Ding Dong the Witch Is Dead

When I was engaged to my ex-husband, my M-I-L used to bang on a pot outside the doors to her 3 daughter's rooms and shout "Wake up slu*s!" in the morning. I don't know if she began doing this before or after they all crawled over the convent wall, got preggers and had numerous abortions, but when I was staying in the house I took offense at inclusion in her bellowing. If my future sister-in-laws were slu*s it was because she was their mentor. She was usually drunk by noon and began to curse anyone who came near her, in colorful language. On no other's lips have I ever heard the words: "Crawl up my a** and vomit while you go! I assume it was her own creation. When her first grandchildren, my two sons, were born, she persisted in referring to them as "little turds," as in "Isn't he a cute little turd" and "Come here you little turd." When I remonstrated with her that I did not wish my sons to think of themselves as bodily waste, or to learn to use crude terminology that I would have to break them of before they entered kindergarten, she accused me of being a snob. I hardly think it snobbish to hope that your children would one day be allowed to play with other boys and girls without their parents complaining of potty mouth taught them by dear old granny. When the first little boy was a few days old, she was supposedly changing his diaper when he began to scream. She had done something that caused his penis to gush blood, soaking the crib. She claimed the penis needed pushing back to to keep it from fusing at the head. We rushed him to the pediatrician who said it was molestation and for us never to leave him alone with her again. My husband had night terrors and I began to suspect she had molested him too. After the birth of our second son our marriage broke up. Much of it had to do with my M-I-L's interference and my husband's refusal to see that she was a danger to the children. He insisted on leaving them at her home for weeks at a time. I would have to go there and stay with this drunken, vile, cursing witch in order to protect my little boys. Eventually she died of cancer of the rectum. No, I did not make that up. I had intended to hire the local high school marching band to parade through town playing Ding Dong the Witch is Dead from The Wizard of Oz, but my Ex had her cremated and tossed the ashes in a ditch somewhere. Even he had gotten fed up with her.      

Devlen Devlen
61-65, F
1 Response Mar 13, 2009

shes sounds nuts