Curséd C**t of St Catharines

Hi Everyone!

Let me tell you about my amazingly exciting weekend with my MIL-to-be!

My fiancée's mother decided to come and stay with us for a couple of days. The moment she turned up, she decided to spend her entire time playing some ridiculous psychological game aimed at making sure that my fiancée spent all her time with her and none with me. She even tried to get her to sleep in her bed instead of ours. You'd be amazed at how pathetic it was.

Anyways, after 2 days of this, I got fairly tired of the nonsense, to which my fiancée told me her mother had decided to stay another day. I don't think it's too much to ask that I get consulted about who stays in our apartment on a day to day basis, so I asked her to convince her mother to go home, so we could have some semblence of normality back.

Ten minutes later, I get a call from my MIL-to-be, screaming and shouting and telling me how my fiancée is just about to leave me. I told her she was out of her mind, she freaked - called me every name under the sun, being remarkably rude - or rather ferociously venemous, for lack of a better description.

I decided I couldn't be bothered to deal with the nonsense, so I went to my friend's house, with the intention of staying the night there until MIL-to-be had left. I got a call from my fiancée, begging me to go home so we could "talk it out". I told her I thought it was a terrible idea, her mother isn;t rational when she starts to lose arguments, it usually ends up with someone being hit, and I didn't want to cause an irreperable tear in family relations.

But, I love her, so I acquiesced.

I arrived home, and MIL-to-be was clearly spoiling for a fight. We started talking, and she accused me of all manner of things with no real basis in the truth - treating her daughter like a housemaid, being an alcoholic, using her daughter as my personal purse, (I earn three times as much as her mother does - just so you can see how outlandish these arguments are)- whatever she could think of to get a raise from me. I politely rebuffed all these far-flung notions, and that's when she realised she wasn;t going to win the argument.

At that point, she declared to my fiancée that if she won't leave me, she will disown her, remove her credit cards, and force the rest of her family to do the same. She said she would not attend the wedding, nor would she financially assist the nuptials in any way. I told her that wasn't a problem, and told her that her daughter and I are soulmates, we are going to get married, and she will - like it or not -be my mother in law. I asked her to cool down, for the sake of her grandchildren - she doesn't really want to squander my goodwill.

Then she got nasty, and started insulting my family. Namely, my mother and father. Now, she's never met either of them, so at that point I decided I'd had enough and asked her politely to leave. She freaked - I mean, went absolutely beserk. I realised she was about to hit me, and that would have been a thoroughly unwise move, so I left the apartment after telling my fiancée I'd return in 30 mins after her Mum had left.

Clearly not happy to end the argument without hitting someone, her mother decided to hit my fiancée, remove her credit cards, say godknows how many hurtful, vitriolic and bilious epiphets and eventually leave after promising never to have anything to do with me again.

I genuinely haven't done anything wrong. Her mother is a sad, lonely bitter old woman, still reeling from the death of her husband, with no real friends or family to turn to. She needs psychiatric help - desperately, but refuses to see anyone. She cannot cope with the thought that her 22 year old daughter is growing up and turning into a young woman - free and virtually independent of her. She is determined to undermine her self-confidence at every turn, to try and keep her at heel as the lapdog she feels she's going to need to keep herself alive.

I love my fiancée - but I'm not sure I'm up for buying into a lifetime of her mother sniping at me. I've never been able to stand the woman - but always assumed that while you can choose your friends, you can;t choose your family. But I'm seriously reconsidering - why the hell would I sign up for that. She's not going to "go away" - she will continue to attempt to make my life a misery for as long as she lives.

You guys have more experience than me - is reconciliation ever going to happen, or am I putting myself in for a life sentence? Does anyone have something positive to share with me? Please?

AbysmalMIL AbysmalMIL
Mar 22, 2009