My Wife Is Too Attached to Her Mother.First of all, let me apologize for the long story. I just have so much to get out of my chest. So here we go.
My wife and I have been married for 8 years now and have two beautiful children together. We are a happy family when my MIL is not in the picture. My problem is that she's ALWAYS in the picture. My wife and I work two hours from home and don't spend as much time with the kids as we would like. That only gives us weekends to spend QUALITY time with the kids and of course each other.
My MIL lives at a convenient distance from us. Not too close, yet not far enough. She babysits the kids for us while we are at work (We pay her VERY well for her services). I appreciate the fact that the kids are being looked after by their grandmother. It makes me feel a lot better about working two hours from home.
I understand that she needs time to relax and be an adult. That's why I don't complain about not seeing my wife on Tuesday's and Thursday's when her and her mother go to yoga class together. I simply pick up the kids on those days, spend time with them and put them to bed. Then of course, after taking a shower and maybe reading a few chapters, I go to bed myself.
My MIL lives by herself. My FIL left my MIL because he couldn't handle the relationship between my MIL and her mother. Just to give you an idea of how the women in my wife's family were raised, my wife is one of three women of over 30 women in her family that are still married. Only three of us are still around hoping to cut the umbilical cord between mother and daughter. The women in that family were all trained from birth that mother knows best and that mother is the only thing that matters in this world.
Excuse my French, but that's bull $h!t. I agree that mothers are certainly very important in our lives, but they are not EVERYTHING in our lives. I love my mother more than most things in this world. However, I'm married now. I can't shove my wife's and kids' needs aside in order to make my mother happy.
I only have two days out of the week to spend QUALITY time with my wife and kids (keep in mind that we also have to mow the lawn, clean the house, do laundry, go grocery shopping and run other errands during those two days.) We don't have the opportunity to spend enough time as a family as it is. I don't want my MIL to be in the picture while I so desperately try to enjoy QUALITY time with my family.
This lady craves more attention than a 6 month old child. She's constantly complaining about being broke, tired and in pain. Let me add that she's only 51 years old. It's sickening to me how my wife falls for her manipulation.
I've spoken to my wife on a number of occasions and she always changes for a while. Then of course the MIL always manages to make my wife feel guilty. I can't take this situation any longer and even though I don't want to go this route, I'm seriously considering getting a divorce. I don't feel like I have a wife. Why stick around and pretend to the world that I'm happy.
technician4pc 31-35, M 52 Responses 0 Jul 8, 2007