Mothers Day Or D-day?

Me and Mil have not been on what anyone could call close terms. Two weeks into our marriage she started to stir up trouble. She has told the most horrendous lies about me  over the years, caused terrible fights and rows. She has tried to get the kids when they were younger to be critical of me as their mother. My daughter told a few years ago about her grandmothers tricks. The irony of it was her parenting left a great deal to be desired, she was openly critical of both of her children, regularly left my husband to look after his younger sister when he was only 7yrs and never played with her children, took them out or read to them. She once caused a fight between my husband and his dad over lies she had been spreading about me. My hubbie was upset as it was the only time his dad had ever raised his voice to him.

Two nights ago, my husband phoned his mother as he still feels he should do his duty. My grown up son who is still at home has booked a table to take me out to dinner for Mothers Day next Sunday. MiL wanted to know if my hubbie was going to see her. He said no, he was going out with his family and she told more lies by saying his sister was going to see her on Sunday and had asked for him to be there and would be very disappointed. We know she complains to neighbours about us neglecting her as they make comments to us when we visit. They have no idea what a nasty person she really is. She told one of our neighbours we were having my mum to stay over Christmas one year and not her. They had a real go at us until I told them MiL was going to saty with her daughter after spending the last 20 Christmases with us. She stayed for 2 weeks over the holiday each year and never lifted a finger. The rest of the family do not visit anymore as she is so rude to them.

I no longer speak directly to her, won't be left alone with her and won't talk on the phone so she has no opportunity to make stories up about me. That seems to help. My husband used to get drawn into her lies, but is more clued up now. I feel very sorry for him as he had a lousy childhood with her.

Some women do not deserve the title 'Mother' and she is one of them



Siuxie Siuxie
2 Responses Mar 16, 2009

Hi atts. Thanks for this. <br />
Sadly, I have tried the compromises, and have bent over backwards to be fair to MiL. This is a very self-centred person. An example of her behaviour, she wouldn't stay in hospital by her husband's bedside when told he was not going to last the night and wouldn't let either her son (hubby) or her daughter stay with him. She demanded they both took her home and looked after her. My husband still lives with the guilt of leaving his dad to die in hospital alone and wishes he had stood up to her. She still says that her husband was inconsiderate for dying and upsetting her! He could hardly be to blame for having terminal cancer. I do not give up easily, but this one is a lost cause.

You both need to let go... She cant cause mayhem if you do not allow her too. Be smarter then what you have to work with. If she is making such a big deal about dinner on mothers day... Have him spend lunch with her and dinner with you. You can do it.. I did!