Mother-in-law Is a Control Freak

My husband and I have been married for 4 years.  We have two children, ages 3 and 1.  My husband and I dated for 3 years before getting married and I am 13 years older than him.  My husband has 2 brothers. My MIL experience started off fine.  She was usually very friendly and seemed to be interested in getting to know me.  Boy, was I fooled.  Since my oldest daughter was born, my MIL has turned into a crazy person.  She has always been obsessed with my oldest daughter.  Obsessed to the point that she has told me that she wants my daughter for her own.  Anytime she has ever kept my children she always seems to go against our wishes.  If we leave specific instructions she always seems to find an excuse as to why she couldn't follow through with them.  She and my FIL both are constantly complaining that they never get to see their grandchildren (they live 12 miles from us).  They always want us to bring the children to them and leave them for an extended period of time.  We've told them that they are welcome in our home any time of the day or night but they refuse to come unless we make a big deal out of the invitation.  My 3 year old refuses to go to their home.  She is very mature and verbal for a 3 year old and told me several weeks ago that my MIL hit her with a spoon and that something scares her at their house.  My MIL blames me for this...says I told my daughter to say that.  For several months my MIL will not make eye contact with me or speak to me even when we're in the same room.  She will answer a questions if I ask but usually won't have a conversation with me.  I'm not alone in the way I am treated.  They treat my husband as bad as they do me.  They always seem to find a way to put him down or say he's lied about something.  My husband is a very quiet, sweet and helpful person who works hard for our family.  I have tried talking with my MIL about our relationship but she continues to say that I lie to her all the time and that I don't want her to see my children.  My husband and I both try very hard not to discuss anything about the situation around our children but my 3 year old seems to be picking up the "vibes".  She definitely treats my MIL differently.  She will play with her but usually will not want to give her a hug when my MIL asks.  Will it ever end?  Is there hope?
lgruss lgruss
36-40, F
1 Response Jul 19, 2007

This sounds almost exactly like my MIL, except we don't have kids yet. I fear that this is what is to come. <br />
I have to deal with difficult parents at school and hate phone conversations because I can't prove what was said. I have turned to email and carbon paper (they don't know I keep a copy) as my form of communication. <br />
If she acts like a child, calmly tell her that you can't talk right now, but will be happy to listen when she has a chance to calm down.