Maybe Not Hate

But i EXTREMELY dislike her.  I wouldn't be sad if she died and i KNOW how awful that sounds.   It's okay she hates me too.  I don't really know why.  I wanted to like her, and for the first year of the marriage whenever she was mean to me i just sucked it up, i didn't just compromise when we disagreed I gave way to what she wanted.

I knew she was afraid.  My husbands previous significant others tried to take her son from her, and her grandson.  I promised not to do that no matter what.

But it didn't matter.  She just got more and more mean and demanding.  She kept my husband away from me on our wedding anniversary for petty reasons.

But the worst of it is my son.  If i tell him he's not allowed to do something, she makes sure that whatever that thing is, he does it.  I tell him to go to bed, she keeps him up until 6am. 

and it makes me angry. When he comes home he doesn't think he has to listen to me and it takes time to undo the damage every time.

She thinks I'm too strict with him, but i know that children enjoy structure.  It makes them feel secure to know what their expectations and consequences are and it leaves them free to still make life choices.  And there are some things that are always wrong no matter the circumstances.

I know that she has been trying to sabotage my marriage too.  And she is always meddling in our affairs.

When we are at home, my husband always listens to me, he's reasonable. But he never stands up for me when we are at her house.  He never defends my right to parent my child.   I might not have given birth to him, or known him before he was 4 but i sacrificed my life, and my job to take care of him.  I stayed home even though i hated it... i went to events like boy scouts even though i cant stand those things.  And i smiled when i did it, because it was for him.  He needed it and wanted it. 

Now things are changing, my husband will be home at nights and i will be working... so i hope to not hate life anymore.. but i cant help but be always angry at the MIL

It's hard to say what hurts more, the fact that i will never be a part of my "new" family, or the fact that my husband wont defend me from her attacks.

Shierke Shierke
26-30, F
Feb 16, 2009