MIL Gone Babay Gone!

First, I'd like to say that I am lucky because she doesn't live with me. My heart goes out to those whose MIL lives with them. I had to put my life on hold for 6 weeks while she visited. Some of you have much much longer!

She presented us with the final bill....$1,050......I was very upset. She never once did anything kind while she was here. You'd think she'd shower her grand children with affection and gifts....but nothing! My hubby wanted to eat out a few times and I refused unless she paid. I finally told him to shut-up and listen to me. After 20 years he did shut-up and listen and I feel much better. I simply told him I was tired of her being a freeloader. We have 3 children to support and an iffy economy. I had been laid off in December and did not find another job for 3 months so that was a big loss of income for us, but to her it does not matter. I told him that it's very ugly of her not to ever step in and take us out to eat or any other random act of kindness. My mom is always taking us out, etc....

MIL claims to be penniless, yet she always had maids when my hubby was a kid and she did not work. According to the hubby all VZ have maids. His father was a doctor and was 34 years older than his mom. She obviously married for money. So I really doubt she is broke.

She left this morning and I pretended to be asleep so I wouldn't have to fake a sweet good-bye. Of course the hubby woke me up to ask for the code to the ATM machine, which he already knew. It's like he wanted to rub it in just to hurt me.

Anyway, I told him that in the future I think it best if he visits his mother in VZ. That way they can have quality time together without me there. She hates being around me and all the visits turn ugly. Also, since she has been dieing for the past 20 years it may help him deal with any guilt issues he has. He refuses to even consider doing that. I really thought I had a good idea there. Do you suppose he wants to milk the misery and put the guilt on me when she passes? 



MaryInFlorida MaryInFlorida
2 Responses Jul 11, 2009

The situation is like this. The kids get out from shcool and have something like 10 days off before summer camp begins. Then, they have another 10 days off after camp before school begins again. Unfortunately the kids have more time off then what we adults get in the form of vacation. So he always wants to bring her over to "help" with the kids for some of the time. Of course, she is no big help at all. And since she refuses to ask to be invited he has to invite her or she will not visit. When he extends the inviation she then complains over the cost of the ticket so he volunteers to pay for it. When I heard it was $1,200, and since she refused to take a cheaper flight, I haggled down to half the airfare. I mean what I can I do? He is so whipped by her and her stories of being broke. If I deny the money she will not visit and when she dies I will be forever punished by him for that. She did buy some things for us from VZ too and I still cannot figure out how she derived the cost of those items. So that is where the money went.<br />
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I had digested the $600, but the final bill nearly killed me. I don't want her back which is why I suggested he visit her over there. <br />
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Hubby's niece visited and she told me that she is very sick about the money...that she freeloads off of everyone. Also, her oldest son did not pick her up at the airport. Hubby bought her soty that is was too dangerous for him to go there. Can you imagine a son who knows his mohter is in danger and walks away? Well, I asked the niece and she said that he had no idea when she was returning.

Why did you end up giving your MIL money? I read your other post called "Karma" and I just dont understand why you and DH gave her money to begin with. When DH asked for the code to the ATM machine I would have gone off on him or better yet, cleared out the bank accounts while she was visiting so DH would have no access to your hard earned $ to give to her. <br />
I hope he does not send $ to her behind your back.<br />
I think the time has come to stand up to DH tell him to stop guilt tripping you over MIL and get over it. And tell him no more free rides on your dime for MIL ever.