I'm Helpless

my mother in law is making my life miserable. I came all the way frm singapore and married my husband whom we met tro internet. My husband  is 21yr old tis year and was still schooling therefore we do not have any income to stay on our own.  Although  my mother in law had always been very disapproving of our relationship eventually she accepted me, becaue she really dotes her son. But after staying wif her for nearly a year, i really couldn't stand her behavior anymore.

She like to enters our room without knocking, likes to talk to her son in front of me in their native language such as criticising my cooking rite in frm of me, and constantly emphasising to me tt his son and her haf the exactly same taste same preference and is so different frm me everytime out of no reason, worst is she is making me her personal assistance, making the excuse that her english isn't gd, she makes me handles all her stuff such as booking of appointments, paying of bills, applying for permits and look for a shop suitable for her to do business wich she never was satisfied, forcing me to accompanying her to all her medical appointment even tho now i'm pregnant and not feeling well. Recently, without my consent she even promised her friends that i will handle tasks for them, once i was slping when one of her friends bought her bf here asking me for some translation..  This is not my main concern, now tt i'm pregnant she keep emphassising that i need to gif birth to a boy which is stressing me out and since she came frm china she haf a lot of weird and unappropriate habits in lifestyle wich is so differnt frm me but yet she force me to follow suit (such as insisting that i use a scissors to cut my fingernails instead of nail clipper, that a pregnant woman shouldn't go swimming reason being the water is going to enter my womb and etc.. ), everytime i wanted to protest, she will says that i'm disrespectful of her. Eventually,  i tolerated everyting, since i  known that we are financially dependable on her, and i really love my husband, i do not wan to go back home jus bcos of her ,but now that my first child is cming i'm afraid tt she will enforce all her habits on my baby too ..She also constantly wan to compare herself to my mum (wich makes me more homesick) and also to me which is driving me nuts, for example, now that i'm pregnant she even  compare her weight wif me , feeling happy that i outweight her... argh..,, i really need to get out of the house but i can't get a job now that i'm pregnant and after i gif birth i need to stay close watch on my baby to keep my baby safe frm her.. Everytime my husband tries to stand up for me she will complain in tears to my father-in-law and husband's grandmother in china , wich breaks his heart, he also started to work part time to save some money for my our newborn but its always not enuff,  i can c he was really distress wif the problems btw me and his mum. I really tried my best to b fulfilled watever she wans but nomatter wat she is always not happy and always tries to cut me out of the family, my worst nitemare is that she will ****** my baby frm me next time, wat can i do ??

choco520 choco520
22-25, F
4 Responses Jul 4, 2007

Omg choco520 I feel for you. You need to get away from the in laws. What's the update? How are you guys?

You have to confront it....it is logical that you want to be with your husband all the time, you are newlyweds.....you should speak with your husband, never keep anything inside, you have to talk, do it in a way that makes him see your point of view, tactfully, but if he really loves you, he will definitely put you first.<br />
<br />
Good luck,

You have to confront it....it is logical that you want to be with your husband all the time, you are newlyweds.....you should speak with your husband, never keep anything inside, you have to talk, do it in a way that makes him see your point of view, tactfully, but if he really loves you, he will definitely put you first.<br />
<br />
Good luck,

I suggest you contact your family and see if you can go home before the baby is born. This will allow you to gather strength and you will relieve some of your feelings of being homesick. The only way for things to improve is for you and your husband not to be dependent on her financially. MILs seem to use money as a way to manipulate and control. Hang in there and good luck.