I Snapped Back

I've been with my husband 14 years, and married for 2.  Since the first time we met my MIL expressed her disdain for me. My man along with his friends had told me what a wonderful person she was. That was not the same lady that I met! That hurt my man feelings because he don't know her to be that way, and couldn't understand why she treated me so badly.

I hated to tell him maybe it do to the fact that we're an interracial couple. She told me that "her son deserved better" when she hadn't even took the time to get to know me. She would make comments that were snide and off color when my man would walk into a different room or out of ear shot.

After about three years, she had her first chance to curse me out. I was helping him move out of her place. We deiced to try to living together, but I was going keep my apartment my place (just in case it didn't work.) but I guess she didn't know that. She called a know good black b****  that was just out for free ride. I wish that I would've made him go get his own cat. LOL

A little about me: I'm trying to control my anger issues. I have problems with authority. I'm not one to take mess of ignorant people. these are things I work on on a daily bases. I must say I've come a long way!

He ended up moving his mother across the courtyard from us for some reason or another. She then proceeded to try to turn his son against me. I've been around him since he was one years old. He would come back home and talk about some of the things she would say, but I would just ask him what he thought, he knew me, she didn't. He'd say that that's not what he thought about me, or that's not what he saw me to be like. Then he would wonder why his grandmother acted that way. At the age of 5 he took a stand. If she would start talking down on me, he would let he know he didn't like it and would come home. And he loves his grandma very much. I never want to come between that. I would try to encourage him to go back over to her house after he calmed down, but most of the time he would just say "no because she made him feel bad and just wanted to be with me".

Through all the years of being disrespected, I've held my tongue. Until last week. I've been telling my husband that I wasn't going to take anymore of her rudeness. We've moved and guess what? 3 months later she moved across the street. I understand that they are a close family. When we moved away from her last time,I would encourage my husband to go see her. Drop my stepson off and pick him up by her. But now, the woman has gotten to be intolerable. She didn't like her apartment. Said that it was to run down "for her" and liked my place better. She told me that there is only room for one woman in her sons life. That just made me laugh at her and asked her if that's the way she thinks it's going to be, where she plan on going? She told me to MY house! And to watch her. What nerve! She started acting like she was losing her mind. My husband didn't know what to do. He started to let her spend the night. When he's not she's sane but evil. When he is around, she's losing her mind, can't walk, and hearing voices. Mainly mine, talking about her. I told him that maybe she does hear me venting on the phone. Better the phone then her, right?

My husband sleeps on his couch in the living room. I sleep upstairs in my bedroom. We come together throughout the day. That works for us. I have my couch down there too, but couldn't use it cuz is mother slept there, lounged there, ate there making a mess. It soon got to the point that she started trying to rearrange my house! I have a picture table of family. The one of me alone, I kept finding it right next to the patio door! Over and over same place. Any further it'd been outside.

On our anniversary, it happened to be Memorial Day, she tried to ruin the whole week. We went to an BBQ with friends. Without her. She got mad that I made sure EVERYTHING was LOCKED! So as we're driving down our street, every other house, people are  running up to my truck yelling "YOU NEED TO CHECK ON YOUR 'MIL'" All the way down the street. So I drop my husband and stepson off at her place and then go to our house to check and let my dog out. They can't find her, and I find a shirt on the handle of the patio door all strecthed out, but not ripped. Made me just say HHMMM! So we both jump jump back in the truck to go looking for her. We find her walking from behind a truck. She had to be kidding me! She said that 11 girls "tried to jump her"! 11 come on now, I know she works out but she would've had a scratch, a bruise, or some blood some where right? Nothing! I found out from our neighbor that she had walked around with out her shirt on (she left it on my back door) that's why everyone was worried. We were suppose to go for a weekend get away  on friday. Instaed of two nights I only got one. And ended up leaving late at night instead of 3/4pm due to her drama. Thursday she came over to go to a frunarl, which didn't start until 7:30pm she came at 4/4:30pm in the rain said that she knocked trying to get in and I don't answer. (she was trying to get me in trouble again.) But, both of the house doors were unlocked (to my dismay).  So when my husband pulled up, she was lying in the garage. She said that she slipped in the driveway, rolled allll the way down the driveway then, aallll the way back up the driveway into the garage rolled around the garage to pick up $.67! DRAMA! Then she thought she could sit on my suede couch! A big HELL NAW! My husband hurried and got her a chair from the kitchen,  I can wipe that off, because for some reason she didn't want to go in the bathroom to get undressed. That's where the washer and dryer room is, off that bathroom. He said that she walked around fine that night until it was time to go. Then she couldn't walk no more my herself. So with him being concerned about how well she would be able to get around with us gone, he said that he would be more comfortable if we only left for one night. Whatever man!  But it's not worth it if all he's gonna do is worry about her so I fine. While he was out she tried to come up stairs while I was getting ready  listening to my music trying to get all ready for my hubby. I stopped her on the stairs every time! This is MY SPACE! DRAMA FREE ZONE! She has been wanting to know what I got up here for a long time now. When I have company they always come stright upstairs. I have three bedrooms but one is an dressing/sitting room. She thought that she could have that room by the way. Never gonna happen! I didn't want her to stay here while we were gone, but my husband felt better with her here due to her behaver during the past week. So I told him that I didn't like the thought of her snooping through my things. So I put everything in my room and locked the door. Yes! I have a lock on my door! He just swore up and down that she wouldn't have no reason to go upstairs and that she could hardly walk. Right! That's why she came up 3x's while he was out. He did ask her why was she going up stairs if she having trouble walking? When we got back from our little trip, she was so rude! She had moved my picture For the thousand time and tried to pick a fight with me again. I yelled at her that time about rearanging my house but never cursed her, not once! She cursed me though. My husband came into the dining room to see what the fuss was about. Then told her to leave my stuff alone, and to respect my home or go to her own place. She didn't like that. So when I came upstairs, I was in the bathroom when i heard her say in a really nasty tone, " You know she locked her door! You allow locked doors in your house?" he told her, "If she wants to lock her door she can, she can do whatever she wants, and yes ,I knew she locked it because she didn't want YOU IN HER ****! STAY OUT OF HER ****!" I was like WOW! guess he told her! I'm so happy I locked my door!

 She has a bad habit of waking around in her underware. And leaving her panties and clothes all over the back of my couch and thrown all over my downstairs. So I asked my husband to talk to her about it so we wouldn't get into an agruement. He told her like 3x's. One morning I went downstairs to find she must've washed some colthes out in my kitchen sink and laid her wet stuff all over everything, including my couch and large flat srceen monitor! I could've killed her! But I took the basket that she must've brought over earlier and put her stuff in it. When she got back, she still put a shirt that was damp on the back of my suede light brown couch! So I told her that I'd appreciate it if she found somewhere else for her stuff to go then thrown all over my house. She started cursing me out telling me that this ain't my house and I need to wait on her hand and foot, and go get a job. (MY husband makes enough money for me not to work anymore. And he don't is wife to work. Nothing's wrong with that in my book!) She told be that this is her house and she didn't want to use  "my ****" meaning the drying. I just told her that the couch she's sleeping on is mine that's why I don't want it messed up, so please put her wet clothes in the dryer on not on the couch. I also told her that Ihope she got cursing out of her system cuz that's the last time she had to get away with it! Then I left my house to go get my nephew.

When I came back in the house, she had hid my picture! I told her to get it! Here she goes again! Cursing me in front of my boy! I cursed her out like a sailor! Then she tried to SLAP ME! I told her that would be a mistake! I would hit her *** back! After missing twice, she tried to smash my picture on the floor. When I cought it, she got me! Right across the face, and scratching my nose! Before I knew it, I had pushed her into the counter pretty hard. Then she kept hitting and kicking me! I would just slap the back of her hand or leg letting her know she would not get the last hit, like a two year old. Next I came up here PISSED to call my husband and she left.

She tried to tell him that I cursed her first, and pushed her before she laid a hand on me. She asked him how could he keep a woman in his house that abuises and curses his own mother! I'm so happy that our relationship is strong and he knows me better than that. He let her that she should be happy she wasn't really hurt after she put her hands on me, that I was a fighter and might've knocked her out! He told her that "this is HER HOUSE" and she should be happy that she's allowed in "HER HOUSE" and she will no longer disrespect his wife in "HER HOUSE" or he would be the one to stop her from coming over.  Thanks honey.  :* But I hate to think of being the cause of bad blood with them. He told her that all he wants is to make me happy and having her here wasn't making me happy with me being crursed and disrespected in my own home.

Now he put her on some medicine becuase she must be crazy if she picked a fight with me. And really thought he would ever leave me.

I've been MIL free for 5 days, but she started coming back over. I haven't seen her, but he said that it seems like she's going crazy again. I don't like to see him going through this.

Any advic

crazylady crazylady
31-35, F
3 Responses Jun 27, 2007

wow..lol..that is some crazy bullshit!! definitely a nutjob. i havent had a physical altercation with my mil yet but i fear that it will happen. she has a habit of hitting people when they say things she doesnt like. i was warned about her before i even met her!! i've told my husband and her that she better watch out if she evr hits me or my hubby or our daughter..cuz i hit back!! it sounds like your hubby is in a hard spot, all you can do is stand up for yourself like you've been doing and he needs to keep standing up for you as well. i dont care to have my inlaws in my home since they disrespect me constantly but i dont stop him from going to see his mom anytime he wants. maybe tell your hubby that if he feels she needs that much supervision he should either spend more time over there or since he makes plenty of money, hire a nurse to spend time with her since he believes she has actual medical problems...see how she likes that!

I agree, you seem to have almost endless patience. At least your husband recognizes that his mother is trying to set him against you, and is willing to stick up to her. I hope you can figure out a way to live peacefully with her.

Wow! Wild story! You have the patience of a saint! If my MIL acted like that, I would have had it out with her long before, and if she touched me she would be flat on her @**!