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The Birth of My Son

By the time my son was ready to be born, we were more prepared for MIL. I completely had no idea about how she would behave when my daughter was born. MIL still surprized me though.

It seems my MIL, rather then seeing a pregnancy where a grandchild is going to be born as a wonderful event, MIL instead sees opportunity, opportunity to win by kicking someone while they are down. All you are pregnant to her is weak prey.

Things had changed quite a bit by the time we were pregnant with our son, first of all he was due in May so I was not pregnant during summer months at all, I found out I was expecting early September. We didn't see MIL as often anymore, we still saw her way often though.

The biggest thing that I remember is being overdue with my son, my husband went to the cottage where MIL was (2 hours away) to get some trim for the nursery as we were switching rooms and my daughter as moving into the bigger room and my husbands office was going downstairs. I start to get labour pains, so I call the cottage looking for my husband. I have my 2.5 year old by my side.

I get a very chipper MIL on the other end. I can hear her talking to my husband. I ask her if I can talk to him, tell her that I think I am in labour. MIL in a very sing song sort of voice proceeds to lie to me and claim that my  husband is not there. I say, but I can hear you talking to him, in her sing song voice she maintains that he is not there, but I can hear him there, I can hear her talking to him.

At this point I get frantic, I am in pain now, my daughter is beside me, MIL is refusing to give me access to my husband. I don't know what to do and cry because I don't want to deliver the baby without my husband there. I beg her, I am crying at this point, I am scared now. Nope...MIL not budging...

After a while of this, I realize this is no use, she is not going to give me access to my husband. So I hang up and try to calm down. The labour pains continued for a bit and then thankfully..

My labour pains slow down, false labour again (usually I wanted it to be real but not this time), my husband gets home a few hours later. I ask him where he was, and yep he was right there. MIL did not give him the message and if you ask her to this day, MIL will claim none of this happened.

Keep in mind here, MIL claims to be gushing, I mean gushing with love for me and my daughter and my son. But if she has all this love spewing out of her, how could she put my life at risk, the life of my newborn at risk and put my daughter in that situation. Had things turned ugly, how would my 2.5 year old have handled that?

MIL has no remorse over this and to this day maintains that she is nothing but an innocent victim who has done no wrong. I simply woke up one day, for no good reason and just decided out the blue that I just don't like her. MIL saying this and claiming this gets more ridiculous as time goes on, as you will read in stories to come.

So my beautiful son is born, and MIL shows up again with self inflicted face burns on her face, but this time she only has them around her eyes for some reason. We all ignored it this time, my husband did not even notice. Apparently since he grew up with her alway acting this way, he has just adapted to her behavior, there are things he doesn't even notice anymore.

You know how honey is not good for a new born baby?

MIL showed up at the hospital with 2 items. One was a cooler full of a herbal concauction, it was tea sweetened with honey. The other item was pancakes, honey pancakes with honey syrup all over them. MIL brought these in to the hospital, as calm as can be, took them out of her bag and plopped them on my hospital table, the table that is on wheels that they put your food on. MIL announced that these were honey  pancakes and then didn't say another word. I don't think she even tried to feed my daughter the pancakes, but she was trying to get her to drink out of the cooler. We told MIL to stop.

When MIL was about to leave, she ever so non chalantly picked up the pancakes and the cooler, packed them into her bag and left the hospital.

To this day....I still have no idea as to WHAT THE H3LL WAS THAT ABOUT? The only connection that I can make is that honey is not good for newborns. I retrospect I should have spoken to the nurse about having a member of the psychiatric team come up and ask MIL what this is about, hindsight is always 20/20 I guess.

During the time I was in the hospital, MIL tried even harder to take over my daughter moreso then anything else, my daughter was down, she felt so misplaced with the new baby. The last thing she needed was to be smothered by MIL, she needed me and my husband to show her how much we love her instead, and how she will always be so important to us no matter how many children come along. MIL hogged my daughter so much during this time, not what my daughter needed at all.

Good news was the PPD did not return for a second time, thank goodness for that. We did not let MIL near the new baby, not after the stunts she pulled with our daughter. Forewarned is forearmed I guess.

There has been another grandchild born in between my daughter and son, it is a girl and MIL hold her pretty steady. MIL even came to me with my neice in her arms and gleefully stated, "look....I don't hurt babies anymore!" I know LOVELY. Then one day when my husband was eating right behind him she grabbed my son, did the unsafe handle thing, looked at me with a smirk on her face, my husband turned around and took the baby back...this way maybe 5 seconds she had him, she grabbed him, I was not expecting it. Then MIL handed the baby back as if she was nothing but a loving gramma spewing love all around. You would never know what she just did.

To this day MIL is not really interested in my son at all, she is still obsessed with my daughter. I don't worry about her trying to abduct him as she could never pick him out of a group of kids, she cares that little.

The only time she pays any attention to him is when there are the rare family gatherings, the ones that are hard to get out of, and my husband watches our kids and MIL goes after them like a rabid dog, her mission is to hold them unsafely, my husband always tells her to leave the baby alone. But let me tell you as soon as he leaves, she dives for my kids, even my son who she cares so little for.

Next....antics in my sons first year of life.

Don't worry....this saga does reach the point of barely seeing her anymore...I promise....

 

 

AwayFromHer AwayFromHer 36-40 3 Responses Jul 10, 2009

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this women sounds like a total nut job. the way you decribe her is very scary. i totally agree with you about not letting her near any babies, your stories about her give me the shivers, i applaud you for being able to put up with her for so long! i know i couldnt! *shiver*

It is so weird, my husband and his brother have sort of accepted that this is how she is. My husbands exact words were, that if it were a normal woman she would behaved different then MIL did, but that MIL couldn't do the right thing.



I know that sounds like he is excusing her, but what he means is that it is not like MIL to do the right thing, it is not in her, she is just not a good woman...period.



He said that he has accepted who she is a long time ago and that he doesn't dwell on it he just does not expect her to act appropriately.



My husband has a pager, he doesn't want a cell phone. The nature of his work, he prefers the pager, but the page is out of area at the cottage, actually so is my cell phone, so the only way to get him is to phone.



I ended up calling a bunch of friends so that if he happened to stop in there on the way home they would give him the message.



MIL even after this, feels she has done nothing wrong. Just wait until I post about what MIL thinks the whole problem is....not her behavior at all....



I have so much to post about this woman..I could literally write a book with everything I have been through with her.

Hmmm...I think the pancakes were maybe her fake attempt at pretending to care about you. Does eating honey yourself actually affect the newborn if you are breast feeding?



If the woman inflicts wounds to herself then she definitely should never be left alone with any child. The fact that she thought you were in labor and she refused to let you speak to the hubby is unforgivable. Besides the danger factor he could have missed the birth of his child. Isn't he angry about that? Does hubby have a cell phone that he keeps on him at all times?