How Do I Get Rid of Her For Few Years?

I have MIL and FIL who stay with me half of the year. My FIL and i can still work and talk, I just can not talk sense into her. I totally hate her. She would never let me say something i need to stay. SHe is helpful arround the house, takes care of my daguhter,  keeps my house tiday and people tells me that for what all she does for you i should put up with her need of dominating us. I can not do it, i like otbe independent. When I get all the help i really need but then I have to play the game by her rules, i feel that i am in a cage. She interfers in our lives as to what to eat, what to wear, not to go to a party because she is not invited. Forces me to follow the customs i do not believe in.  They have been coming and staying with us every year half of the year and my mother who is widow have not been able to saty with us (my mom had some things she needed complete first before she comes and stay with us) for last 12 years...ever since we have been married. Now my mother was ready to come and stay with us, my MIL did not cancel her plan to come this year and my mom had to cancel.  I can go on and on forever.....every chnages I make in house, she hates it even when my decision are right. left over chips and nachos etc i like to leave in its bag and clip it. And she has to put it in some kind of container.....peope tell me that why should i bother with such small things....but for me issues is not getting accpted in what i do, what i am. When she is around, she makes me feel i am good for nothing.  She has been coming to stay with me for last four years and i do not have any strenght to tolerate her this time. But I am not sure how can i get rid of her. How do i make her go back to her house? If i end up staying with her this year for whole 6 months, i am sure i will go mad and i will be depressed. I want to get rid of her for a couple of year so she does not come to my place and i can be with my hubbby and daughter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Imme99 Imme99
31-35, F
1 Response Jun 7, 2007

1. The best and most effective way is to make your husband understand about your situation. If he is on your side, then your inlaws cannot do anything to you. <br />
Tell your husband that you are a grown up adult and you can make decisions about what is good or bad for the house. If your inlaws want things in a particular way, they can do it in their own house. <br />
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2. If your mother-in-law says something, or asks you to do something, just listen and dont argue at that time. But do whatever you want to do and the way you want to do something. Let her become a cry baby.<br />
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3. If next year she comes when your mother has made a plan to visit you, tell your MIL/FIL to come after 2/3 months. If they dont listen, dont change your mother's plan. Let you mother and MIL/FIL come to your house together. If will be uncomfortable, tense atmosphere, let it be so. The next year your MIL/FIL should become more understanding. <br />
In the end, remember that it is YOUR (you+your husband's) house, and that in this house you will call the Shots and that if they have to live there, they have to live as per your terms and conditions. After all, didnt we have to live as per our parent's terms and conditions when we were living with them ??? Tell this to your mother often in front of your inlaws, hopefully they should get the message.<br />
A girl's old parents need the same amount<br />
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3. If possible, try to win your inlaws heart and support by being good, kind and supportive to them.