What I Wouldn't Give to Have Her Out of My Life.

Thank goodness I'm not alone!!

 My fiance and I have been engaged since September after being together for two years and very good friends before that for almost five years. We have a wonderful, beautiful, loving relationship and the only problem we have ever encountered is his mother.

She is the Queen of the guilt trip. She manipulates her 3 sons in anyway she can to get what she wants and truthfully I feel sorry for her as she's obviously lonely. She has all three of them on very tight apron strings and the oldest, who is almost 30, has only just found the courage to move out of his parents house after returning from Uni at 21, to live his own life. She will call them early in the morning and late at night to complain they havent replied to her 3,000 text messages while they were at work and cry about how they are blocking her from their lives and how they don't love her any more.

I can list the abuse she has thrown at me. The way she does it is underhanded and two faced. She will call my fiance and insult me to him, which she must know, if she has any sense, is the wrong way to go about it. Most recently, she has claimed that I will never keep my job up, that I'm a gold digger, that I don't really love him and most frustratingly of all that I'm not good enough for him. I don't consider myself a snob, but realistically we are from very different backgrounds and my upbringing has certainly been better than his both financially, culturally and emotionally.

It's not even the way she continually demeans and strives to upset me, she is just as cruel to my fiance. She belittles him by phone and text message and over MSN, constantly demanding his time and attention. He works too much, earns too little, isn't with the right woman, is throwing away his life, has no time for his family. He ignores her calls because he can't take the emotionally drain of having to constantly reassure her that he still loves her and of having to defend me against her.

I have tried everything but she hated me when I didnt have a job, she hates me when I've got one, she hated the fact we moved into a one bedroomed flat and hates us even more now we've moved into a two bedroom, she doesn't want to sign a guarantor from for our rented flat but its offended when we don't don't ask her, she doesn't like it when we spend time with my parents but doesn't want to me to come with him to visit her!!

I've finally asked for an apology, its been a long time since something someone has said about me has hurt my feelings but this woman takes the biscuit! I hate having to put fiance through the tension between me and his mother but unless I challange her now she'll walk all over me for the rest of my life. I won't let it get to the stage of so many other stories I've read about where their mothers in law constantly undermines their parenting, house keeping, professional, relationship and other skills.

My fiance has told me that if she doesn't grow up and start being at least civil to me then he will cut her out of his life. I hope for her sake she catches on that he's serious becaus even though I'd give anything to have her out of my life, I dont want my fiance to loose his mother.

TigerLilyPad TigerLilyPad
3 Responses Jun 19, 2009

I can totally relate. I am going through the same thing and it is desroying our relationship. If he goes a day without calling he gets the whole "don't you love me anymore?" Makes me sick. She has a husband why not focus her energy on him and let her son grow up.

I'm glad to see your future husband supports you in this difficult situation. I hope his support does not diminish over time. Keep communication open and honest between the two of you and the extent of which you both are affected. <br /><br />

Good read,thank you for sharing.