Guilty Mil

Lately the inlaws have been coming around more again because my husband's twin and gf just had their baby 7 weeks early and she's in the neonatal intensive care unit right here by us. So MIL has been here more. I know it's because she feels guilty because during the pregnancy BIL's gf got mad at her and BIL defended his gf and my MIL wished them to lose the baby so BIL could get away from gf. SAD but true. I feel bad for them because I know what they're going through. My 3rd son was also 7 weeks early and it was terrible. MIL just acts like she has no sense what so ever. The one time she gave my oldest son (who's 8) 5 bowls of cereal just because he kept saying he wanted more. She has 3 kids and growing up my husband and his twin were very obese. Now her daughter is 13 and she is also obese. I really don't want her doing that to my kids! My husband is also in the Army and right now he's on leave. We were trying hard not to let them know. Well with BIL's baby being in the hospital and them being 1 1/2 hours away I told my husband that he should get BIL's car towed up to our house to fix it for him since it won't pass inspection this way he could drive back and forth to work and the hospital and not have to keep paying for the bus. We were under the impression that all the car needed was a piece to be bent back so the headlights would sit right. Well come to find out BIL can't afford the car payment, insurance, parts for the car (new headlights and 4 new tires) or the inspection sticker so even if my husband fixed it he wouldn't be able to drive it. So still under false impression my husband decides it would be easier if he just drove the 1 1/2 hours and fixed it since it would only take a few hours. Well, when MIL and FIL came they saw my husband had facial hair and since he's in the Army he's not allowed to have facial hair they knew he was on leave. Dumb of us but we didn't even think of it. So the couple of hours that it should have taken to fix the car before they knew he was on leave turned into 3-4 days! Then we found out all the other things too! So my husband said it wasn't worth it to fix it since BIL wouldn't be able to get it on the road for a long time and FIL got p!ssed! The next morning was my husband's day to sleep in and he was still sleeping after they left. Before they left MIL mentioned the car and FIL was standing there too. I said "well, I don't think Kevin's (my husband) really worried about it now since he found all that out. I mean he won't even be able to get the car on the road for a long time so the idea was pointless. And it was my idea in the first place thinking it would help them while the baby was in the hospital. He's not going to do it and waste his leave fixing a car that he can't completely fix and for no reason." So then FIL gets really p!ssed and walks off to his truck and just sits in it while MIL is still talking to me. Then he comes back over and says "well tell Kevin that it still needs to get fixed and I'd appreciate it if he would come down because if he doesn't help me I'm going to end up having to do it on my own." Uh ok dude whatever! So my husband didn't go fix it. I'm really glad he didn't because that would have meant I stayed up here the whole time with all 4 kids while he went and worked on the car. But the reason they said 3-4 days is because they thought they could get him down there by his self.  We both knew better! So MIL also thought that she was going to stay at our house after the baby was born so she could go see the baby every day. Our son was in the hospital for about a month, so she was expecting to stay for at least a month. But she was also expecting BIL and his GF to stay here too. I wouldn't have minded BIL and his GF since I know what they're going through, but MIL was only trying to butt in and also felt guilty! That's not all though. MIL expected me to drive her and BIL's gf to the hospital 30 mins away every day. That would mean I'd have to pack all 4 of my kids in the vehicle at least 2 times a day. And also waste my gas. But she decided that BIL and his gf should go back down to her house (which is where they live to begin with) this way every day when they came up here she could go with them to see the baby. She also arranged it so BIL never got to see the baby if they did it that way. So I mentioned the Ronald McDonald House! Thank GOD for that place. That's where they're staying which is like 2 mins away from the hospital. The bad part is BIL and his GF actually call us to drive 30 mins  where they are to pick them up and bring them 5 mins down the street to a store for them to get things. It's been so nerve wrecking dealing with all these people! My husband is up for re-enlistment April 28th and I really can't wait. When he re-enlists it will mean a new duty station!!!! YAY! Hopefully it's to Germany or California somewhere far away. MIL told my husband one night that she wants to know where we're going because FIL is ready to pack the house up and sell it at cost and move where ever we go because he can't live away from his grandbabies. I know she was really talking about herself and blaming it on FIL. Then just last weekend she made a comment to me about if we move to another country or across the country we probably won't ever see each other again with the way the economy is going. Well, for the first time ever I'm glad the economy is the way it is! (not really but if something keeps her away from me then YES!) Ok sorry it's so long but it feels so wonderful to get it all out there! I could go on forever! Thank you all for listening.

KevinsAngel KevinsAngel
26-30, F
2 Responses Mar 24, 2009

The best part about moving is I'm hoping she won't follow. If she doesn't follow us then we most likely won't see her again. But every time I've said something about where we could get stationed at she always replies with well Joe (FIL) can get transferred there. He works for the navy fixing their ac and refrigeration, he's not in the navy just works for them. And I mean any time I've said a place she wants to go there. Washington, Kentucky, Hawaii, Georgia, Florida,and lately up north. The only place she hasn't said she would go is Germany or Italy. I sooo wish! It doesn't get better.

Your life will be so much better once you guys move away! Sounds like you and your husband are the "backbone" of the family and that they all rely on you guys to hold them all up. I can completely relate to that, too.<br />
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The day that we moved out of my MIL's house was better than any birthday, holiday, or spa day for me and we only lived there for 6 weeks! Only the birth of my daughter and my wedding day were better. We are now one state away, and sometimes I wish there were a few more between us because the crazy MIL still manages to haunt us at least once a month.