Everyone Else Loves Her...

From the time I was small, 4 or 5, I have hated her. Telling me of things I should not know. My fathers drinking and infidelities. My grandparents faults and craziness. My siblings reason or not for being born and loved or not loved. I should not have been privey to such things. I was far too small and little to listen to her rants but I was all she had, her "best friend".  I hated her, she did not get us off to school, she did not take care with us, she only loved a man who loved her only occasionally. But that didn't matter to her. We were not her concern, she just kept having more babies...or aborting when the need arose. And telling me all of it. I hated her.
Now she is old and still the same..I hate her. She thinks of nothing but the man whom she loved and never took the same care with her. He is gone now 10 years but that is all she thinks about. I hate her. I have grandchildren, she only pays attention occasionally. I hate her. My children have no grandmother, I hate her. Just like she did to me, she does to them. The world sees her as this wonderful, accomplished caring mother. I know better. I hate her. She is nothing of the sort. She is still the same self absorbed, selfish, whoring woman she always was. I hate her.
juicep juicep
51-55, F
1 Response Jul 14, 2010

My mother too reminices of how my father was a no good alcoholic abuser & has no time for her granchildren & wishesnow they are adults that I would just kick them out & care for her.My poor kids don't deserve this my father always wanted granchildren but died before having spent time with them.I spend as much time with my kids as I can without smothering them.