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Newest Infomation Crazy Mil Again Part I

This is a SUPER LONG EMAIL that I sent to another member, and I thought it sums up many of the issues I have NOT shared, so I pasted it here for some input! Thanks to all who offer words of wisdom! MY MIL has been a crazy BEEOTCH since I met her. She started out trying to pretend that she was nice, but I had my suspicions because she was always complaining about her family members never wanting to help her out and how she always bitched about everyone she hangs out with, even telling me very personal things about her private life that she should NOT have shared; inappropriate things... then as my husband (not at this point my husband yet) began to change and become less like them (they are uneducated and refer to themselves as, "hillbillies"), he began to use correct grammar and speak about relevant things like world issues, politics, and things he read...all heck broke loose! She started to attack me and indicated that I think I am better than them because I am educated..during one of our first big blowouts, she went off on me and then when I had taken enough (I felt it inappropriate to go off on her back, I defended myself but no more), I stopped answering her calls, then she began to FILL MY ANSWERING Machine with nasty, YELLING, vicious messages, one thing she was saying was that I had my husband (to-be at the time) "wrapped", that I "got him so wrapped he does whatever you say, and you control him and tell him what to say and do..."etc. Then when I told him this, he called her to confront. She COMPLETELY DENIED THAT SHE SAID THAT and called me a liar and a psycho. Problem for her, is that she said it on our answering machine too, and said that it was "an UNTRUE FACT" that she had said that (hello, the previous message you said it ON TAPE!)... Then her husband came over to talk to mine and he stuck by her while at the same time saying things like, "you know how your mom is, you know she is not going to admit she's wrong, and we need to settle this", etc so basically let him know that while she may be wrong and start trouble regularly, our best bet would be to suck it up and let things go. WOW! That was 8 years ago, and since then she has done SO MANY things that I could write my own book. Up until 3 years ago, I tried my best to stand up for myself without being disrespectful, being that she was my husband's mother and all. Then things changed; we began talking about having a baby and I began to realize what her behavior may do to our marriage and our kid...it was summer and I was out to lunch with my brother in law's (now former) wife (her other son, the messed up one that she and her family constantly defend, pay for, subsidize, and support, meanwhile offering NO support to my own (wonderful and intelligent, great person) husband. Well, my MIL called my cell and asked if I wanted to go to Costco with her to buy her grandson a SpiderMan bike. She went on and on about the bike and how cool it was, how it was only $50 and etc... I of course did not answer as I was out to lunch, but played the message right then and then let my SIL hear it. She went NUTS, as they had directly told her NOT to buy him a new bike (I disagree with why, but it is their kid, not hers) because A) The SIL has twin girls the same age and they INSTRUCTED us to ALWAYS buy the EXACT SAME thing for all 3 or nobody got anything, and B) The boy's mother (of course was NOT the girl he was married to, in fact, the brother kicked the boy's mother OUT OF THEIR APT WHEN SHE WAS 7 MONTHS PREGNANT WITH HIS BABY) had said to their son, "ask your daddy to buy you a bike to keep over here at my house" Their point was, that if she wanted a bike for him she should ask not have their son ask and also that he paid child support while she did not work. So, the SIL called my BIL and he called his mom to again tell her NOT to buy the bike for aforementioned reasons. The MIL then told him OK. The SIL went over to her house for another reason and look what was in the trunk of her car? The SpiderMan bike. All heCC broke loose and she put me in the middle, claiming that she had bought the bike before they told her not to and that they cold even call me to verify, because I knew when when bought it a long time ago. This was IT! I stood right up to her and told her that no matter how ridiculous the rules they set for the kids, unless they put them at risk or anything, we were supposed to respect that because they ARE THE PARENTS! I then went on to tell her how if and when I had a child and I tell her something that my husband and I want or don't want, she had better not do it because I will go nuts on her and that will be the last time she has open visitation with our kid. Since then she had been relatively easy on us, just a total mental case but directed most of her evil toward the other DIL, only sometimes aiming it at me.
nilestheninja nilestheninja 31-35, F 1 Response Jun 15, 2007

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She a nutcase and I feel your pain. She feels threatened that you are changing your husband for the better. She doesn't like the fact that your introducing him to new and good things. She wants your husband to always remain the same, and for her to have complete control over him. It is obvious that she is jealous of your relationship and will try her best to cause tension between you and your husband.

The only way to handle her is to keep your distance. I suggest you don't call her much, if you can don't call her at all. I advise you visit her occasionally with husband, and never talk about your personal life to her- she will use it against you someday. If you are talking to her when you visit- be very indifferent towards her, only talk about meaningless things, like the weather.

All she wants is drama in her life and make your life miserable. She wants a reaction from you so she can feed off your angry and start a big argument- she will play the victim and will make you look bad. These people are called sadistic- they enjoy watching you suffer. Please do not respond to her insults and remain calm and keep your distance. I wish you all the best.