MIL Does Not Make An Effort to Know Me.
My fiance and I have been together for two years and we are getting married next week. He is a wonderful man who has class. manners, and tact. His mother is a different story.
Throughout our dating process, Mary never once made an effort to get to know me, to ask any questions directed at me, or make an effort to learn about who I am. When I walk into this women's home, she does not even say "hello" or acknowledge my presence. She is not engaging in conversation, but rather rambles about her life and her kids, and her job. She has no tact...the first time I met her she talked about sex and farts at the dinner table. Classy.
My fiance has mentioned to her that she needs to make more of an effort in getting to know me, as I am the most important woman in his life and also his future wife. She had made no such effort. We took a pre-marital class at the church and had to send our parents marriage surveys. Mary has been divorced twice and her love life is one hot mess. Her survey was not only inappropriate, but not taken seriously. One of the questions was "why do you think I am a good partner for your son"? Her reply was "I don't know you well enough to answer this question". Obviously she has made no effort in getting to know me.
I am a very friendly, talkative, and open person. I make an effort to reach out and get to know others. I happen to think she is jealous and sees me as a threat. My fiance is the only child in the family who has an education, job, and is making something of himself...he's the only "stand up guy" in the family.
Now that we are married, she is taking the #2 spot and not happy about it. She has no boundaries and does what she pleases because she has no husband and the kids are out of the house...she does what she wants when she wants. I do not feel welcomed into the family by her...she has already overstepped her boundaries twice with me...both times I put her in her place (with kindness) and made it clear these are my boundaries, and you are not to cross them.
Can anyone relate or give me some kind of advice? I really want to have a fantastic relationship with Mary, but it's as if she does not even care about me. I've made several efforts on my part, but it's been useless.