Post

The Day My Mother In Law Cut My Daughters Hair

My dghter had a beautiful head of blond curls.  But while I was at work my monster in law cut my 3 year olds hair for no apparent reason.  She cut her hair without asking anyone.  And to be more mean she waited till my father in law was out with my son where he could not stop her!  This has very much upset me and I would like some sisterly advice on what I should do to return the wonderful favor in which my wonderful monster in law has done to me and my dgter!

My husband was furious as well.  Hair is a big deal to us.  My hair is waist length.  My husband does not even like for me to trim my hair.  My dgters hair was something we had discussed and said we were not going to cut it ever until she decided (many years from now) to cut it.  My husband confronted my mil over the phone.  He was furious.  He says he will make sure the whole family knows what she has done.

This is not the begining of her maddness.  Lets go back to ........ 8 years ago .........3 weeks before our wedding..........the church was booked......the tuxs were sized and rented ......the wedding dress was in the closet......mind you we had been planning this wedding for 9  or 10 months.........and we had just had dinner at my ( "future"  in laws house) and I was helping my ("future") mother in law wash dishes.  When she informed me that her son( my "future" husband)  would not be getting married and that he would live with her forever.  What could anyone say to that?  That she is nuts.......yeah but we have established that already..... To keep the peace and not ruin our wedding,  I just put the dish that i had in my hand down and walked out. 

After we were married we had bought a fixer upper house,  my mil waisted no time telling me where i put everything and what color it should be. She even rearranged my stuff. If I had it one way she thought it should be another.

BUT THE ALL TIME KICKER IS THE DAY I WAS TO HAVE MY FIRST FAMILY DINNER IN MY FIRST KITCHEN........MY HUSBAND AND I HAD REMODELLED THE KITCHEN COMPLETEY (NEW EVERYTHING).  I HAD PURCHASED A VERY EXPENSIVE SINK AND IT HAD JUST BEEN INSTALLED( BY MY HUSBAND AND MY FATHER IN LAW.  WE WERE ABOUT TO SIT DOWN AND EAT .........WHEN I COULD NOT EVEN BELIEVE MY EARS........MY MOTHER IN LAW ASKED MY HUSBAND HOW HIS X WAS...........AT MY VERY FIRST TABLE ...........AT MY VERY FIRST FAMILY DINNER.....THEN AFTER DINNER SHE TRIED TO RACE ME TO MY NEW SINK TO WASH DISHES FOR THE FIRST TIME .......WHEN MY FATER IN LAW TOLD HER TO STOP THAT THIS WAS SOMETHING I WANTED TO DO.....SHE SAID I JUST WANTED TO HELP...

EVEN TODAY SHE NEVER MISSES A CHANCE TO ASK HOW MY HUSBANDS X IS OR WHAT SHE IS DOING NOW.  SHE HAS TOLD ME THAT THEY WOULD STILL BE TOGETHER IF IT WERE NOT FOR HER( MY HUSBANDS XS FAMILY).

WHAT SHOULD I DO TO MAKE THIS SITUATION BETTER?  MY MOTHER IN LAW LOVES HER FLOWERS.  I WONDER IF SHE WOULD LIKE IT IF I WENT OVER THERE AND CUT THEM ALL DOWN WHILE SHE WAS NOT THERE? OR MAYBE JUST TRIMMED THEM A LITTLE?

Of course I have more self control than that,  but it is very hard to deal with a mil that is that crazy.  I know that what comes around always goes all the way back around.  And the second time around it is not so sweet!!!!  Life is short........and anyway I have 2 wonderful kids to raise.  I can avoid the monster in law.   And I know her maddness will eventually be gone with the wind. 

I ALSO KNOW THAT IF MY MOTHER IN LAW TRULY LOVED HER SON AND HER GRANDCHILDREN THAT SHE WOULD HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR HER DAUGHTER IN LAW.  SHE VIOLATED HER GRANDDAUGHTER AND THE TRUST HER GRANDSON HAD FOR HER.  NOT TO MENTION THE TRUST HER SON HAD IN HER TO PROTECT AND CARE FOR HIS MOST PRICED POSSESSION ----HIS BABY DAUGHTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

06-15-07

 I could not deal with it anymore.  Last night I went over there to talk to her (mil).  My father in law would not let me see her.  He ended up pointing a gun at me.  It is now over I WILL NOT EVER SEE EITHER OF THEM AGAIN.  THAT WAS VERY WRONG.  HE WANTED TO KILL THE MOTHER OF HIS GRANDCHILDREN....  MY HUSBAND IS FINISHED WITH THEM TOO.  WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS????

 

 

curls curls 26-30, F 84 Responses Jun 9, 2007

Your Response

Cancel

I have cut my inlaw out of our lives also. Its been 2 years. Two year without them has been heaven. BUT they have lied and spread crap about me to so many people that they are still in control in many way. My mil also cut my daughters hair. and LIED and said she didnt. DUH. She really thought we were all that stupid that when you drop her off and it not cut and we come back and it is cut. and my little girl told us all about it also. She is the biggest liar i have ever met. .I hate her to deeply for 1000's of reason. I cant think of one thing i will remember good about her when she dies. I have been with my husband for 26 years. and married for 23. I have noone else in my life that i hate like my inlaws. I still have to deal with them. They BOUGHT the house next door to us. yup you heard me right they now are at that house daily fixing it up to sell or rent out. BUT we are very concerned they are going to get someone in there they know so they can keep an eye on us for ever. I am so proud that my husband now sees how crazy his parents really are. we have put up and HUGE 9 foot tall privacy/wall to block them out.. we put it right on the properity line. I would think that would give them a clue to leave us alone.. you reall need to stay away from them. maybe move to a different state even. You need your freedom from them. you really do.. we are thinking about moving also if someone moves in the house next to us they know. I feel you pain. i have been there for WAY TO LONG...

Honestly this is what I do. Shut her out completely. Your husband needs to back you 100% on this block her number if she shows up call the cops dont let her see the grandkids let her know her son is YOURS and if she doesnt treat you or your children right she has no business in your live post a note on your flor saying this eventually she will try to come over and see it and ENFORCE eventually she will have to kiss Ase or be treated like one

I have a mother in law just like yours

Sorry to hear that proudmom. The writers story is extreme and the only savings grace for her is that her husband is on the same page. Like another poster to this story, her husband is sticking with the mother. That is hard. When MIL's do extreme things, and the son goes along with the mother, well the story will eventually end bad--divorce.

My husband's ex-wife is an alcoholic and she causes us much distress. The MIL thinks we should put up with this madness because she is the mother of my husband's children. All kids are in their 30's and I see no reason for the ex-wife (while she is drunk) to continue parenting when the kids are adults! The ex apparently does as she says terrible things to "my" husband about me and my family (even though I am very nice to her--well until recently-I drew the lines)swearing at "my" husband and calling him horrible names. Meanwhile, the MIL says things like "well she is the mother of his children, my son has a soft spot for his ex-wife....." REALLY????? She is a beast, has bipolar, and smokes 4 packs a day and is a alcoholic!!!!!

Please keep us updated I would love to know whats going on now in 2013!

Curls, I know this was in 2007 but how are things today in 2013? What a horrible story! I thought there were bad MIL's out there but I think yours takes the cake. If someone did that to my daughter, I would have had the police/charges all over this.

Are you still with your husband, how is your daughter doing, is the MIL alive and still in the picture? I see the flowers had different plans, you go girl!

Update us and tell us what is going on.

My mother-in-law cut my daughters hair to when she was just a year and a half old and threw the baby hair away. Then i asked her not to cut her hair and she kept doing it and lied about doing it. she is my daughter I think I know if her hair is shorter. My husband wont stand up to her nor does he even believe me her hair was shorter. He dint say anything to her about cutting her hair. I found out that She smokes pot and drinks like a fish every day and I had, had enough so I said, I didn't want my daughter going over there with out us anymore. So my mother-in-law turned me into children authorities. And then i found out that my husband was lying to me about talking to his mother and he was talking bad about me all the time. Then his grandmother turned me into children authorities. My MIL plays such head games that she had my husband believe I was mentally ill and that I was incapable of taking care of my daughter. She is such an evil women my husbands father wont even come to our daughters birthday party or any family function we have if his mother is invited. She has called me and threatened to kick my *** more then 3 times and has had her other son and her daughter also call and threatening to kick my ***. My hubby just sits back and lets her treat me this way. She has also threatened to have my daughter taking away from me. I am a wonderful mother and she knows it more so then she was from the stories I have heard from many of her family members. 54 years old and it seems this women has never grown up. I try my best just to think of her as being a mental patient since I use to work with them but when children authorities are called then that makes it really personal!

She sounds like a nut job! My MIL is always talking about our daughters bangs "being in her eyes" and will pin them back and do things that just....well....get under my skin, but this is a whole new crazy!

We no longer (well for right now until things change) talk to my mother in law you and your husband should really talk about taking a break from her.... this is your moment you should take it while you have it!

It's settled. Those flowers are history.

You should have called the police and filed a report. If she feels comfortable doing this what the hell else is going on that you don't know about.

Two words AMEN and UHAUL.



Get as far away as you can and NEVER talk to any of them again.

This is so bizarre... Things happen for a reason, you can now distance them.

It's good that you did your best to fix the situation. You went over to clear the air, set boundaries and establish a healthier relationship. They blew it. A blessing in disguise. Let them go. It sound like your husband is supportive, stick together.

What a crazy *****! Sorry you have to deal with that

that house is not safe for your children dont you ever leave them there again!!!!!!!!!you should of called the cops on your father in law stay away from them stay close to your kids and your family if you have them near you sell the house if you can and move far away you dont want to raise your kids like this there going to think its normal when its not who knows what your mother in law tells them about you guys when your not around.there not to be trusted!!!!!!!!!

I´m amazed at your self- control and respect you for that. I would have got the scissors and cut off the *****´s hair and said "see how you like it!

My MIL got a professional to cut my daughter's hair without consulting me and the cut was awful! I wanted to keep her hair long so she was at the in-between stage but my MIL kept going on and on about how it'd grow back (not even acknowledging it was an awful hairful!) It's been 1 year since that incident and eventhough she knows I get angry whenever she takes my daughter for a haircut she still does it and her excuse is ALWAYS the same damn thing; it'd grow back.



Just because she can't keep her hair long, doesn't mean every other female in the bloody family can't. Oh, she's been harping about me getting my hair cut too because I look awful with long hair.

I'm so sorry for you! I am having a rough time with my vile devilwoman-in-law too. The problem is that they never see that they are the problem.

If I were you that would be the end of all contact. I wouldn't see her again and the children would only be able to visit supervised. This post makes me mad at the dog that is my in law.



I'm so glad there are others with the similair problems so we can share our experiences together.

My mother in law is a sociopath psycho... I don't know what to do anymore. She has always been controlling. Calls non stop. Can't stand the fact we are on a different schedule than hers. She calls me when I am at work and asks me where I am why don't I have dinner done. She then calls back an hour later and asks why my kids are not in bed at 6:00. She is a drunk and in the past a very bad drug addict. My husband has been through so much with her and still manages to be the most wonderful kind father and husband anyone would dream for. Last summer I caught her driving drunk with my kids and then when I called her on it she got mad at me like I made her get drunk and drive with my two kids in the car. She started calling more often and every time was verbally abusive. I got sick of it and went over there and had it out with her. She still will never admit she has ever done anything wrong in her life even though she just had to pay an attorney thousands of dollars to get her 5 bench warrents removed. She started spreading fabricated rumors to everyone in the family about my husband and I turned everyone against us. If she found out I baught a pair of shoes she had to go that same store that same day and either buy the same pair or see how much they cost. If I make a good meal and my husband makes a comment about I know what's for the dinner the next night. The same thing that she is going to bring over that she made. This last Thanksgiving my husbands brother came into town and then everything hit the fan. She told him her stupid fabricated stories about us and when they questioned us about it we told him what was really going on and then they questioned her. It called her bluff and she just denied everything. Well, what we are saying does not make any sense to anyone. What she does or why because they are normal and she is a pyschopath so because it is so far fetched they believe her. Well, it kept getting worse and worse and she called and because we would not answer the phone left a voicemail telling us she was reporting us. We started laughing and were thinking report us for what? Well we never thought it would be what it was. The next thing we know my daughter is being called out of classat school by a social worker from DCFS. What? That terrible woman called DCFS on my husband and I. You should of heard the rediculous fabricated BS she told the social worker. She met with my husband and I at our home not announced and we told her what was going on and she could clearly see non of anything she said was true and the report came back unfounded. My mother-in law should have had her kids taken away. My husband almost was. What nerve does she have. The worst thing is that she is so screwed up in the head that she get's gratification from doing these things. She get's a bigger and bigger kick when it get's worse and worse for us. The more damage she does the more gratification she get's. The bottom line in that when she found out we were not playing the game anymore and the time was up she black balled us. We are now her target and everyone else are her pawns. I don't know what to do now. Where are our rights here. People that are crazy can make fabricated allogations and involve the law, say and do whatever they want and what we just have to sit here and let her do it. What can we do to protect us and our family? I should not have to put up with this. Not talking to her just makes her do it more. Last night she called over and over leaving nasty messages for my husband. Telling him what b#$# I was and she was going to sue me for harrassment. She is the harrasser and has been not me. I can go on and on over the past 15 years with true unbelievable stories about that woman. It sounds like we all have similar stories here so does anyone know what to do about it. I am standing up for myself and I not going to back down. I have not anything to deserve the way she is treating me or my family and I am tired of it. All I did was make her accountable for what she was doing. Driving drunk with my kids and calling us over and over harrassing us is not acceptable and that is why it all of a sudden got so bad. In the past we would have backed down and continued to play her games. I am not ever going to do it again. I am scared of what she will do next. I need to proctect myself and my children. What do you think? What should we do?

I watched a documentary on stalkers and there was a story about a woman just like this. Apparently it's pretty hard to prove that someone is stalking you. You should record every incident of harassment. Maybe talk to someone in law enforcement. It seems like her behavior is escalating.

well since he pulled a gun on you ... you have a VERY good excuse to never see them or allow them near your kids again. She did you a favor because now your husband will not argue about it

wow!! I lobe hair too and if my mother in law cut my sons hair I would go mental let a lone a girls hair, my god no respect.

Then pointing a gun in your face is just beyond me, this must be America? I dont know about how you guys deal with people with guns but I live in Aus and if someone pointed a gun at me, they would be in Gaol (Jail) for a long time.

You and your family are better off without them, for the safety of yourself, your husband and your children. Take care xx

Sorry, but cut hair is a call to Social Services and the cops. Psycho-**** needs to be charged with child abuse (it IS a crime, just see the recent cases of the Amish hair-cutting attacks!) And when FIL pulled a ******* GUN, all bets would've been off. I'd have been on the phone with cops and raising such cane that the whole neighborhood would be out there to see them! I know this is an old post but maybe this will influence future victims in what they should do.

I had a grandmother do the same with me as a child....it became more and more that my grandmother did....and she did it to upset my mother...by the time I was about 12 years old...I was not aloud to be left alone with my grandmother....

It started with hair and then it because telling me thing about my mother and then I would tell my mother...which cause the bad interactions of my mother and grandmother...you need to get your husband and family on the same page...you don't want it to go much farer.

You are very lucky your husband supports you. She is like my MIL she has everybody brainwashed to believe her.

Wow I just remembered my son went to sleep by my inlaws and when he came home, saw something different, only after he showered at night, did we notice that his hair was shorter...now my father in law is in a wheelchair, so that rules him out and she was the only one in the house. Now she once did it to my nephew, as she to,d h he has rats tails, so the joke in the family is not to send kids to sleep by her, unless u want a haircut. Seriously speaking it is outrageous, the best thing u can do is not to stoop to her level, have pity on the woman who cannot change...

My MIL cut off my sons blonde ringlets two days ago while my wife and I were in the hospital and coming home the next day with our next child. She said he was sweating and it would help cool him down (we live in Brisbane and it's middle of summer). She lives in Argentina and is staying for another 2.5 months and my wife often agrees with her over me her husband, moreover my MIL thinks I should be thankful she's there for the "help" she provides and won't apologize unless I apologize to her about something she perceives I did wrong to her.

My MIL cut off my sons blonde ringlets two days ago while my wife and I were in the hospital and coming home the next day with our next child. She said he was sweating and it would help cool him down (we live in Brisbane and it's middle of summer). She lives in Argentina and is staying for another 2.5 months and my wife often agrees with her over me her husband, moreover my MIL thinks I should be thankful she's there for the "help" she provides and won't apologize unless I apologize to her about something she perceives I did wrong to her.

OMG what a story. Why the hell is it that as DIL's we have to put up with such daily troubles. Just once in 16 years of being with my husband have i answered her back and she has vowed to never see her grandkids again, i mean totaly fine by me but its not like i can say to a 6 and 4 year old that their gran is a *****. Please dear god when my sons find girlfriends/ wifes please don't let me turn into a monster in law!

Pointing a gun at you is definitively unacceptable. That alone is reason enough to cut all ties with them. Your MIL's treatment of you is also unacceptable. I would definitely cut all contact. You are more than justified to do so. Cutting your granddaughter's hair is not as big a deal. It will grow back. My mother used to have my grandmother cut my hair. Like you, I also love long hair and hated getting the pixy cuts. People used to ask me if I was a boy. However, I knew the reason my mom and grandmom wanted me to have it cut was that my hair got knotty when it got long, and I hated brushing it. I swore I would never cut my girls' hair. Imagine the shock when I found out that two of daughters wanted to get their hair cut, and my granddaughter? Well, she cut her own hair short at the age of 5.



BTW, I realize the OP posted years ago. This post is really for those who come along and are having similar experiences.

Your parents in law sucks. I am sorry for you having them around you. It is 2011 and years passed since you wrote that. I wander how is it going on now. Did your conflict with your mil influenced negatively to your relationship with your husband?

I also hate my mil more than anything. She has no respect to me , to his son (my husband) and her grandson (my babyboy). She smells like hell and talks against me to others. She pretends she is good to me in a company , and I hate her for being so fake.

I'd make her a nice batch of home made fudge made with exlax.. that should keep her out of your hair for a day or so!!!!!!! Then go to her house, pour out a bit her favorite body spray and fill it back up with urine.. always a nice smell on someone after a couple days sitting on the counter brewing. You could put a little nair in her conditioner!!!!!! MAYBE I AM EVIL!!!!!! I these are only a few things I'd like to do to my MIL