a nap I went downstairs to get my baby back from her and there was a cut on my baby's finger!! The idiot had tried to cut his fingernails without telling me!!!!!!!! Devil.

Yup, I get blamed for EVERYTHING. My husband always finds a ton of yardwork that needs done whenever she comes on her monthly visit, so I get stuck listening to her comments about how her poor son is so overworked and tired and he doesn't seem happy. She always tells me I need to be nicer to him and help him more. She will never admit that he is avoiding her. She prefers to think I am an awful wife/mom/housekeeper so her poor son has to work so hard and doesn't have time to visit with her. And I don't just blame her. I blame my husband too for not being able to tell her how it is. I have accepted the fact that no matter what I do, she will not like me. I try to not let her comments bother me and every month I repeat to myself: it's only two days, don't let her comments bother you. But every time I am hurt and angered by the unfairness of the situation.

Yes well try having a mother in law who never fails to ask if i cooked for her son, "well duh what am i going to let him watch"! Trust he's well fed lady in every way;)

My MIL, when I reunited with her son (my hubby was a high school classmate) called me "another ordinary girl". When my husband announced our wedding, she didn't bother to help in the preparations. She forced us to stay in their house since my husband being the eldest pays for the utility bills. My MIL expects that my husband shoulders his other 2 brothers' expenses. My MIL allowed to bring girlfriends in our house and even allowed other girls aside from GFs of her other sons. Ended up getting them pregnant at the same time. My MIL at my back asked my husband to shoulder his Brother's wedding expenses. And she has an ugly label for me whenever she talks about me with my brothers in law. She allies with my evil sister in law who also does bad mouthing and blames me for every bad problem the family is encountering. My husband got angry and decided not to talk to them anymore.

hey dil's!<br />
She tried to organize my delivering by saying to my husband that he must go to work. And that she wants to take me to the delivery.She constantly calles him mommy's son. Now she is trying to organize my baby's baptism party ,with only her relatives ,she picked the day,food and the guests. And from my side only my parents.She is saying my way or no way. She mantioned that if it is not her way she ll not come. I wish i knew her before.

Your mother iin law is a saint compared to mine.she has managed to have me thrown out of our house twice.we are currently separated.although he took me out on valentines day and bought me flowers.she called the other day ranted and raved and said she would make sure hed divorce me. She called me a snake. She had her sister call me reiterating what a b I was.they both said the marriage is over. I have not heard from him makes me sad that her meddling has caused a break in our marriage vows. I can only pray for myhusband as her manipulation has effected our marriage.

16) she thinks you're a B****

17. She tries hard to ****** your children away from you and your family!

I should've known from the start I had a MIL from Hell. She insulted my parents when planning my wedding by telling them that HER friends/family needed top shelf alcohol and to let her know if they weren't "UP" for paying for it. At the wedding, they were busy boozing it up and missed the food being served. They took a picture with empty plates and claimed my family didn't provide enough food. She hurtfully has this picture displayed in her house. Through the years she's been nothing short of manipulative. Just this weekend, they came for 4th of July and when she asked me what she could bring - I said not to worry about it (didn't want her or anyone else, for that matter, to travel 3 hrs. with casserole dishes, etc.) This is what I would tell anyone coming for dinner or the weekend....thought I was being a good hostess. She ALWAYS confronts me when my husband is NOT around and this time says, "Honey, you are such a difficult person - I try to help lighten your load and bring things and you make it impossible to help" How do these things get twisted like this? If you twist your DIL's thoughts, words or actions - you are indeed a MIL from HELL!

Ha! My mother in law and I had the same birthdate...when I turned 30 my husband had planned a surprise party after I begged him not to...I was a little mad at him when we arrived b/c I do not like being the center of attention...she tells him 9 months later that she thought I was ungrateful! 9 freaking months that is almost a year...God I am glad I don't have to deal with her crap any more.

OMG! this is cracking me up! i'm seriously laughing out loud. especially at eve's statement. it happened just like she described! i'm roaring in laughter. if i weren't divorced from him i'm sure i'd be drowning in tears about now ... if i think of anything else i will be sure to add to it but this seems to be a fairly complete assessment of flags ... thank you for putting this together - ALL women should read this prior to walking down the aisle, ALL OF THEM! i'm sure the divorce rate would decrease by 20% at the very least!

16. When your DH tells your MIL he can't do something with her because he is planning a special day for you and she tries desparetly to talk him out of it claiming "BUT I"M YOUR MOTHER" When he continues to say no(atleast 10 times) , she pouts, calls YOUR mother complaining about you, and wont take her sons phone calls for a week, then pretends nothing was ever wrong.