Am I Expecting Too Much?

      I have been married 10 years to a wonderful husband.  The in-laws and I got off to a good start.  I had a good job, money saved, followed his religion.  I was looking forward to having a really deep relationship with them.  Well... it never happened.  The good part.. they NEVER butt in.  The bad part... we don't even know they are alive.  We have two kids... they get a birthday call once a year.  No other calls.  Five years ago, when one of our children had an accident and was in the hospital for a week... they never bothered to check in (they were on the road traveling).  I was always the one that called and after that... I decided not to call anymore.  They call about twice a year.... besides that annual birthday call.  Last year, 6 months elapsed between phone calls and my mother in law finally had the nerve to ask what was wrong.  And we had a very civil discussion where I told her what was wrong.  She told me "the phone works in two directions" (basically blaming me too) and she would try harder.  A year has gone by... nothing has changed.  They send out a yearly Christmas letter describing this very wonderful extended family... I just laugh.  They dis all the other sister-in-laws too... so I don't take it personally.  My sister-in-law had a baby and I wanted them to call as soon as it happened... mother-in-law said... "Don't wake me, call me in the morning".  I have put up with 10 years of these comments.

    Three weeks ago my mom died suddenly.  It took them 10 days to call me (they knew my parents).  When I did return their call... I spoke to my father-in-law.  It is now three weeks and my mother in law still has not spoken to me.

     My kids are smart and know their grandparents don't care about them.  Everyone that knows the situation say it is the grandparents loss... I can honestly say they don't care.  They don't know anything about my kids.  My mom that died was very close to them and really enjoyed them.  It is just so sad.

maven2000 maven2000
1 Response Mar 21, 2009

my mil is the same way. She doesnt treat my kids well and it hurts my husband the most. My kids are 3 and 2 so they dont relise it yet.