Psycho Psycho Psycho....

My husband's mother has been nothing but trouble. As long as I've known about her, she has been homeless, about to lose wherever she was living, couldn't keep a job to save her life, and has been Queen ***** about always getting her way. She is severely mentally ill and refuses any help... unless it's what SHE wants and on HER terms. (Uh, it don't work that way, woman.) I can't say I hate her, but I can say she scares the hell out of me and I hate how much pain she has caused her ex-husband and her children.

The few times I've met her, she has scared me to death. Skinny, doesn't bathe enough, stringy hair, ugh. She does try to be nice and does want a good relationship with me... or so she says. She lives in some fantasy land where her version of the truth has only coincidental similarities with what really happened.

Only by a miracle did she make our wedding. I would have been fine if she couldn't do it, really. She got her then-boyfriend to bring her. Nice enough guy, I guess... so what's he doing with her? Fortunately, I never saw her go after her ex-husband, but apparently she ripped him a new one during our pre-wedding get-together, and she demanded to be seated first for the ceremony. During the reception, she never let go of her son. Both of us were being pulled from picture to picture to picture, but at least I was with different people the whole time. She latched on to him and didn't let go. Even in the wedding pictures, her insane possessiveness is obvious. The death grip on his arm in one shot? I'm surprised it didn't leave a permanent mark. My mom is possessive, but nothing like that! I was glad to get the hell out of there and go on to our hotel room.

When we opened our wedding presents, she had a nice gift for us. Too bad she also had written in a card, "now get busy and make me a grandbaby!" Uh, excuse me? That was rude. Not even the wing of my family that is anti-contraception said anything like that to us.

His family all lives in one city, so we visited them shortly after the wedding. The rest of my in-laws rock, but I could have done without the trip to his mother's place, really. She's a good cook, I'll give her that. Unfortunately, even her dog was psycho. How could the poor little guy help it, considering the company he had to keep? I found unfilled prescriptions for some heavy-duty psychiatric medicines in her kitchen. I asked her about them, and she said she didn't need them anymore. Excuse me, she cries at the drop of a hat, is out of touch with life, and can't keep a job. She needs them!

For someone who is completely off her rocker, refuses mentingful help, and lives in poverty, she thinks the whole world should revolve around her. Even when I has having trouble walking and desperately needed to get off a bad leg, she insisted on taking us around a shopping area the long way. When I asked her why she did that, she gave me some lame-brained excuse about how her mind works.

The whole situation is exceptionally difficult for DH. He's a very sensitve man who is at a complete loss about how to help her. His siblings have contacted every possible state agency to get her help, to get her committed, anything. She will not cooperate. There's really nothing more he could do that hasn't already been tried. If he sent her money, she would expect and demand not only the original gift, but more. The only way we feel comfortable helping her, and the only way we can do anything consistently, is by buying her minutes for her cell phone. She would take advantage of us if we did anything else, and that's if we actually had an address where she'd get mail and check it.  The pain she has caused her children is indescribable. I'd give anything if I could just corner her and let her know that if she doesn't give enough of a damn to get some real help for herself, she needs to do it to stop hurting her kids. But no, getting real help requires work and doing things she doesn't want to do, so she lives a crap life and puts her kids through Hell. Thanks, *****.

intheshadow intheshadow
41-45, F
Feb 20, 2009