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I Just Ignore My Mother In Law

As many of you may remember, I used to put up lots of postings in this forum.  Now I am much happier because I have discovered the best way of living with my evil mother-in-law: I JUST IGNORE HER!

What's the point of fighting with negative people like her?  I have better things to direct my energy toward! 

When my mother in law need help, which is very often because she is very useless, she had better be able to get a hold of her son...which is very difficult because he is a doctor and often on call and can't leave in the middle of work.  I just won't help her.  I have nothing to do with her.  She had made her feelings about me perfectly clear, and I feel there's no need for me to have anything to do with people who hate  me.

My marriage is MUCH better now that I have put my MIL out of my mind, and out of my life!  I no longer fight with my husband about her.  I don't care to know anything about how she is doing these days.  Even if I have holiday meals with her I feel no need to acknowledge her existance at the table.

For those of us who suffer from awful MILs: do what I do, I gaurantee that you will be much happier in life!  Afterall, it's more important for us to stay strong and take care of ourselves, rather than trying to compromise and being unhappy all the time!

Yinny Yinny 26-30, F 22 Responses Nov 27, 2008

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Just stumbled upon this post, will totally try this. Both inlaws have a huge hate for me, they refuse to acknowledge my existence. My MIL actually plans romantic holidays where she invites his ex and im excluded all the time. Doesnt help that my guy is a mommy's boy and just does anything she says. I will be trying this ignoring them approach.

<p>Add a response...</P> my mother in law is very sweet and polite to other person, but only me her behaviour is total diffrent, so I can not told anything against about her, no body trust me, my husband leave house early in the morning and come back in night, she ,my sister in law, father in law always heart me, they are so cruel to me, my marrage is love marrage, so I cannot complain agaist them to me father, bucause they are not agree to this marrage, so this time is very painful to me, please suggest me how i over come it.

Hi, I am Konkana and its surprising to know there are evil mother in laws not just in india but all over the world.My mil is no different from the lot.But the idea of ignoring really works,of late i have started doing it and found it amazing that so many other people are doing the same.It saves your relation with your husband to much extent.And you can live a peacefull life.

Well said, bravo! I will follow your advice. Life is short, why let a MIL ruin it. Let the meanies suffer in their corner.

yes truly said!

How does your husband feel about that?

tats wat i am doing currently after spending 4 years in depression and listening to her bull ****,thinking mayb shez right.trying to please her,ignoring her discrimination towards my child.i finally gave up and listened to me for once and am happy i did.my inner self told me stop being nice to a mean person just give her a dose of her own medicine.now i dont talk to her whether shez nice or evil.i just do wat needs to be done around the house and spend most of the time with my child.my kid even finds her boring cuz she never made any efforts to be nice to her.once we get out of this ****** place am not even gonna get back to her grave.

super.... thank u soo much ... your blog gave me the courage to be myself .... even i was very frusted ...bt now i think tht this is only the right way to be happy when the negative MIL is around youuu

I can't just ignore my MIL, because with her I absolutely MUST keep my guard up. I will have very little to do with her, but I should never forget how she has hurt me. I'm just kind of standoffish with her, which is best. She certainly doesn't deserve any of my affection!!!

wow, i am going to try your advice. i agree that by getting upset i only give my mil more power. evertime she is going to visit my husband and i spend the time she's here fighting. this time our son who is know 15, asked mewhy does grandma hates you, omg that was a reality check. so i finally told my husband you are right your mom can not visit us anymore, she is nothing but toxic to us.

my mother in low is a really devil.. she is cantinusly give orders to me and dispoints me. she said that i m not good looking (but i look good and its my love *** arrange marrage). she force fully take me at doctors place and aborte my first child. i dont want to see her face... she always camplining about me to husband and father in low... my husband love his parents and dont want to stay away from them.. she want to brake our marrage and so she make understanding between me and my husband...my husband is not yet started his business and he is working now i am also going to job... i dont want to spand my time in that house so i am working out side. i really dont like her.. she make soft corner in her son heart and her husband..so they think that i am always wrong..... i dont want to spoil my life becoz of her... i want to stay happily...

my mother in low is a really devil.. she is cantinusly give orders to me and dispoints me. she said that i m not good looking (but i look good and its my love *** arrange marrage). she force fully take me at doctors place and aborte my first child. i dont want to see her face... she always camplining about me to husband and father in low... my husband love his parents and dont want to stay away from them.. she want to brake our marrage and so she make understanding between me and my husband...my husband is not yet started his business and he is working now i am also going to job... i dont want to spand my time in that house so i am working out side. i really dont like her.. she make soft corner in her son heart and her husband..so they think that i am always wrong..... i dont want to spoil my life becoz of her... i want to stay happily...

my mother in low is a really devil.. she is cantinusly give orders to me and dispoints me. she said that i m not good looking (but i look good and its my love *** arrange marrage). she force fully take me at doctors place and aborte my first child. i dont want to see her face... she always camplining about me to husband and father in low... my husband love his parents and dont want to stay away from them.. she want to brake our marrage and so she make understanding between me and my husband...my husband is not yet started his business and he is working now i am also going to job... i dont want to spand my time in that house so i am working out side. i really dont like her.. she make soft corner in her son heart and her husband..so they think that i am always wrong..... i dont want to spoil my life becoz of her... i want to stay happily...

for my my MIL is very helpful bt sometimes overdo n too dmanding . most of the times i just ignore her hurtful words or comments <br />
bt some times i wish zat i had a seperate house where i can be free .<br />
when her mood is gud there 's no need ofg washing up bt when its bad fouf she will do all washing up by saying that no 1 do washing up blabla that u cant leave dirty vessels like zat blabla n bla

plz try to read the book,the dance of anger

for my my MIL is very helpful bt sometimes overdo n too dmanding . most of the times i just ignore her hurtful words or comments <br />
bt some times i wish zat i had a seperate house where i can be free .<br />
when her mood is gud there 's no need ofg washing up bt when its bad fouf she will do all washing up by saying that no 1 do washing up blabla that u cant leave dirty vessels like zat blabla n bla

In my case it's not my husband he's my boyfriend - same problem though. His mother is a nosy, meddling biotch who I absolutely hate. My boyfriend thinks his mother is a saint ! NOT!! I try to ignore her too when I'm at his house. I hate hearing her voice much less having to speak to her. I don't care what she does, where she goes and how she lives her life. My question is - if you knew what your husbands mother was like why did you marry him? There's no way I would ever marry him and get stuck with her in my life. She is no friend of mine. When we are leaving somewhere and she's in the front yard I never say hello to her - I just walk by and pretend she is not there. You know what's worse? My boyfriend lives right next door to his parents. Yuk!

i will try these suggestions; some people enjoy negativity because it makes them feel superior/better about themselves. these people may never change unless they decide to do so. i prefer to focus my energy on success and having peace in my life. i don't want to be dragged into their black hole.

Kudos to you!

See everyone? Ginnymae and I agree on this and we BOTH think this totally works! Yay!<br />
<br />
I think, in life, people are often times treated they way they deserve to be treated. My best friend also suffers from depression and anxiety, same as my mother in law.<br />
<br />
I call my friend or e-mail her once a week to give her support, and I tell her that when I save enough money next year I will fly to NY to see her. I love my friend--we have been best friends since high school, and she is the SWEETEST, NICEST person I know!<br />
<br />
My MIL, on the other hand, can't stop saying bad things about me to my husband, and tries to break up my marriage. I tried to get close to her but only ended up getting burnt in the end. So I think she does not deserve my time. <br />
<br />
I am the same person but I will treat those with good nature with respect, and those with manipulative, evil hearts with neglect. It's only fair, I think.

Poor Goingnumb!<br />
<br />
It's much harder when your in-law actually lives with you. My MIL wants to move in with us too but I made it CLEAR that it's not possible.<br />
<br />
However, she lives about 10 minute drive away from us, so if she needs help my husband can go help her. <br />
<br />
Is there any way you can have the same living arrangement as me?

Good Job Yinny

I think you have a really good strategy there, and you're probably right that its the only one that's ever going to work. For ages I was determined to make friends with my MIL, but now I realise its never going to happen. I hope I can get to the point you are at where it does not actually bother you on a regular basis. As things are, I spend WAY too much time thinking about it, and as WickedKitten said, this is definitely not healthy!

i have terrible time with my mil, what i do is, i have a pleasant smile on my face always but limit my speech to her. when she irritates me, i write my feelings in my special diary i have kept for this purpose. never think abt her, i think abt me ONLY... just do my work

My thing is how do I IGNORE my MIL when she lives with us. I wish I could ignore MIL but her constant remarks, and now her story telling is just um....annoying. MIL is only 60 yrs old, and in any conversation she brings up how things were done when she was little. Well that's nice but it is my house and my kids. I am trying .....Good luck with your MIL, I used to do the same thing of ignoring, life was nice back then...

hi i think the book, the dance of anger will change ur life