24 Hour, 7 Day a Week Torture

I live with my mother in law and she manipulates and controls our lives.  Supposedly out of love and concern for us.  She has called me a bad mother, wife, man hating feminist, and a parasite.  While my husband says nothing except "why can't you be nice to my mum".  Emotionally manipulative blackmailer who controls others by making them feel guilty.  She has such a desperate desire to be needed that she will stick her nose in so far she can't get it out again.  I recently went on a vacation to visit family overseas and while I was away she treated my son and husband like kings of the castle.  They did nothing so gained no appreciation for what I actually do.  This is despite me asking her not to look after them - this was a bad thing to ask for as it was interpretated as me wanting them to suffer.   I could go on for hours about the sulking silences, door slamming, note writing and general martyr behaviour but I won't as talking constantly about someone I hate and who hates me is toxic.
sjbear sjbear
31-35, F
7 Responses Jul 31, 2007

Same with me only difference is here i libe with my fil... He ia a widower... Has a married daughter who keeps filling in bad thoughts nd tricks to trouble me. I have a daughter whos just a year old.. But no one to take care of or help me... I do all house work nd look after the baby amd at the end of the day suffer... My husband hardly knows stuff... When i try to tell him he listens to them and laughs be i point out his familys fault. We had been in us for past 4 yrs but currently in home country and within a year things changed so much... His family just wants us to be in their control. We cant go out cant eat outside. No social life. I can hardly talk to my parents abt it... I feel sick and now on top his father uses slang for me. He said it in front of my husband but he cudnt speak a word. I feel like commiting aucide

I really understand . Same is my in law as your's.... but good thing is we arnt staying with my in laws since my hubby works over seas. Better u try to cinvince yo hubby to have a job at some other place giving a reason of best salary or what ever, u ll know better abt yo hubby's need or requirement to convince.....really i hate my MIL,,,, SHE IS JUST BL...Y.....and worst dramist who spoils my husbands mind over calls though we arnt staying with her... she cant tolerate me being happy with my hubby or being together but atleast m happy tat my hubby is not mom's son in every case.....

Hi,<br />
<br />
My MIL lives with us.She is a widow. She is the worst lady I have ever seen in my life. My husband is the only son. She would wait each day to create problems in our house. She is very happy if me and my husband fight..She calls me a bad mother and bad wife too. inspite of doing all the house hold job and going to office and working until night she does not understand my value. She keeps commenting on all the work I do. She talks ill about me to my maid. After I cook she throws them in the dustbin and then cooks again for her son.<br />
See how mean she is. She always keeps talking bad about my parents and sister. <br />
I am a Post Graduate in Computer science. She tells my son I don't know anything. I don't know to teach etc. He is just a 4yr old kid. She corrupts his mind by telling that my parents like only my sister's daughter and not you. My husband is aware of all this..But still he says adjust and go..she is like that only. I don't know how long I should suffer in this hell..????<br />
<br />
Doing all this my MIL calls her self true Christian...<br />
<br />
She is no qualities of a true Christian though...

divorce him

I feel for you. I live with my mother-in-law too. However, she does nothing. It is so bad that she asked me to open the door for her cleaning lady. She does not bathe. She is basically scum....Can't wait till we move next month. I would tell your mother-in-law that you would rather live under a bridge than with her.<br />
Good luck Lisa

i lived with my mil for a little over a year and a half and i would not reccomend it to anyone!!! we thought it would be nice to save some money by sharing expenses with his mom but it backfired. i can say in all honesty that the money was not worth my sanity!! you have to talk to your hubby about how you feel. dont be afraid to talk to her either. standing up for yourself is crucial when dealing with other women in your mans life. they need to know that you're here for the long haul and deserve some respect. i had to tell my mil that i am the queen of my castle, her son is not her baby anymore and while i would appreciate any concerns she has, i dont care for the negativity she presents them with. it's not ok for someone who is supposed to love you to call you a bad mother and wife. you are the main woman in his life now and she needs to respect that and find a way to deal with it. good luck!!

It sounds like it is time to talk to your husband about how his mother treats you. It sounds like you are getting belittled and he doesn't do much about it. You are his wife, and she should respect that. I hope that you can get everything worked out so that the situation is livable.