If You Read This God Bless You!

Ok, here it is. I HATE my MIL!!

She lives with me, my husband and our 2 year old little boy. Life is grand here in our home... NOT!

This woman is in my business 24/7. I can't get a break. If Im on the phone with someone, she stops me to ask who I'm talking to. If my husband and I are in the middle of a conversation, she interrupts to ask and I quote" What are WE talking about" *****! "WE" arnt talking about anything! thats what I want to say, but of course, I don't. We can't have company over anymore, because everyone who has come by has mentioned at one time or another, shes too nosy or makes them feel uncomfortable. Not to mention she acts like their her guest and pushes me aside and doesnt allow me to host. My parents who live 4 hours away wont even come see me anymore, because she does it with them too. And if they do they always stay in a hotel.

But this isnt even the good part...

She THINKS shes my sons mom! Let me take on a stroll down memory lane...

When we all first started living together she would sneak around smoking in the house, knowing how I feel about children and cig. smoke. When she was confronted, she would lie like there's no tomorrow. Finally an ultimatum was made and I told her if she wouldnt quit I was taking my son and moving else where and she can have her son all to herself again. But I proceeded to remind her that repairing her relationship with her son wouldnt be so easy if his wife leaves him because of her. She gave it some thought and decided she was sorry and would play "suck ***" for a while. So good deal smoking problem solved.

Everything is better for a while. but then it starts to storm and shes back at it again. She wants to control my son now. She thinks shes his mother and can tell my husband and I how to raise him. Wrong again mother dearest! She was saying all kinds of crazy stuff. Example. My son is a picky eater (because she sneaks around giving him junk) so one day Im in the kitchen trying to cook him lunch. I leave for a minute to use the bathroom and come back and what do you know, shes in there popping popcorn to give to him for lunch. I said "I'm sorry but he needs to eat something healthy for lunch and I've already started making it" Ok are you ready for this response, youre gonna love this one... "Popcorn is healthy! its a Veggie!" WTF are you serious? popcorn is a seed mother hen and it has no nutrition value to it at all. This is just one of few of her crazy responses. So yeah, she continues to but in to the point I decide its time for me and my son to take a mother and son vacation and visit my family. I leave for 2 weeks and share with my husband how irritated I am with her. When I come home my husband was trying to give our son a bath. He was kicking and screaming and wasn't having it. MIL comes into the bathroom and tries to take my son out of the tub, creating all kinds of problems and my husband is fed up by this point and just rips her a new one telling her to butt out and that our child is not her responsibility and stop interfering. she huffs and puffs and storms out.

So for the last 2 weeks my husband and I have got the silent treatment, well scratch that. My husband got it for 3 days I got it for the rest of the time. She sits in her room pouting like a little kid and doesnt come out acting like we locked her in there or something. Sometimes I wish I did have a key and oops swallowed it!

Well tonight, she decided after all her pouting she wants to join us to go to an awards ceremony for my stepson making the honor roll. So we all go. On the way there she starts making comments that if my 2 year old starts getting loud she will take him for a walk. My husband says in a very polite manor, "no, he is going to sit with us, we want him to learn to sit still behave." Subject dropped, until we get to the gym and my son starts making a few noises and she starts correcting him while I am trying to and then says let me take him for a walk. I said no. He wanted her to hold him, really he wanted to play pass me around, because thats what he does, I again said no he needs to sit here with me and be quiet. Now shes pissed again. Ceremony is over and instead of going over to congrat. her grandson and a job well done for making the honor roll she goes to the car and pouts again. doesnt say a word all the way home then gets home and goes inside gets her car keys and leaves, but doesnt leave until everyone has her attention so she says " im leaving! Im going for a drive!" then she comes home and goes straight to her room and SLAMS her door like a teenager, yeah a 67 year old teenager! and thats where she will be pouting giving us dirty looks when she does come out to go outside to smoke.

Oh and I have to mention this because this is one thing I have never been able to forgive.

It was my first Christmas with her and she invited my husbands ex wife and her current husband over for our Christmas dinner and then proceeded to give them ALL Christmas gifts in front of me and didnt give me so much as even a 99c Christmas card.

What should I do? She has nowhere else to go, so she has to stay here. I have no desire to be BFF's with her anymore, now I'm just looking for a way to shrug it off and put a smile on my face for my family and not let her get under my skin. Easier said then done, so how do you do it????

 ^^^ Messed up there: she has nowhere to go because she left her place to move in to help us... I'm sorry I tried to clearify it below as to what my situation is there.

jellybean3 jellybean3
10 Responses Feb 12, 2009

are we talking about the same person? mine pouts then calls all the other family members who dont want anything to do with her to tell them what we did to her.i have gotten to the point that i dont speak to her unless i have been spoken to. that is the only way i can maintain a half way decent appearance of respect because she is my husbands mother. instead of the drives, mine runs away from home and causes everyone to go in search of her begging her to return home because it is usually in the middle of the night and she doesnt need to be out. she knows this. anyway, hang in there, everything changes with time.

I can't believe she invited your husband's ex at your Christmas party!!! That's so rude! Kick her as$ out of your house. she reminds me of my MIL who invited my husbands ex gf after we already told her not to do that. i don't know what kind of world MILs live in. they have no common sense or relationship etiquette.

Do you have a dog? Cuz i was thinking... you could probably just throw her in the dog house?... I hate my MIL too w/ a passion, wow, I really feel bad that she lives with you, that has got to be soooo annoying everytime you see her face. oh my.

Ok, I'm going to try to respond to everyones comments on here. First of all, Thank you! I really needed to vent as a few of you put it and it helps talking to someone.<br />
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I do try real hard to put myself in her shoes. However, knowing me and what I suspect I would be like with my DIL living with us, well I'm sure there would be times when I would want to share my thoughts, but I would know not do do it when the children are in the room, that does nothing but cause problems for everyone involved. I do things for her, because I know she has been lonely since my husbands father passed away. For instance tomorrow is Valentines Day and I didn't want her to feel down seeing my husband and I exchange gifts and celebrate the holiday, so I went out and bought her flowers, candy and a card. I put it in her room over an hour ago and have yet to even recieve a thank you. I just heard her telling my husband and son thank you, but me? no, nothing and I'M the one who got it for her. Things like that just hurt and **** me off at the same time. I have gone above and beyond trying to be the "Bigger person". She makes that so hard. I most certainly do not want to be her friend, but I like to think of myself as being some what of a kind person and be a good example to my child.<br />
In resoponse to talking to a family member. That is a great point, and I have done it and it helps. She lived with my husbands sister about 10 years ago and my SIL and her had many go arounds, many simular to my situation. When talking to my SIL she tells me she understands where I'm coming from and you couldnt pay her enough money to live with her again, and flat out calls her mom "crazy" and says she needs help. I'm about to the point where a SIL lunch is needed so I can talk to her more, talking to her helps a great deal as feeling like the support and thoughts ppl gave me on here helps too. Again, thank you!<br />
I don't think I was clear or gave enough detail about my living arrangements. She is living with us, not because she cant take care of herself, but because my husbands child support was raised to damn near $800.00 a month and we needed the help. I know now I sound like an ungrateful *****, but living with this day in and day out is making it impossible to handle. She is just so nasty to me. <br />
I'm not going to walk out on my marriage, but I do need to find a way to get a piece of mind and find some sanity.

I agree with Kasey, pass her off to her other children and there is also the option of Section 8, welfare housing...That is the inly way my MIL can get away from us. My MIL has been living with us for just about 16 months and I have 4 kids. MIL is the same as yours except mine has 2 rodent dogs that have messed in my house and now on my furniture the whole time with us. You can respect her after she is gone, cause obviously she is not respecting you. Good luck, and try to have a great Valentine's Day!

You should talk to other family members if there are some and tell then they need to take turns. Send her with them for a week then when she comes back she will be either grateful or even more impossible if that is the case it is time to start looking for a nice seniors community. If you have to get others to pitch in. Then so be it I would rather be short on money then miserable with.

i be your like me holding my breath to spend time with her for mothers day (oh joy!) i break out in hives just knowing when we have to go see her i hate it so bad

never let her get you so upset it costs you a heart actack or stroke its not worth it , my mother in law couldnt get me to fight with her becalse thats what she was wanting they thrive in making your life h ell . they love it . now i dont call my mother in law i told say hi if i have to and nothing more . i told mine to her face i didnt want be friends with her or even have <br />
a relationship with her . i didnt want to move in with her but she begged . i got nasty with her i told her after spending 15 grand and paying her rent 600.00 and 700.00 buying our own food , i told her we was broke . so she backed off some but i got the best revinge i don tspeak to her and when she asked what did she do to make me mad i told her my world dont revalve around her and then i smile and say you must be paranoied iam not mad at you. i lov e it becalse its all about her contole becalse i cut her off.

it sounds like my mother in law stuff only we moved in with mine she begged us to check out my mother in law storys on here iam karla oh if you call her on what she does she will look at you lie your crazy. they just dont get it . i got moved out 3 weeks ago and my blood pressures gone down , she got me so upset i had a stroke this time last year . and i w ould never ever ever move in with her or even move her in with us. my mother in law would do the same kind of things to us she acted like she was the wife not me . messed up .

It sounds like you really needed to vent!<br />
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Try and think of how you would like to be treated if you were in her shoes, and see if she could do the same. Open up the lines of communication. Sit down with each other and discuss the situation. Set some boundaries with each other. You are both adults and can work things out like that, no?<br />
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She is the mother of the man you love. Remember to treat her with respect, even if you disagree. Imagine yourself living with your (future) daughter in law.<br />
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I hope it all goes well for you!