Fed Up With Drama: Part 2

if you read my last stary then you remember me saying that my sil told me that my mil was "dying" or at least they thought she was. turns out that my mil has lupus...i feel bad for not believing. however, she is most certainly not dying. she told my husband that the life expectancy for someone w/ lupus is 10 years after they're diagnosed....um....thats not what i heard. i did a little research and found out that most people with lupus live long happy lives. attacks are triggered by the sun...if you avoid going outside in direct sunlight for long periods of time and wear sunscreen you should be fine. she has always had problems with the sun but she blamed it on allergies. when you have lupus and go out into the sun you get a skin rash...a nasty rash at that. the doctor told her she had dicortal lupus...the minor form of the disease. she is most certainly not dying. i am sad that she's sick but relieved that its not "fatal" as my sil put it.

moving on...mothers day was horrible.  my hubby had to work on mothers day so i just stayed home and hung out with my daughter. he ended up going to his moms the next day. she loves to garden but doesnt have an actual yard to dig up since she lives in a townhouse. so i bought her some very large flower pots and some seeds. i asked my husband to pick up potting soil on his way to her house( i had to work so i couldnt go with him....darn). i told him that the intention was for he and our daughter to plant these seeds with his mom. i thought it would be sweet. when i called on my break to see how it was going i was informed that she didnt want her gift. she said that she didnt need flower pots. that they were perfectly fine, she would just rather have something else. ARE YOU F"N KIDDING ME????? how rude!! i would never have the balls to do that.  I did the best i could to suppress the hurt and anger that i was feeling. i told her to look in the bottom of one of the pots for the receipt so she could take them back. she said that it wasnt there and could i please just take care of it. if i had been in that room with her i know i would have cried. i know i sound like a wus but how can someone be so rude. i just told her that i had to go and to work it out w/her son. she did. he ended up coming home with the pots. he told me later that our daughter was devestated. she kept yelling " no daddy those are grandmas" she was crying and kicking because he was taking the present she had picked out for her grandma. she's almost 3...how do you do that to your grand daughter?

about a week later i asked my mil to babysit. i figured enough time had passed and we could talk about what had happened before and set some groundrules. i was trying to leave my sil out of it but it was hard since i blame her for pretty much everything that happened before. we agreed on a few points and disagreed on a few others. i thought we had come to an understanding...at least until she started getting all hard saying things like "I DEMAND RESPECT FROM YOU" what i wanted to say was that respect was not something to demand, it was something to earn. because the truth is that i dont respect her or my sil( especially not my sil) that much. what i ended up saying was " i respect you but you dont respect me." i of course started crying and telling her how i feel that i get no respect as a parent from her or my sil and that i feel like they always go out of their way to do the opposite of what i say and ask. for some reason she started talking about how i dont show my parents any respect and she's worried that it will damage my daughter. i politely told her my family was none of her business and she had no idea what she was talking about.  my family is really laid back and easy going..we joke with eachother and tease eachother. my parents always gave my brother and i alot of freedom. my mom didnt spank us and guess what, we turned out ok. we never got into major trouble, we worked hard and we didnt have to lie to our parents about anything. we told the truth and went to them when we  had problems. dont get me wrong, they didnt baby us..we always had to take responsibility for our mistakes. now her household was different...she spanked them with wooden spoons, they walked behind her in a single file line w/ hands behind their backs and to her knowledge they were great teenagers. my husband has told me how untrue that fact was. they always got into fights and never told her the truth. they still dont. they are terrified of her. they still do what she wants when she wants it or there will be emotional hell to pay. yet i'm the one with the bad relationship with my parents. apparently i dont respect them because i tell them when they make me mad or when they are overstepping boundries...sorry mom, i turned out like you wanted me to.

our convo eventually turned to mothers day. she laughed about it. she said she felt bad but she didnt need them. i took the oppurtunity to tell her that she really hurt my daughters feelings and that we did not return them, they would be at my moms house on her front porch. i havent gotten the mil another gift and i'm not sure if i should. she asked for a gift card.

ktsm0m ktsm0m
26-30, F
2 Responses Jun 18, 2007

I wouldn't buy her a darn thing ever again. She doesn't deserve it after the way she hurt your 3 year old daughter like that. Some people just don't get it....

And I thought my MIL was bad.