Pregnant Prisoner

We just told my MIL that we are pregnant.  Before she was controlling and crabby and now it has increased.  She makes snide comments that really stab deep and then try to play them off as joking.  She comments on my diet, everything I eat or do.  The other day I just wanted to hand her my menu and ask her to order for me.  We just got back from a two day road trip with her and I did not think I was going to make it.

She treats my FIL very badly - criticizing him at every turn, yelling at him over trivial things and throwing fits.  I feel I need to stand up to her because no one else will.  When I confront my husband about her he just tells me that is the way she is and he and his family have just learned to deal with it.  I just feel like she has gotten away with it so long she does not know what she is doing. 

She has made comments about me as a mother, my diet, my son and our family in general.  It seems she is the only person in the world who is always right and does not have any negative traits.  Should I talk to her and if so, what should I say?

helpme helpme
31-35, F
3 Responses Jun 25, 2007

when my husband told his mom and sister that i was preggers they cried...not tears of joy. i got pregnant before we were married so they believed it was a plan to trick him into marrying me...yeah ok, he had nothing of his own, no money no car no house...if i was going to trap someone it would be a rich man!! anyway they were not happy for us.. my mil sounds so much like yours..she thinks she knows everything and she can do no wrong!!she is the most negative person i ever met but believes she is a happy positive person with no problems...i can name about 10 without bating an eyelash. if you try and talk to your mil about her negativity you might make things worse. if she rewally is like my mil she will be deeply offended and try to point out all of your flaws instead of focusing on your own. then your the bad guy..they never forget!! i'm not saying that she doesnt need a reality check but you might be the wrong person to give it to her. what about your hubby? is he in agreement with you? you have to make it very clear to him how much it means to you and maybe he can talk to her. if that doesnt work, maybe a family mediator. i think thats going to be my next step. how can they argue with professionals?

This is just the beginning of the end. As for me, none of my kids were "blessings" from the family. What do I know, I am such a disappointment to my MIL. She will always take over and ruin every birth event, holiday and birthday like the plauge, and like a good girl you will stay quiet to keep the peace and be graceful towards her until you learn that nothing you ever do will please a disparaging MIL. The best you can do is to do what you please and to have self confidence to never let her break your spirit or come between you and husband.

Your story sounds similar to mine. I always like shock therapy, tell them how the cow ate the cabbage and then wait. However, this is a risky choice since it will cause conflict for your hubby and you will be bad mouthed to other family members. You must ask yourself the two questions, "What do you hope to get out of it?" and "What price are you willing to pay?" Of course, you do have an excuse of being pregnant, hormones and all have been known to be unleashed on the most unwitting bystanders. Good luck.