MIL Is Coming to Our Honeymoon

Fiance and I have planned a destination wedding out of the country in Antigua. (We are also having a reception upon our return to the US). We put the invitation out that if anyone wants to attend the ceremony they are welcome. Keep in mind, we have booked our wedding at a couples only resort. (MIL has been divorced a few times and is currently without a victim, er, I mean partner). MIL tries to book a room at the resort for her and her other son (who is 15 yrs old)...but obviously they are not a couple, so she is denied a room. When this happened she was royally pissed! Inside it made me feel a little happy when she was denied.

We are in our late 20's so we have a few of our close friends coming along with us to the wedding/vacation...we are all the same age and married. MIL decides she still wants to make the trip. MIL will be terribly out of place, and can't even get a room at the resort...so she decides to stay at another resort on the island with 15 year old brother. My parents and Fiance's dad and step-mom are both not going for the same reason: they feel our honeymoon should be cherished by us, and our time should be spent with one another, not spent entertaining family. 

Fiance and i have made it clear to MIL that we are not spending any time with her and little brother, we are there for our honeymoon. She had all these big plans for us to hang out as a "family". The best part is because they are not staying at the resort and little brother is underage, they must leave the resort grounds immediately after our ceremony is over...ha ha. So I will only have to put up with her for 15-20 minutes. She spent thousands of dollars to make this trip...and she isn't even allowed on our resort after we are married. And I'll be damned if we step foot off the resort to meet her.

I am still however worried that she might try and get Fiance to leave the resort for some "family time". I told him if indeed he leaves me to spend time with his mother, I will have his *** in marriage counseling so fast when we get home it will make his head spin (Fiance understands this). She has no boundaries and is selfish, she does whatever she wants, whenever she wants. I just need to vent here...has anyone else had this happen to them? What mother in their right mind would want to go with her son and his future wife on their honeymoon!?!?!

 

 

 

 

Linszw5v Linszw5v
26-30, F
3 Responses Jun 15, 2007

I am having this issue right now. My wedding isn't for a whole year yet, but my MIL keeps coming up with places we can go for our honeymoon, assuming she is going with. My fiance doesn't seem to think this is odd.. but I think this is because he is the only son..can I say mama's boy...which their is nothing wrong with that. However, we do everything with his family..I never go on vacation with mine because we are to busy going on vacations with his. We been together for six years, and we have never gone on a vacation just the two of us. :( To me, Honeymoon-means spending time with your husband/wife...no one else. It's a time to share your love and celebrate your marriage with each other. I'm just not sure how to handle this situation. I do not want to be sleeping in the same area as my MIL. How am I supposed to celebrate my love for my husband if his mother will be in the way.

My husband booked our honeymoon @ a place that was closeby to where both his parents were lodging on vacation...he insisted we go by to see them, have lunch with them, and shop with the. It still blows my mind to this day. Very odd. A honeymoon is for the newlyweds...or so I thought.

Eh? I think your MIL is being invasive. I hope your fiance will back you up. It sounds as if she has major issues letting go. Your soon-to-be brother in law is probably in hell. It's entirely inappropriate for her to accompany her newlywed son and daughter-in-law on their honeymoon. Maybe your fiance could talk to her so you don't end up looking like the "bad guy." She certainly isn't starting out on the right foot with you! <br />
That said, do not let anyone ruin your wedding or honeymoon. If she's lonely, frankly-that's not your problem. She should realize she's only alienating herself from you, and it could be a very good thing to have a loving daughter-in-law who doesn't resent her. <br />
On a lighter note, Congratulations! =)