I Can Not Use The Word Hate......but Dislike..hate Is A Strong Word My M.i.l



When you say you hate your M.I.L............I have the same feelings, but I refuse to say I hate her it will just give her more power over my emotions.

This is my story............Mommy Dearest was the nicest person to speak to over the phone and we got on like a house on fire, then I got very sick.

I had post natal depression that went Un- checked after giving birth two 7 month old premature girls, her only grandkids from her son my partner.

I had a stroke in delivery and my girls were very tiny and very ill, so we got flow to another town because where we live they do not have the medical equipment for premature deliveries. Then I have to stay in a town with no one I know alone with the twins because my partner had to return to work.

After 3 months we can go home and life is very hard for me with the twins and my sickness and them being prem, I have no family in this country as I immigrated to Australia from South Africa.

My next bombshell came after my father suddenly passed away and I had to return home to do my father’s funeral, I had so much stress I found life to be so hard and hardly had any sleep. My depression got so bad and I found myself in hospital, admitted because I put a noose around my neck and tried to take my own life.

I was really very sick, so my partner and I spoke because he asked if his mother should come over to help out, as we have spoken to her on the phone so many times I was not scared at all, I just needed a hand with everything, you know try and get myself well for my kids.

We rung the dreaded M.I.L ( mother in law) I spoke to her told her how sick I was, I told her I seem to loos the plot without warning and I do not want to offend her when this happens. She said I know all about depression I know what to do and we will all stand by you.

Now this is where my life completely turned into a living nightmare, and I though depression would be the most difficult thing to deal with, but NO the evil sceamer  that entered my home was not the nice old lady that used to speak to me on the phone!!!


The medication I was put on for depression was very hard core stuff, and as it takes up to 6 weeks for it to work in your system, all you can do is take it day for day.

Most days I was a walking zombie, I did not know if I was coming or going or anything for that matter, I mean even my partner could see how hard the medication was on me because he would find me sitting in the shower not being able to stand up by myself  on the medication makes you numb.

But within a week of the old bat being there, she already started on my partner talking nonsense in his ear, I did not know any of this, all that I found out much later when my partner approcouched me and said we need to separate. I will get to that latter.

I have an eldest daughter she was 19 back then, she work very hard, was in front line management in a top hotel where we lived. When she would come home at night and go to the fridge to get something to eat, the M.I.L would say I bought that don’t eat it, or don’t you think you’re a bit over weight, should you not eat less.

Or your bathroom is dirty, that is after M.I.L used it and would not clean it...........just nasty stuff, but me I was so out of it that I could not react to anything, then came the we going for a walk with Marc (my partner) but I was not invited.

This is now within two weeks of her being there, next thing my partner comes home after his walk with mommy dear and calls me to the lounge.

I went to see what he wanted and that when it all hit me like a sack of ****..............he said.......I think we should separate!!!!!

I just stood there looking at him?

I was not going to argue and I said if you feel things are not working then so we must separate, if we are not happy then we should not be together. So I asked him if he will help me get a house for me and the girls.

Did he not think he had the balls to say to me, No you are not taking the kids.............. Well I might be emotional sick but never and I mean never will I give up my kids without a fight.

So the dear mother in law got to see a side of this emigrant that is not good enough for her son, as she puts it....NO ONE SHOULD LIVE LIKE THIS, MY SON DOES NOT DESERVE IT.

If no one derves to live like this, then just imagen how hard it is for me to live with it myself.


Fair go woman, but she knew I was sick it’s not like I had been hiding it, why did he not leave before I got help, why wait until I am getting better,

how about kicking somebody when they down?

I told her to pack her $hit, and get out of my house, then I told him seeing that you have no back bone, a man of 40 that still listens to his mummy, you can crawl right back from where she thinks you are still attached and go with her.

I told her Elsie you gave birth to him over 40 years ago, they cut the cord back then, the man is 40 this is his 1st kids and I man a set of twins, now you want to step in and take it all away from me, I told her to get ready for a battle as I am not allowing them to do this to me.


This is 3 years later and I still will not talk to her, I have nothing to say to such and evil person, but I make sure I let her speak to the kids, I send her photos of how happy we are and how gorgeous her grand children are.

For Christmas got her one of those digital photo frames and put the most gorgeous pictures on of my partner and the girls with the song memories playing in the back ground. But the Cherie on the cake is right in the middle of the batch I put a picture of me my partner and the girls.

Last Christmas I had a kitchen clock with a picture of the girls in sent to her, now everyday she wakes up and has her coffee she can sit there looking at these beautiful grandkids that she almost destroyed due to her cold heartedness

Will I forgive her....never, do I hate her......I cannot say I do....I just hate her stature!

I believe I showed her I am a much stronger person then what she ever thought, she tried to take from me the last thing I held dear, but my will to fight for what Is mine was much greater than her evil personality.

You ladies just stay strong do not lower yourself to their level, being kind ****** them of so much more.............and me and her son we still going strong. But he also knows I will not stand for his ****, but one as to except others flaws as I have a great many flaws myself then move on.


Kindness is the greatest revenge





dettetynik dettetynik
41-45, F
3 Responses Feb 27, 2010

Wow, you are so inspiring. I love that!! "be nice to everybody while I am on this earth, as I do not want to be their neighbor in Hell". I think that is going to be my new slogan. I am truly glad you and your family are still together. I am glad your hubby chose you and your daughters.

What I keep saying to myself is, be nice to everybody while I am on this earth, as I do not want to be their neighbor in Hell

Wow! What a story. Sorry you went through that. Glad you and your husband are still together! I need to remember to kill my MILwith kindness because my MIL is the type that thrives off of misery. I'm a very outspoken person also, and that gets percieved as being a ***** sometimes, good for you that you didn't take her ****!