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The Day My Mother In Law Cut My Daughters Hair

My dghter had a beautiful head of blond curls.  But while I was at work my monster in law cut my 3 year olds hair for no apparent reason.  She cut her hair without asking anyone.  And to be more mean she waited till my father in law was out with my son where he could not stop her!  This has very much upset me and I would like some sisterly advice on what I should do to return the wonderful favor in which my wonderful monster in law has done to me and my dgter!

My husband was furious as well.  Hair is a big deal to us.  My hair is waist length.  My husband does not even like for me to trim my hair.  My dgters hair was something we had discussed and said we were not going to cut it ever until she decided (many years from now) to cut it.  My husband confronted my mil over the phone.  He was furious.  He says he will make sure the whole family knows what she has done.

This is not the begining of her maddness.  Lets go back to ........ 8 years ago .........3 weeks before our wedding..........the church was booked......the tuxs were sized and rented ......the wedding dress was in the closet......mind you we had been planning this wedding for 9  or 10 months.........and we had just had dinner at my ( "future"  in laws house) and I was helping my ("future") mother in law wash dishes.  When she informed me that her son( my "future" husband)  would not be getting married and that he would live with her forever.  What could anyone say to that?  That she is nuts.......yeah but we have established that already..... To keep the peace and not ruin our wedding,  I just put the dish that i had in my hand down and walked out. 

After we were married we had bought a fixer upper house,  my mil waisted no time telling me where i put everything and what color it should be. She even rearranged my stuff. If I had it one way she thought it should be another.

BUT THE ALL TIME KICKER IS THE DAY I WAS TO HAVE MY FIRST FAMILY DINNER IN MY FIRST KITCHEN........MY HUSBAND AND I HAD REMODELLED THE KITCHEN COMPLETEY (NEW EVERYTHING).  I HAD PURCHASED A VERY EXPENSIVE SINK AND IT HAD JUST BEEN INSTALLED( BY MY HUSBAND AND MY FATHER IN LAW.  WE WERE ABOUT TO SIT DOWN AND EAT .........WHEN I COULD NOT EVEN BELIEVE MY EARS........MY MOTHER IN LAW ASKED MY HUSBAND HOW HIS X WAS...........AT MY VERY FIRST TABLE ...........AT MY VERY FIRST FAMILY DINNER.....THEN AFTER DINNER SHE TRIED TO RACE ME TO MY NEW SINK TO WASH DISHES FOR THE FIRST TIME .......WHEN MY FATER IN LAW TOLD HER TO STOP THAT THIS WAS SOMETHING I WANTED TO DO.....SHE SAID I JUST WANTED TO HELP...

EVEN TODAY SHE NEVER MISSES A CHANCE TO ASK HOW MY HUSBANDS X IS OR WHAT SHE IS DOING NOW.  SHE HAS TOLD ME THAT THEY WOULD STILL BE TOGETHER IF IT WERE NOT FOR HER( MY HUSBANDS XS FAMILY).

WHAT SHOULD I DO TO MAKE THIS SITUATION BETTER?  MY MOTHER IN LAW LOVES HER FLOWERS.  I WONDER IF SHE WOULD LIKE IT IF I WENT OVER THERE AND CUT THEM ALL DOWN WHILE SHE WAS NOT THERE? OR MAYBE JUST TRIMMED THEM A LITTLE?

Of course I have more self control than that,  but it is very hard to deal with a mil that is that crazy.  I know that what comes around always goes all the way back around.  And the second time around it is not so sweet!!!!  Life is short........and anyway I have 2 wonderful kids to raise.  I can avoid the monster in law.   And I know her maddness will eventually be gone with the wind. 

I ALSO KNOW THAT IF MY MOTHER IN LAW TRULY LOVED HER SON AND HER GRANDCHILDREN THAT SHE WOULD HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR HER DAUGHTER IN LAW.  SHE VIOLATED HER GRANDDAUGHTER AND THE TRUST HER GRANDSON HAD FOR HER.  NOT TO MENTION THE TRUST HER SON HAD IN HER TO PROTECT AND CARE FOR HIS MOST PRICED POSSESSION ----HIS BABY DAUGHTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

06-15-07

 I could not deal with it anymore.  Last night I went over there to talk to her (mil).  My father in law would not let me see her.  He ended up pointing a gun at me.  It is now over I WILL NOT EVER SEE EITHER OF THEM AGAIN.  THAT WAS VERY WRONG.  HE WANTED TO KILL THE MOTHER OF HIS GRANDCHILDREN....  MY HUSBAND IS FINISHED WITH THEM TOO.  WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS????

 

 

curls curls 26-30, F 83 Responses Jun 9, 2007

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I have cut my inlaw out of our lives also. Its been 2 years. Two year without them has been heaven. BUT they have lied and spread crap about me to so many people that they are still in control in many way. My mil also cut my daughters hair. and LIED and said she didnt. DUH. She really thought we were all that stupid that when you drop her off and it not cut and we come back and it is cut. and my little girl told us all about it also. She is the biggest liar i have ever met. .I hate her to deeply for 1000's of reason. I cant think of one thing i will remember good about her when she dies. I have been with my husband for 26 years. and married for 23. I have noone else in my life that i hate like my inlaws. I still have to deal with them. They BOUGHT the house next door to us. yup you heard me right they now are at that house daily fixing it up to sell or rent out. BUT we are very concerned they are going to get someone in there they know so they can keep an eye on us for ever. I am so proud that my husband now sees how crazy his parents really are. we have put up and HUGE 9 foot tall privacy/wall to block them out.. we put it right on the properity line. I would think that would give them a clue to leave us alone.. you reall need to stay away from them. maybe move to a different state even. You need your freedom from them. you really do.. we are thinking about moving also if someone moves in the house next to us they know. I feel you pain. i have been there for WAY TO LONG...

Honestly this is what I do. Shut her out completely. Your husband needs to back you 100% on this block her number if she shows up call the cops dont let her see the grandkids let her know her son is YOURS and if she doesnt treat you or your children right she has no business in your live post a note on your flor saying this eventually she will try to come over and see it and ENFORCE eventually she will have to kiss Ase or be treated like one

I have a mother in law just like yours

Sorry to hear that proudmom. The writers story is extreme and the only savings grace for her is that her husband is on the same page. Like another poster to this story, her husband is sticking with the mother. That is hard. When MIL's do extreme things, and the son goes along with the mother, well the story will eventually end bad--divorce.

My husband's ex-wife is an alcoholic and she causes us much distress. The MIL thinks we should put up with this madness because she is the mother of my husband's children. All kids are in their 30's and I see no reason for the ex-wife (while she is drunk) to continue parenting when the kids are adults! The ex apparently does as she says terrible things to "my" husband about me and my family (even though I am very nice to her--well until recently-I drew the lines)swearing at "my" husband and calling him horrible names. Meanwhile, the MIL says things like "well she is the mother of his children, my son has a soft spot for his ex-wife....." REALLY????? She is a beast, has bipolar, and smokes 4 packs a day and is a alcoholic!!!!!

Please keep us updated I would love to know whats going on now in 2013!

Curls, I know this was in 2007 but how are things today in 2013? What a horrible story! I thought there were bad MIL's out there but I think yours takes the cake. If someone did that to my daughter, I would have had the police/charges all over this.

Are you still with your husband, how is your daughter doing, is the MIL alive and still in the picture? I see the flowers had different plans, you go girl!

Update us and tell us what is going on.

My mother-in-law cut my daughters hair to when she was just a year and a half old and threw the baby hair away. Then i asked her not to cut her hair and she kept doing it and lied about doing it. she is my daughter I think I know if her hair is shorter. My husband wont stand up to her nor does he even believe me her hair was shorter. He dint say anything to her about cutting her hair. I found out that She smokes pot and drinks like a fish every day and I had, had enough so I said, I didn't want my daughter going over there with out us anymore. So my mother-in-law turned me into children authorities. And then i found out that my husband was lying to me about talking to his mother and he was talking bad about me all the time. Then his grandmother turned me into children authorities. My MIL plays such head games that she had my husband believe I was mentally ill and that I was incapable of taking care of my daughter. She is such an evil women my husbands father wont even come to our daughters birthday party or any family function we have if his mother is invited. She has called me and threatened to kick my *** more then 3 times and has had her other son and her daughter also call and threatening to kick my ***. My hubby just sits back and lets her treat me this way. She has also threatened to have my daughter taking away from me. I am a wonderful mother and she knows it more so then she was from the stories I have heard from many of her family members. 54 years old and it seems this women has never grown up. I try my best just to think of her as being a mental patient since I use to work with them but when children authorities are called then that makes it really personal!

It's settled. Those flowers are history.

You should have called the police and filed a report. If she feels comfortable doing this what the hell else is going on that you don't know about.

Two words AMEN and UHAUL.<br />
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Get as far away as you can and NEVER talk to any of them again.

This is so bizarre... Things happen for a reason, you can now distance them.

It's good that you did your best to fix the situation. You went over to clear the air, set boundaries and establish a healthier relationship. They blew it. A blessing in disguise. Let them go. It sound like your husband is supportive, stick together.

What a crazy *****! Sorry you have to deal with that

that house is not safe for your children dont you ever leave them there again!!!!!!!!!you should of called the cops on your father in law stay away from them stay close to your kids and your family if you have them near you sell the house if you can and move far away you dont want to raise your kids like this there going to think its normal when its not who knows what your mother in law tells them about you guys when your not around.there not to be trusted!!!!!!!!!

I´m amazed at your self- control and respect you for that. I would have got the scissors and cut off the *****´s hair and said "see how you like it!

My MIL got a professional to cut my daughter's hair without consulting me and the cut was awful! I wanted to keep her hair long so she was at the in-between stage but my MIL kept going on and on about how it'd grow back (not even acknowledging it was an awful hairful!) It's been 1 year since that incident and eventhough she knows I get angry whenever she takes my daughter for a haircut she still does it and her excuse is ALWAYS the same damn thing; it'd grow back. <br />
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Just because she can't keep her hair long, doesn't mean every other female in the bloody family can't. Oh, she's been harping about me getting my hair cut too because I look awful with long hair.

I'm so sorry for you! I am having a rough time with my vile devilwoman-in-law too. The problem is that they never see that they are the problem. <br />
If I were you that would be the end of all contact. I wouldn't see her again and the children would only be able to visit supervised. This post makes me mad at the dog that is my in law. <br />
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I'm so glad there are others with the similair problems so we can share our experiences together.

My mother in law is a sociopath psycho... I don't know what to do anymore. She has always been controlling. Calls non stop. Can't stand the fact we are on a different schedule than hers. She calls me when I am at work and asks me where I am why don't I have dinner done. She then calls back an hour later and asks why my kids are not in bed at 6:00. She is a drunk and in the past a very bad drug addict. My husband has been through so much with her and still manages to be the most wonderful kind father and husband anyone would dream for. Last summer I caught her driving drunk with my kids and then when I called her on it she got mad at me like I made her get drunk and drive with my two kids in the car. She started calling more often and every time was verbally abusive. I got sick of it and went over there and had it out with her. She still will never admit she has ever done anything wrong in her life even though she just had to pay an attorney thousands of dollars to get her 5 bench warrents removed. She started spreading fabricated rumors to everyone in the family about my husband and I turned everyone against us. If she found out I baught a pair of shoes she had to go that same store that same day and either buy the same pair or see how much they cost. If I make a good meal and my husband makes a comment about I know what's for the dinner the next night. The same thing that she is going to bring over that she made. This last Thanksgiving my husbands brother came into town and then everything hit the fan. She told him her stupid fabricated stories about us and when they questioned us about it we told him what was really going on and then they questioned her. It called her bluff and she just denied everything. Well, what we are saying does not make any sense to anyone. What she does or why because they are normal and she is a pyschopath so because it is so far fetched they believe her. Well, it kept getting worse and worse and she called and because we would not answer the phone left a voicemail telling us she was reporting us. We started laughing and were thinking report us for what? Well we never thought it would be what it was. The next thing we know my daughter is being called out of classat school by a social worker from DCFS. What? That terrible woman called DCFS on my husband and I. You should of heard the rediculous fabricated BS she told the social worker. She met with my husband and I at our home not announced and we told her what was going on and she could clearly see non of anything she said was true and the report came back unfounded. My mother-in law should have had her kids taken away. My husband almost was. What nerve does she have. The worst thing is that she is so screwed up in the head that she get's gratification from doing these things. She get's a bigger and bigger kick when it get's worse and worse for us. The more damage she does the more gratification she get's. The bottom line in that when she found out we were not playing the game anymore and the time was up she black balled us. We are now her target and everyone else are her pawns. I don't know what to do now. Where are our rights here. People that are crazy can make fabricated allogations and involve the law, say and do whatever they want and what we just have to sit here and let her do it. What can we do to protect us and our family? I should not have to put up with this. Not talking to her just makes her do it more. Last night she called over and over leaving nasty messages for my husband. Telling him what b#$# I was and she was going to sue me for harrassment. She is the harrasser and has been not me. I can go on and on over the past 15 years with true unbelievable stories about that woman. It sounds like we all have similar stories here so does anyone know what to do about it. I am standing up for myself and I not going to back down. I have not anything to deserve the way she is treating me or my family and I am tired of it. All I did was make her accountable for what she was doing. Driving drunk with my kids and calling us over and over harrassing us is not acceptable and that is why it all of a sudden got so bad. In the past we would have backed down and continued to play her games. I am not ever going to do it again. I am scared of what she will do next. I need to proctect myself and my children. What do you think? What should we do?

I watched a documentary on stalkers and there was a story about a woman just like this. Apparently it's pretty hard to prove that someone is stalking you. You should record every incident of harassment. Maybe talk to someone in law enforcement. It seems like her behavior is escalating.

well since he pulled a gun on you ... you have a VERY good excuse to never see them or allow them near your kids again. She did you a favor because now your husband will not argue about it

wow!! I lobe hair too and if my mother in law cut my sons hair I would go mental let a lone a girls hair, my god no respect. <br />
Then pointing a gun in your face is just beyond me, this must be America? I dont know about how you guys deal with people with guns but I live in Aus and if someone pointed a gun at me, they would be in Gaol (Jail) for a long time.<br />
You and your family are better off without them, for the safety of yourself, your husband and your children. Take care xx

Sorry, but cut hair is a call to Social Services and the cops. Psycho-**** needs to be charged with child abuse (it IS a crime, just see the recent cases of the Amish hair-cutting attacks!) And when FIL pulled a ******* GUN, all bets would've been off. I'd have been on the phone with cops and raising such cane that the whole neighborhood would be out there to see them! I know this is an old post but maybe this will influence future victims in what they should do.

I had a grandmother do the same with me as a child....it became more and more that my grandmother did....and she did it to upset my mother...by the time I was about 12 years old...I was not aloud to be left alone with my grandmother....<br />
It started with hair and then it because telling me thing about my mother and then I would tell my mother...which cause the bad interactions of my mother and grandmother...you need to get your husband and family on the same page...you don't want it to go much farer.

You are very lucky your husband supports you. She is like my MIL she has everybody brainwashed to believe her.

Wow I just remembered my son went to sleep by my inlaws and when he came home, saw something different, only after he showered at night, did we notice that his hair was shorter...now my father in law is in a wheelchair, so that rules him out and she was the only one in the house. Now she once did it to my nephew, as she to,d h he has rats tails, so the joke in the family is not to send kids to sleep by her, unless u want a haircut. Seriously speaking it is outrageous, the best thing u can do is not to stoop to her level, have pity on the woman who cannot change...

My MIL cut off my sons blonde ringlets two days ago while my wife and I were in the hospital and coming home the next day with our next child. She said he was sweating and it would help cool him down (we live in Brisbane and it's middle of summer). She lives in Argentina and is staying for another 2.5 months and my wife often agrees with her over me her husband, moreover my MIL thinks I should be thankful she's there for the "help" she provides and won't apologize unless I apologize to her about something she perceives I did wrong to her.

My MIL cut off my sons blonde ringlets two days ago while my wife and I were in the hospital and coming home the next day with our next child. She said he was sweating and it would help cool him down (we live in Brisbane and it's middle of summer). She lives in Argentina and is staying for another 2.5 months and my wife often agrees with her over me her husband, moreover my MIL thinks I should be thankful she's there for the "help" she provides and won't apologize unless I apologize to her about something she perceives I did wrong to her.

OMG what a story. Why the hell is it that as DIL's we have to put up with such daily troubles. Just once in 16 years of being with my husband have i answered her back and she has vowed to never see her grandkids again, i mean totaly fine by me but its not like i can say to a 6 and 4 year old that their gran is a *****. Please dear god when my sons find girlfriends/ wifes please don't let me turn into a monster in law!

Pointing a gun at you is definitively unacceptable. That alone is reason enough to cut all ties with them. Your MIL's treatment of you is also unacceptable. I would definitely cut all contact. You are more than justified to do so. Cutting your granddaughter's hair is not as big a deal. It will grow back. My mother used to have my grandmother cut my hair. Like you, I also love long hair and hated getting the pixy cuts. People used to ask me if I was a boy. However, I knew the reason my mom and grandmom wanted me to have it cut was that my hair got knotty when it got long, and I hated brushing it. I swore I would never cut my girls' hair. Imagine the shock when I found out that two of daughters wanted to get their hair cut, and my granddaughter? Well, she cut her own hair short at the age of 5. <br />
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BTW, I realize the OP posted years ago. This post is really for those who come along and are having similar experiences.

Your parents in law sucks. I am sorry for you having them around you. It is 2011 and years passed since you wrote that. I wander how is it going on now. Did your conflict with your mil influenced negatively to your relationship with your husband?<br />
I also hate my mil more than anything. She has no respect to me , to his son (my husband) and her grandson (my babyboy). She smells like hell and talks against me to others. She pretends she is good to me in a company , and I hate her for being so fake.

I'd make her a nice batch of home made fudge made with exlax.. that should keep her out of your hair for a day or so!!!!!!! Then go to her house, pour out a bit her favorite body spray and fill it back up with urine.. always a nice smell on someone after a couple days sitting on the counter brewing. You could put a little nair in her conditioner!!!!!! MAYBE I AM EVIL!!!!!! I these are only a few things I'd like to do to my MIL

Omg my moms mil drives us all crazy we are forced to live with her and all she does in criticize us all and tell us how things should be done and my mom or my dad never stand up for me (i am 14) because they are afraid to get kicked out. Sometimes she does nice things but then she turns around and compares us to our cousins and for an entire year called me fat then started crying when she found out how mad i was getting over it!! thin drives me insane. I just got over cry for the past hour because of it all.

OMG. Reading all your stories makes me shiver because I know EXACTLY that this is what's expecting me. Me and my boyfriend have been together for three years and we're planing to get married in the future. I HATED his mother even before I met her! I'm really a 'don't judge someone before getting to know them' kind of girl but this biyatch makes me so furious that I literally want to punch her in the face. My boyfriends parents had a really rough marriage which is why he left his home at the age of 14 and moved to his grandparents place. He told me he did this because he couldn't stand being around his mother and his grandparents are really nice and cute people. She is an antisocial depressiv person who constantly blocked all sorts of social contact for her husband and her son. My boyfriend wasn't allowed to have friends over as a child (for me that is so horrible because my childhood is full of memories of my mom throwing me birthday parties and pyjama parties and all that!) and whenever his father had planned to meet people or invite people for dinner she made a huge deal out of it and freaked out. I mean you could almost say that she's afraid of other people. Her life is really pathetic in my opinion. Now she's divorced and she doesn't have any friends or any relatives that she talks to and she just goes to work and comes home every day where she has tons of pictures of her son as a baby lined up which she looks at all the time. It's almost psychopathic. She has all his baby pictures and once I realized I had never seen childhood pictures of him so I asked him if he could bring me some to look at. She freaked out and said she would never give them to anyone and I was like geez ok no big deal.... ^^ so because he's the only thing she's got in her life, she tries to clinge on to him like a maniac and gets really weird. When me and my boyfriend are together or on vacation she CONSTANTLY sends text messages like 'baby, don't forget to brush your teeth.' ... 'baby, make sure you eat right, ok? ' ... 'baby, try to get enough sleep.' blablabla. It FREAKS ME OUT! I mean like come on am I exaggerating or isn't it a BIT psycho to send your grown *** son these messages every ******* day??? Once we were at his place.. and ..ehemm. getting intimate. So the phone rang and it was already late at night at you know.. we were busy.. so we just ignored it. It rang and rang and rang all the way until the end. And then again. And again. And again. This person called like 6 or 7 times in a row and let the phone ring all the way each time?! my boyfriend finally got really pissed so he got up and answered the phone like 'WHAT?!' and of course.. who else could it be but his mommy.... it was no emergency or anything she just called out of the blue. that's so pathetic I'm just like 'get a life.'. Also, she constantly sends him messages like 'you always talk to her why do you never talk to me' she's seriously jelous that is so weird and it makes me really furious. I mean she's acting like a total freak no one wants to be around her her own son left when he was a 14 year old child because he couldn't take her anymore her husband dumped her (he is the sweetest man on earth and he is super nice to me I love him!) and instead of trying to take a real look at herself and observe WHY her life is so pathetic she does all this weird **** to get attention. Wake up woman, he's not your little boy anymore. <br />
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Now that I got into writing it down, I'm getting more and more angry. We were together for 2 years and NOT ONCE did she want to meet me. I met all of his family father grandparents aunts uncles even distant cousins and stuff. They are all so sweet and they immediately wanted to get to know me and invited me to family gatherings and stuff . They made me feel really good and welcome. My parents were the same way, they wanted to know him of course. His mom though is acting like he's still a ******* toddler and asks him if he brushed his teeth. I mean a person sooo concerned about their child would want to get to know their partner with whom they're spending 80% of their time, right? Such a phony stupid *****. <br />
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Without ever meeting me, she was already talking behind my back about such ridicilous and childish things I don't even know where to start. He had a picture of the two of us as his facebook profile picture. She was appearantly stalking him on facebook (because he never accepted her friend request or anything he doesn't want her to know too much about his life) because she saw it. The picture was sooo harmless we were on the beach and I was just hugging him from behind. And she called him like 10 times and terrorized him into changing it. He refused and told her to mind her own damn business so she called his father (with whom she's been separated for like 6 years, talk about psycho *****??!!) and told him to 'speak to his son'?! He also found the situation ridicilous and told her the same thing. I mean it is a ******* fb picture it's not like we put a sextape online. It's so pathetic that a grown *** woman is making such a big deal out of something so dumb. I swear to god she imagines I took her only son or something. So then she got really furious and sent him a text msg (which I later saw!) saying ' Put that picture down. It is so disturbing how this girl is clinging on to you like VERMIN (!)'. and i'm like whaattt? the woman hadn't even SEEN ME PERSONALLY at the time?! of course he didnt change the picture. <br />
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So then there's other stuff like the two of us were going on a skiing vacation with my family and she sent him msg like 'I don't want you to go with those people (!). You didn't ask me before that's not acceptable. If you go I'm gonna get really mad. ' and everything was already booked and paid for like flights hotel everything. I mean this woman works at a pathetic job his father always took care of ALL his needs his grandparents ran for every school thing his mom didn't do **** for him why does he need to ask her (we were like 17 at the time) it's not like she's gonna pay for his skiing trip to Italy. weirdo. <br />
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It's been like 3 years now and she still didn't want to properly meet me :) I know she sais **** behind my back but I decided not to think about it. In my opinion she is a pathetic woman who needs help and who doesn't deserve my attention. I pity her. My plan for the future is to always stay on top and make sure that I act very intelligently in order to keep her out of our lives. My boyfriend defends me ofcourse but if I said all this to him he would get really mad. It's his mother after all and he believes I need to respect her. Which is why I will pretend like I'm all nice and she's the evil ***** and just shut her out. There's been a looot of things other than what I wrote here but if I wrote it all this post would be pages long (which it already is, I know :D)<br />
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I know that next to the problems that you guys explained this is probably nothing but I know there's a lot more to come.... :D<br />
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still, I love my fiance to death he's the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me and I'm not gonna let this woman get between us because that's exactly what she wants.

Got cut them flowers off girl.

You are a ******* bat **** crazy *****. Your mother in law probably cut your daughters hair because little kids don't give a **** about hygiene and you probably never brush it. It was probably a nasty tangled rat nest.

You must be her MIL!

I have put up with my mother in law for close to 40 years. It took me almost 20 to stand up to her. I do not let her bully me or intimidate me anymore. But my husband, her son, still will not stand up to her. He could do so, in a loving, but firm way, but he still choose to let her manipulate him, bully him, be nosey, and try to run is life and then he complains to me and pouts about it for days after he sees her or talks to her on the phone. I do not feel one bit sorry for him, because he is 60 years old now and if he would only speak up to her and tell her to stop it, she would. I do not take her crap anymore, so she does not dish it out to me anymore. He takes it and allows her to treat him like he is still a little child and to treat him with no respect, so she still does it. If you let someone treat you a certain way, they will continue to do so. What is it with these men who can't stand up to their overbearing pushy Mom's? Do you know the Mom on Everybody Loves Raymond? That is my Mother in Law...only worse!!! Yes!!!! My husband would say that all the time! We would watch that show and he would say, "My Mom could do that part and she would not have to act. In fact she would have to tone it down a lot. They would have to reign her in." Believe me he is not exaggerating! I was raised by a good country cook and not bregging, but I and all three of my sisters are good cooks. But everytime my Mother in law came to our home to eat and if my husband or one of our children complimented something I had made, she would say, "Well, it is okay, but it would be better if she had done ........., or if she had made it the way I always made it." It never failed for her to say that!!!! Finally we moved out of state for 11 years. It was the most wonderful time to live 9 to 10 hours drive from her! YES!!! There were many times that we visited back home and did not even let her know and did not visit her. Even my husband, her own son, did not want to go visit her! But after his job ended in that state, we decided to move back to live near our two grown children and three grandchildren. But I made it clear to my mother in law that if she ever came to our house for a meal, she better not complain about one thing she ate, because if she did, she would never be invited to eat at our house again. It worked, she has never complained again!!! You have to set rules and boundaries with her, just like you do with children! She used to blame me that she did not have a relationship with her grandchildren. I let her know it was not my responsibility to form a relationship for her with her grandchildren, that was for her to do. She never complained to me about that again. I never put it upon my children for me to have a relationship with my grandchildren. That was and is my responsibility and I have a great relationship with them! To this day, my Mother in law does not have much of any kind of a relationship with our children, her grandchildren, because she never tried to have one. As my husband said, "She did not know how to be a Mother, so how could she know how to be a Grandmother?" AMEN! I still wish that my husband would stand up to her and set boundaries. It can be done without being done in anger. He should have done it years ago, but it isn't too late. He lets her walk over him and she does not respect him as a man, nor treats him as a man. It is disgusting to me. So I have no respect for her at all. I do not hate her. But I do not like her. I just tolerate her. <br />
As for my daughter in law. I love her. I think she is a wonderful person, wife, mother and Christian. She is sweet and treats me well. I am pretty sure that she likes and loves me. I have tried extra extra hard to not be anything like my Mother in law!!! My husband and I go on a week's vacation every year with our son, daughter in law and grandson and have done so for the past 14 years. We share a two bedroom condo for a week. We all have a great time. My daughter in law and I shop together, decorate together and do other things together. I cannot imagine doing any of those things with my Mother in law!

i think you are better off without these 'out-laws' they sound dangerous, and a bad influence on your family and their well being...leave them alone - they only have ill wishes for your future with their son - everyone deserves a family, be glad you have one safe of nutbar grandparents that could alter their thinking of their own mom....every family also has their differences, they dont need negative input from meddling old people who disrespect the son and wife...by disrespecting you -they have disrespected their son.....hope he sees that too.

the first time i met my mil was when i was 24....we had out own apt and she came in like she owned the place immediately on sight she hated me with a passion did not shake my hand when i had mine out to greet her, . it changed me and hubbys relationship instantly. we became very distant with each other. she was planning her wedding and didnt invite me on the mailed invitation or to any of the luncheons...she told him to bring a date, but not me. then she insisted i was running out on him and stealing his money (none of it true of course). he came home from one of the lunches and said he couldnt be with anyone his mother didnt like. i said ok, i'll move. we moved out reluctantly, but still dated. when he got his new apt he invited me to live with him, i said no way your mom wont approve. the first time we lived together she threatened to punch me in the stomache if i got pregnant. 6years later after all that we ended up getting married to her dismay. when she started asking for grandkids after warning him he will get the 7 year itch...she told me to make sure i do sit ups as soon as i find out im preggers to keep my shape, dont worry i know better. dinner party after dinner party at her house was disgusting to me, not the food her demeanor- my hub finally decided she was disrespecting me at every family get together...he hasnt spoken to her in almost 9yrs but broke down and called her on mothers day. i wont be seeing her but i told him he could. but hes not sure he wants to see her either. she is the most terrible person i have ever met in my entire life -i have no desire to ever see her again -we have no kids, too many stresses in our relationship due to her in everyway imaginable. but we remain happliy married without her in our lives. i know if she enters our lives again- we will be doomed. she told him when he spoke to her after 9years that i was the other woman that stole him from her....my point exactly

hmmm, i accidentally deleted my own comment! lol! anyway, i'm kind of glad because i should have used fewer words!: the spirit of a sound mind comes from being joyful, & when a person isn't, they do GOOFY things...that always involve darkness, rather than light! if you can see that a person must be quite sad to do silly dishonest stuff, it will help you forgive them, which is SO important! but not necessarily spend time with them until they can get Happy & not Goofy! we all have lots to learn down here! (:D

i don't know if my opinion will go down well when you're all so upset. but here's how i see it: there are two spirits warring in this world, Love & a Rebellious Opposer. Love will take you to a place of truth & light! but since He is polite & gives freedom, we have to choose to listen & ask for His powerful help. that Other Guy is a weak usurper so he always wants everything in the dark, where things start to be very sad & fearful. people get ashamed & just don't want to admit when they are in that place! so it's hard to deal with them! plus no one is perfect, there's always some fault on both sides! the person who starts it can quickly be surpassed by the one who takes offense & reacts over & above! but we all know how much it stings to admit one has messed up! i reckon yours is one of those cases where someone pointed a gun when they felt powerless & lost for ideas, not necessarily because they intended to kill anyone. you guys all got off to a bad start that seems beyond repair...but there is One who can repair anything if you wish it! (:D that WAS pretty sneaky the way your hubby's mom cut your child's hair...that's certainly darkness! but when you tell us these things from your perspective when she doesn't know, that's darkness too. i have difficulties with family members also, because they Choose things that are bad for themselves & others involving this darkness principle, & my own choice is to pray for them but not seek their company. they have stuff to learn (so do i) & i'd rather know that my company is precious & desired, as it certainly is by my Creator. so i guess my further advice is to make sure you have met Jesus who can at least make your Future Bright & give you strength to carry on without certain family relationships until Everybuddy wants them to prosper! (:D love & blessings, aardy

If you open your eyes, this is all jealousy which is in all women. Just wait and ask your daughter in law to find out how monster you are. Women only think of themself and of course they can not even get along with themselves. They make the life of the hausband hell and of course every body else.<br />
Why is it women always having problem with each other? I glad you are tasting a little of who yourself are!

i have been going through this..not as long as you..but it sure feels like it. my mother in law likes to tell my daughter who is 18 months how ghetto her mother is and how i fill her with hate. she likes to call my daughter an animal, and as bad as i want to tear her face off i make sure to keep a cool head for my daughter. <br />
<br />
you dont need to have people like that in your or your familys life. they dont deserve to see your children grow up. i feel that of i let my daughter grow up around my MIL she will have some of her characteristics. <br />
<br />
and be proud of yourself for having self control not many women in your situation can remain lady like and let it roll of their backs. i have a lot of respect for you and i am here to talk when ever you need it.

Wow, I am so so sorry you have to put up with that. My MIL had my son's beautiful curls cut of right before our wedding! UHGGG...I feel your pain! Are things any better now?

omg shes so meannnnnn

You should tell your husband to deal with this, but in no uncertain terms. It is his mother who is crazy and his father who pointed a gun at you. He should be the one to tell them that they are out of your lives forever.

Your girl's hair will grow really thick and luscious because she cut if off. Wait until she is out cut her flowers and make a huge bouquet out if it , take it to a florist and have it delivered with a note telling her never to touch the physical integrity of your child ever again.

They both sound "BAT SHI T CRAZY" Glad you have them both out of your life!

She's a crazy beast, you need to let God handle her, just pray that he will remove the devil from her heart..*inserts lean in to whisper*FYI,If I were you I would have "trimmed" her flowers..*...But as for you FIL pointing a gun at you, I would have called the cops on both...He would have had his fair amount of time in jail or prision..also get a restraining order, and sew them both..You need to just pray like I said cause God will handle him and their bitterness will eat them up for the rest of their lives..Cause inventually they will regret not spending time with their grandchild...if they really care...People like that get nowhere in life..<br />
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Sorry for rambling on.But God Bless!

My MIL cannot come up with a reason why she hates me. She just says it's many things! This is the most frustrating thing about it, it's all for nothing. I have been married to my husband for over 20 years and we have two wonderful children. We have a good relationshiip with each other and our kids. I have been told that my MIL hates any attractive successful women. If I was overweight, lazy, and didn't have a good job she would like me just fine. We have not talked to my MIL or FIL for over two years since a discussion about whats wrong with me ended the relationship. My husband stood up for me and she could not stand it. The sad part is she has destoyed her relationship with her son and she doesn't even care! When will she realize she is the loser here? She has lost her son and her grandkids and for no good reason. My husband has alot of anger towards her and my FIL now. What can I do to help him get past his resentment towards them?

My name is Amy - I am an associate producer with a production company in NYC. I was just reading your post and I wanted to let you know I am currently casting a new show for A&E about people having issues with their in-laws. After reading your post, I think your family might benefit from our series. If you love your in-laws but want to learn to adapt to each other’s way of life- and become closer, this is the show for you! Families on this show will have the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to work with a professional relationship expert to help your family understand each others way of life. I would love to hear more about your situation... Please shoot me an email at amy.cummings@leftfieldpictures.com or call me! 212 564 2607 ex: 2339 Thanks and good luck with the fam! Amy

My name is Amy - I am an associate producer with a production company in NYC. I was just reading your post and I wanted to let you know I am currently casting a new show for A&E about people having issues with their in-laws. After reading your post, I think your family might benefit from our series. If you love your in-laws but want to learn to adapt to each other’s way of life- and become closer, this is the show for you! Families on this show will have the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to work with a professional relationship expert to help your family understand each others way of life. I would love to hear more about your situation... Please shoot me an email at amy.cummings@leftfieldpictures.com or call me! 212 564 2607 ex: 2339 Thanks and good luck with the fam! Amy

You are so lucky your husband is on your side, the way it should be. Could you imagine the rage and hatred you would feel if he minimized everything or even took his mother's side? Things could be worse.<br />
Look on the bright side. They are finally out of your life.

Just move to another country..far away from the family of ur husband! A lot of independent family can get their succes by getting away from their own family..Always remember that ur husband & ur children are always be yours!

Funny that last comment respect goes both ways, I've always been respectful to my MIL. But her snide comments and the way she blames me for her sons mistakes has really got to me. My daughter is my daughter she has my DNA and my families DNA as well. What right does that give her to tell me how to live my life, you've had your turn in raising your child/children give your daughter in law a chance to raise hers, we all learn from our mistakes. Your best intentions maybe that but you are still demanding that your grandson be raised the way you want him too, you also have to realise your son chose to marry you DIL and he loves her and his son. Your telling your DIL to grow up, but you yourself can not even see anything from your DIL point of view and you are older and more experienced so you should know better, calling her cuckoo is very maturer.<br />
An ego trip is not the problem here she is the boys mother no matter weather you like it or not, respect her wishes they may not be right they may not be the way you like it, but you'll end up the one losing so will your grandson. Children are innocent in all this you have to also realise he loves his mother and seeing his grandmother attacking her is going to hurt him even more. I myself do not hate my MIL but she interfears a lot in our lives when we take the help she gives us she complains, then if we choose not to take her advice or anything else she offers she complains we can't win. But we try not to let this affect our daughter because we know she loves both my MIL and FIL and they love her just as much. You say in you last paragraph treat your mother in law as a PERSON, not a CHARACTER ROLE in YOUR life who's out to get you - you've both got meals to cook, dishes to wash, children to raise, hair to cut and family life to enjoy!<br />
Maybe you should also look at the way you treat your DIL and be there for her but stop judging her if she gets it wrong, remember you were young once and I'm sure you made a lot of mistakes as well how did your MIL treat you? You may have some insight to how your DIL feels.

Belive me , I know how you feel.<br />
My daughter also has a MIL from Hell.<br />
Stay far away from both your MIL and FIL.<br />
They are dangerous hateful people.<br />
<br />
Good riddens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cut the flowers.

owh god, i can not, can NOT stand my mother in law anymore. I literally do not know what to do anymore. I just want to throw her off the planet. I have so much hate for her it isn't even funny anymore. I wonder why i had to chose my husband who had to have the friggen crazy/psychopath mum. Why me??

owh god, i can not, can NOT stand my mother in law anymore. I literally do not know what to do anymore. I just want to throw her off the planet. I have so much hate for her it isn't even funny anymore. I wonder why i had to chose my husband who had to have the friggen crazy/psychopath mum. Why me??

owh god, i can not, can NOT stand my mother in law anymore. I literally do not know what to do anymore. I just want to throw her off the planet. I have so much hate for her it isn't even funny anymore. I wonder why i had to chose my husband who had to have the friggen crazy/psychopath mum. Why me??

owh god, i can not, can NOT stand my mother in law anymore. I literally do not know what to do anymore. I just want to throw her off the planet. I have so much hate for her it isn't even funny anymore. I wonder why i had to chose my husband who had to have the friggen crazy/psychopath mum. Why me??

oh man i am so glad i came on to this site tonight. i was about to go crazy from my mother inlaw.......... i just had enough. my mother in law also cute my girls hair....... lies,............snoops in my house when i am gone, steals from me, talks bad about me. told me to abort my son who had a 1 percent chance of having something wrong with him. (he was fine and a healthy boy) and then went to a right to life banquet to support other women. oh man i could go on all night. i am so sick of her. and so sick of my husband not standing up for me...........

oh man i am so glad i came on to this site tonight. i was about to go crazy from my mother inlaw.......... i just had enough. my mother in law also cute my girls hair....... lies,............snoops in my house when i am gone, steals from me, talks bad about me. told me to abort my son who had a 1 percent chance of having something wrong with him. (he was fine and a healthy boy) and then went to a right to life banquet to support other women. oh man i could go on all night. i am so sick of her. and so sick of my husband not standing up for me...........

DH needs to step up to the plate. And tell Fil and Mil what your boundaries are. No cutting hair, no guns! No asking about x. (if there is news she needs to know, he will tell her! ) no disrespect to you set the boundaries Now!!!

Hello

I hope to God that you have not laid eyes on either your FIL or your MIL. That is one sick woman ! Her problem is: JEALOUSY ! Plain and simple.

Ooooooooo! Your story has just made my blood pressure go up! And I thought I had it bad!<br />
Yes! YES! CUT ALL HER FRIGGING FLOWERS! EVERY ******* ONE OF THEM! And then, CUT HER OUT OF YOUR LIFE! PERMANENTLY!!!!!!<br />
Why do you allow this crazy, evil woman into your lives? I think your husband should fully understand why you'll be cutting her out. No explanation needed. It's damned obvious.<br />
Don't worry, your daughter's hair will grow. She'll get it back. What your MIL will NEVER have is you and your daughter's respect and love. She knows it. <br />
Make sure your daughter never forgets what her mad, bad grandmother did to her. If she truely loved her grandaughter, she'd never had done that.<br />
Your MIL is pissed because you have your husband, her son. She can say whatever she likes...You'll still have his ring on your finger. Not her or his X!<br />
Don't stop your husband from meeting her. She'll use that against you. Don't ever give her any ammo. Change your mobile number and never give it to her. Just keep your distance and refuse to acknowledge her. Cut her out of your Thanksgivings and Christmases. Don't show her any emotion. Just make it like she doesn't exsist for you. This will drive her CRAZY! She won't be able to get to you if she can't meet you. This is the way it will have to be until she finally meets her maker.<br />
Good riddance to bad company I say!

My mom in law cut my hair on new year. I have beautiful long hair and she said she'd trim it and she chopped it all off and i had to go to the hairdresser to get it fixed and even she couldn't fix it becauseshe said "it looks like a crazy person cut your hair" An after that SHE was the one who acted all hurt when my husband told her never to touch my hair again. I know how it feels.<br />
And pointing a gun at you. Thats the final straw. They are freakin crazy!

Oooooooh!<br />
If my MIL did that to my child's hair I'd F******g give her what for!

I have very little self-control but I'd likely have killed her. <br />
<br />
My son is my life. I adore him. I cut his hair myself and no one else will ever touch it if I can help it. I also cut my own hair and I hope to pass that on to him. I firmly believe that we should have complete control over our appearance.<br />
<br />
I'm actually a man. I have had waist-length hair, before. I cut it to the small of my back a few weeks ago. I always keep it trimmed and healthy. I just love the way hair feels.

Your FIL pointed a gun at you? Stay away from them both they are psychotic. Holy crap!!

There is no use crying over spilled milk, just be glad it grows back.<br />
<br />
I agree with yours and your husband's decision to keep these people out of your lives- it just sounds like your MIL hates you, and your husband has a new family now, you and your child come first.<br />
<br />
IF (and I doubt this will ever happen) your MIL wants to reconcile, your husband has to flat out tell her she must apologize to YOU and him for her behavior and that if she tries to ask about the ex again, do something to your child/children without permission, and so on, then she will be cut out from your lives completely.<br />
<br />
And if it does happen, stick to it.<br />
<br />
I count my blessings each and everyday that I love my MIL. I am sorry you have to deal with this- what is it with women hating their DILs?!

She sure sounds sick in the head.<br />
<br />
But what is the difference? You have to know how to protect yourself.<br />
<br />
I just saw a little ebook, "How To Get Rid of Your Annoying Mother In Law with some great practical tips to stay sane with a "sick" MIL. Take a look at it at www.valuable-family-relationships-advice.com/mother-in-law-3.html <br />
<br />
Some of his ideas helped me, (although, thank heaven they weren't as severe as your's sounds) and hopefully they will ease your situation too.<br />
<br />
Good luck,<br />
Brad

How Fu*ked Up Is That??? Seriously!!

I think that you did right by not retaliating. I have a monster in law as well! She also cut my daughter's curls off too and she has NOT liked me since the day I said :I Do!" I am glad that you don't have to deal with her anymore. I am also remodeling our first house and it was ONLY supposed to take a month and it has been 7 going on 8 and I get into fights with both my mil and my husband about stupid little things. I cook for the family and clean and do laundry and anything else they ask me to do, and yet I still don't get notice.

You should cut HER hair while she's sleeping. Or, as wisdil said, mow down her garden (if she has one). Say you were cutting her lawn as a favor, and it was an accident.<br />
<br />
Oopsie.

No, it's a nice thought to retaliate, but in reality it doesn't accomplish anything.

You're better off without sick people that that in your life. Cut them out of it. Permanently. Get a restraining order if need be.

Stand your ground. Protect your children. Keep them and yourself away from this woman. She has violated your trust BIG time with you and your children. It is her fault that she has lost her privilege to spend time with her grandchildren, not yours. As for your FIL pointing a gun in your face......not good at all. Your husband would be pissed off if it were your father pointing a gun in his face. When making a argumental point.........always tell him what if the situation were reversed? And I did not stand up for you? You would be pissed off!<br />
<br />
Sounds to me that your MIL has major insecurity issues and could be jealous of you. Mine is apparently jealous of me.

I just experienced the SAME THING! I am furious to the point of eruption.<br />
<br />
My SIL took my long, strawberry-blond, ringlet covered son for the weekend. She decided to give him bangs because, "his hair was in his eyes."<br />
<br />
Rather than call me to ASK, then proceed, she crossed the boundries by cutting his locks. Then when I confronted her, she said, "Well, don't send him back with hair in his eyes." *insert jaw-dropping emoticon here."<br />
<br />
To make matters worse, I requested that my DH speak with his sister and the rest of his family, as they have always taken too many liberties, but touching my child is where I draw the line. He has implied that I'm overreacting, as his hair will grow back, but does not see why I'm fuming over this.<br />
<br />
Whew...sorry for the rant, but this is a recent experience and hurts so badly.

Yes it is criminal. It's an assault

Wow, sounds like neither of them needs to be around your children. It makes me sick to think that a FIL could point a gun at his DIL. As for your MIL cutting the hair, she should have known better, shame on her (of course I don't know if I could stop myself from "trimming" her flowers while she was out!) I think you are right to steer away from both of them!

She is trully a weirdo I wonder what your husband thinks about all of this. It sounds like he somewhat defends you, but if he did why did you feel the need to tell her off yourself?

She sounds like a crazy *****.. <br />
<br />
solution: you're house doors, and keep an alarm on when you're out of the house.

I know what you are going though because i when though a lot more than this and i hated my mother in law for three years. i would not forgive her. i hate in my heart and i was a christian. My mother was a christian and she keep telling me i had to forgive my mother in law. one day she show me in the bible that change my mine. MARK 1:26 was the turning point in my life. I went to her and ask for her to forgive me for hating her. after that she was not mi mother in law, but my best friend. we as christian sin every day but jesus can not forgive us unless we forgive others first. <br />
Don't worry about your father in law you do what Jesus wants you to do and Jesus will take care of him. may God bless you and your family.

I have a monster in law as well. i have had zero contact with her for MONTHS because she just infuriates me to homocidal levels.<br />
<br />
I just have to pray and pray and pray. and im not even religious. <br />
<br />
She also cut my sons hair. His first haircut and she did it with no permission. We wanted our sons hair long. He also had cute strawberry blond ringlets. <br />
And I have heard him call her momma. <br />
I really want to choke from how much I hate her.

that happened to my oldest daughter and both my husband and I went postal on her . It's not good to fight but cutting hair without parents permission is not good .

My MIL did this to our middle daughter as well. She was only 3. Her little shirly temple curls were just hitting her sholder. When questoned as to why she cut her hair. She told us it was to curly and outta control. Idk about any of you. But, my baby girls hair grew back straight as a bord. Those pretty little curls gone for ever!!!

It sounds like your MIL is envious of youth and innocence. To cut your daughter's hair without consulting you or your husband is something truly vile. To protect yourself and your daughter, I advise you cut her out of your life completely. You nor your daughter are required to have a relationship with her. From this point on, I would let your husband deal with her by himself.