99 Ways to Kill Your Mil

Where do I start?  To say my mother-in-law gets on my nerves is like saying SARS is just a bad cold!  I have thought of many MANY ways to kill her, a push down the stairs, a push out the window, cut the brakeline, poison her food...of course I could never do this, but oh, the joys of an active imagination.

My MIL sold her home about 5 days after my husband and I purchased ours.  She is moving overseas and had "about a month" before all the paperwork would be finalized and she would go.  It's his mom, it was a month, sure, no problem.  That was over three months ago!!!  "Oh there was a problem with the paperwork, oh, I didn't know I needed to send that form over".  If I didn't know she had nowhere else to go, her *** would have been on the curb weeks ago.

She has lived on the third floor of our home, broken our sink (which is supposed to be OUR sink in our en suite bath that we have never even used yet), broken our wood trim on the floor.  I have cringed multiple times as I listened to her run a vaccum over 98 year old knotty pine flooring.  Her cat is ******* all over the room and bath.  She has two pick-up trucks worth of crap in boxes in our mudroom, we can barely use that room.

She has commented on each and every decorating choice we have made.  Made sure we knew how she thought we were screwed when we agreed to buy a house that needed new gutters.  And heaven help us when we needed a new expansion tank last month.  I want to scream and shake her "this doesn't concern you, who pays the bills".

She has not contributed one cent to any utility bill, grocery bill, toilet paper, etc.  She even goes so far as to use our cat litter!!!  She comes home every night and eats the food I make, drinks my coffee, eats my cereal for breakfast and takes my leftovers for lunch, yet contributes nothing to the food bill.

She diddle-daddles with the thermostat DAILY, takes 20 minute hot showers daily, and washes one towel in hot water on a mega-size load.  She has not contributed one dime to the oil/electric/water/sewer bill.

As I type on my laptop in the living room she is sitting on my loveseat commenting on every aspect of the news.  My bloodpressure must be through the roof.  She is staring at me.  She is up my *** so freaking far she can double check the work my dentist recently completed.

But GOD willing, she is set to leave in 9 days!!!  I can't get my hopes up only to be disappointed again!!!!  I don't think I can take even another day!

I don't understand why it will have been over three months before my husband and I can return home from work, make dinner, and not have to deal with her and her sense of entitlement.  My hospitality has run out...like two months ago.

Cany anyone relate???  Please offer some words of advice/encouragement!!!

rantsalot rantsalot
26-30, F
2 Responses Mar 2, 2009

Kill the *****! Slowly. Savour the moment!

mother in laws are like fish after 3 days they stink<br />
oh i feel for you just met my mother in law shes drained us dry money wise we were paying her$700. and buying our own foot tolet tissue things we used , and she would b itch about a 27 dollar water bill shes nutes , tell her u have the plage and she has to leave or she will die 97 ways to kill a mother in law