Do I Hate My Mil?

i've read all the awful things mil's have done and not sure how to explain the pain i've received from my mil and sil. their not like alot of the stories i've read. they don't ever come out and say awful things to me. it's unbelievable how i'm sooo hurt that i feel hate. i've put up with them for the 32 yrs that my husband and i have been married. it's finally come to a head lately and my husband pretty much told his mother on the phone what he thought. the really worst part has been my mil's favoritism. my husband has several siblings but his mother spends most of her time w/ his youngest sister and  and almost raised her daughter. as my husband says his mother has one daughter, one granddaughter and now one great grandchild.  when that one granddaughter would be at her grandma's with my kids my mil would blame anything that went wrong on our 2 girls. if the golden child got hurt playing it was my kids fault. this recently came to a head when my youngest daughters baby shower was missed by my mil. she has missed all of my childrens babyshowers (7) but never missed any of the others. my husband called her and finally confronted her and she said "her dog was sick" so she wasn't able to attend. she's just about to run out of excuses. she has had one for all 7 showers. when my husband sp/w his 2 sisters about this they backed up his mom. he told them how he was upset with them for not at least understanding his pain. they just put their head up their butt as his family does and made excuses. no matter how we have approached this they make excuses. my 1 sil said " she sent a gift so why are you so upset and stated we were just making a big problem for the family. also recently to add insult to injury my husbands brother was drinking and said awful things to me, told my husband he was going to beat him up and then pushed me. my husband told his family he needed to apologize or we would not go to any functions he went to. big mistake!! now he goes to family functions he never attended before so we can't!! we asked our bil who is married to the one nice sister (i think?) to tell the brother to apologize or that he couldn't attend the 4th of july party at their house so we could come. their reply was they couldn't do that and we should leave our problems at their door and just get along. things are talked about in the family but we're always on the outside. after 32 years the pain cannot be explained. we are good people who want to be part of the family but no matter what we do they won't let us in. the pains gotten soo bad that i haven't been able to deal with it. i was so hurt for my husband when he said how badly he felt that he has no one in his family to turn to for support. they just make excuses even to the extent of sounding ridiculous. don't know what to do. i hate to say it but i think alot of this stems from jealousy. there's nothing i can do about how they look and how i look or what i have. we just want to be loved for ourselves!! please someone help. sorry such a long story but after 32 years... and i could go on...