How I Feel Today Part II

When I got pregnant, we did not tell her because we wanted to wait until I was 3 mos along because we knew that she would run her mouth all over and (God Forbid) something had happened then we would be bombarded by people who never should have known in the 1st place. My husband chose to tell his Dad when I was 2 mos along, and asked him NOT to tell her for the named reasons. He did not tell her, and when we did tell her she went nuts that she was the last to know and our being about to have a baby became all about her(surprise!) and not once did she say anything nice to us. Since the birth of my now 2 year old son, I have tried super hard to create a healthy relationship with them for the sake of my son, I have invited them over a million times (THEY HAVE NEVER INVITED US OVER ONCE IN 8 1/2 YEARS, OR TO ANYTHING WITH THEM), and even allowed her to babysit a few times against my good judgement, and when my sitter quite with little notice I chose to have her babysit 1-2 times a week over a stranger, which she charged us for (YES, I said it!) all the while watching her other grandkids (even the 2 that were not genetically hers) for free, along with her friends' kids), and SO MANY TIMES I caught her doing rather minor but still damaging things to my son, but she always denied them and came up with lies. She gave him coffee regularly before he was a year old (I busted her when I found his Tshirt balled up in the corner with coffee stains on it), I wondered why she said he never took a nap for her (being that he was so young and needed and always napped for his other sitters), she left him unattended and drove him with the seatbelt incorrectly fastened. The last straw was when she told MY mom that she propped the back door open so that he could come in and out (hello, he was like 14 mos old) as he pleased, then later I let her take him to lunch, and I gave her $10 to buy him lunch and told her to play the claw game a few times. She took the money (of course) and then when she brought him back I asked what he had for lunch and she said that she "gave him a few of my fries". HEALTHY...and BTW, where's my money? Fast forward to now, about 7 weeks ago. She called my Mom who was staying w me because I just had back surgery and could not care for my son or get out of bed much. She called my Mom and proceeded to tell her what a bad wife I was, how I treat my husband like a boy and not a man, and how I was so disrespectful to my own mother (her other son talks to her worse than I would speak to an enemy, and I am not that bad even at my worst, to either of them, her husband even asked her why (when I was working full time and attending school to get my M.A.) why I was always making my DH lunches and had dinner ready, and since she did not work why did she not do those things for him), then when my husband called to confront her things just deteriorated from there. She then told him again how I "got him wrapped" and basically that he has no mind of his own and I control his thoughts, etc.. On and On... Last week she refused to accept the Borderline Personality Info we sent her and spent over 30 minutes on the answering machine (my husband's cell, cuz she's blocked from calling our home) and said things about me that I am SO desperately trying to forget...that I am bored and need a job and am trying to ruin their family, that I am crazy, that I am trying to train my husband to think HE is a "mentally challenged" person (because he had mentioned to his Dad that he read books and could trace some of his own personal issues back to her disorder and his childhood), and then went on and on about how I am mental and we are mentally abusing our son for keeping him from her, and even more things that you would not believe. Why us? How can she even think to speak this way about the mother or her grandchild, she did not even send him a card or a gift for his birthday, but we are the bad ones. I am going nuts, and trying so hard not to let it ruin my own life and tear apart my marriage... AAGGHH
nilestheninja nilestheninja
31-35, F
2 Responses Jun 15, 2007

Oh my God. First of all- the woman clearly does NOT know how to look after a child. Coffee in his FIRST year?! Leaving the door open?! And then she has the audacity to suggest that you are a bad mother...

I'm glad your husband is on your side though, and it seems that perhaps your FIL also knows what a monster she is. I hope things get better for you, and that you and your family manage to get away from her!

Gish, you really have a cross to carry & bear with that one.