The Dreaded Visit

i live in ireland and am going to the uk to visit family soonmy parents are divorced and i will be staying with my father, my mother lives less than half a mile away in our childhood home and this visit i definatly dont want to see her in fact i am not going to see her.
it would be true to say the only thing my mother hasnt done to me is shoot me, shes beaten me with fists,wooden spoons,rolling pins, hurley sticks in fact anything close to hand, she has strangled me till i passed out whilst spitting into my mouth as i was gasping for air. then she would slap me till i regained concious and would then batter me because i had the cheek to pass out ,she would scream "dont you ever do that to me ever again".
if i could describemy mother honestly i would have to say she is like a deranged terminator as when she hitting me its like she is on a mission to kill me and she  will not stop until she is phsically exhausted and the look on her face is like something from the first exorcist film, the things she says and the way she says it is truly shocking. i dont evevn know how she can think up the things she says, let alone say it.
sometimes she would apologize "im sorry son but u make me do it to you".
i didnt speak to her for 12 yrs and can honestly say my life was brilliant, until a funeral bought us together, she made such a scene at the funeral it was embarrassing about how she scrimped and scraped and WENT WITHOUT and all all these other tales of misery and hardship that that she endured but this was all lies about things that never ever happened, the one good thing that came from that was that she burst her own bubble and people actually saw what i had to put up with all my life, shattering the illusion where everybody thought she was like mrs doyle from father ted.
her idea of going without is running out of ciggarettes, she expects us to give her 20 fagsas a kind of amittance fee to her house , sometimes i deliberatly didnt give them to her straight away and it wouldnt be long before she started". i have no money,****, phone credit etc". i dosent matter how many **** i buy her or how many of her bills i pay for she allways says she is skint even though she hasnt spent her own money. she will never admit to anything that she actually has done and believes all these stories that she tells me that never ever happened.she dosent drink but has a cupboard full of pills that she gets from the doctors, she dosent take them util she has diagnossed herself with another mystery illness so she get s more medication which she makes out shes needs for new msyterious illness. shedosent know to tell the truth. i really think she is mad.
cenobite cenobite
41-45, M
Jul 20, 2010