Fmil Is Driving Me Nuts....again

fmil's golden girl (ie: caregiver) was seen by fh yesterday when he was taking cg's aunt (who now cares for gma) home. she had contacted fmil and said she needed money for a bus pass, then got mad at fmil for buying her a bus pass rather than sending the money(she was living in a halfway house at this point, so its not like she was desperate for money and living on the street-they provide you with what you need, including bus passes at the one she is at). anyways, she pulled up beside fh @ a stoplight thinking it was fmil driving(this was after fh saw her washing her car at the car wash) & waved. fh made a not so nice gesture at her & drove off. cg then called fmil and talked to her, saying she is moving into an apt. in a complex down the road from us. i told fh that given she is giving out our phone number as her own and in some cases our address as her own, & that fmil will not stop talking to her and associating w/ her, & is doing nothing to stop her, i think we need to move & make sure that fmil doesnt have a key(fmil has a key to fsil & fbil's house;call me rude but i have boundries on that kind of thing). if you need any background, please read my other postings.

fmil got offended the other day b.c fh gave me a little bit of money so i could get a dress to wear for my bridal shower. she also got all huffy about a month before when fh gave me a little bit of money for groceries(i dont work right now although i would like to as i have no one to take care of our child other than me & we cannot afford day care-fh supports my decision to be a stay at home mom, but fmil seems to think that SAH moms are shiftless layabout mooches from what i can tell, even though she used to be one herself. and from what i can tell, so does fsil, even though that is SO not the case. up until i had this child, i worked as much as possible. i paid for everything for myself and my child up until a few months ago when my savings ran out.). she seems to think that her son is the girl in the relationship! she comes after me, saying that i need to go out and get a fulltime job(why?so she can screw my child up like she screwed hers up?fh when we first met refused to do anything except sleep & blow money like it was going out of style and she let him. he is finally starting to do for himself & he is edging toward 30-& that is only b.c i made him. not to mention how?she & ffil are barely home and there would be no one to watch fh's and my child, and i certainly can't take my child to work if i did get a job.). she also tries to act like my child is her child! she would refer to fh's gma as grandma to my child, even after i corrected her. after i would correct her, she would say it again on purpose!it was creepy! she and ffil also refuse to respect ANY parenting decisions we make, including and especially regarding safety(even though fh and i remind them). they refuse to get chlid locks for the cabinets and drawers, even though they keep chemicals & sharp things down at a level where my child can easily access them. they plug their laptops in and leave the cords plugged into the wall w/ the plug cover lying on the floor. they were keeping a floor level cabinet door closed with a penny, which would fall out when our child opened the door. i had to grab our child and fish a penny out of his mouth on more than one occassion, and finally fh put a piece of paper to hold it shut, but i bet they see it and take it out and put the penny back. they also never tell me if my child gets hurt. the few times i have allowed them to be alone with our child, if our child falls or something i like to know about it. they dont even say anything unless it comes up in conversation, sometimes not even then.

fmil acts as if i am not even my childs parent. she ignores me as a parent when our child is there. our child will cry and if we dont pick the child up immediately, she gets all bent out of shape and runs over and picks our child up. she will hand our child off to fh, but not even acknowledge me or hand our child off to me if i am in the same room. she wont even look in my direction.

she couldnt even remember when my bridal shower was supposed to be and it is supposed to be at her house! when fsil was getting married, all i heard about was her bridal shower for a month and a half prior and how i had better take off work to make sure i was there every single day. fsil didnt even send out the invitations until less than a week prior to the shower! and big surprise, when it came time for rsvp's there were almost none to be had outside of the bridal party and significant others of the bridal party. and almost everyone who declined did so b/c of receiving the invitations on such short notice. i talked to fh last night and told him im tired of feeling like im in middle school again with his mother and fsil and their ignoring me and being catty to me and all b/c i wont make myself be just like them. i am to the point now that i wish that i could un bridesmaid fsil entirely, as all she is doing is making a stressful thing even more stressful, along with fmil.


ok, so i found out today(big surprise) fmil hasnt mailed the contract or deposit payment for the cake. i got an email from the lady that is doing our cake(she is so nice and it really makes me mad that fmil is doing this to her)asking if i had any problems or concerns with the cake design or the contract as she hadnt received the contract or the deposit check and that the date cannot be held until she receives it(this is the only space she has left for that day also). as far as i knew, fmil mailed the check and the contract back in march when i filled it out. i am so tired of apologizing to vendors b/c she has either bounced a check or just out right not paid them (even though she swears to me she has and that the vendor is lying). she still owes $50 for our ceremony venue that she refuses to pay, even though i got a broken down list of payments from the director at the ceremony venue, she still tries to say that the director is just trying to get more money out of her than is actually due(i checked the receipts and everything just to be sure-when i told her this she inferred that i was too stupid to have PROPERLY checked them).

agirlnamedsue agirlnamedsue
Mar 24, 2009