Living With A Bully Mother

My mother didn't want me.  She and my older sister bullied me and made fun of me.  They had a little song they originated and sang:  "WITCH way? who NOSE?" which they used to taunt me about my nose which was broken when I was three and fell out of a second story window.  They would sing it on the way to church, on vacations and generally any time they wanted to reduce me to tears.  My dad and brother didn't join in, but they did nothing to stop it either.  I can remember not wanting to get out of the car because my face was tear-streaked and swollen but my dad would threaten me with his belt if I didn't.
She would also make fun of my height telling me that I "towered over all of the boys" that she could always spot me (I am 5'9").  I was ashamed of my height and for years slumped over trying to make myself shorter.  Now all I have is a crooked back to show for it, but I do stand up straight and tall.  She and my sister would tell me that boys didn't like tall girls anbd that I would never have a boyfriend.
Now that mother is old, she gives all of the family heirlooms to my sister because she says I don't deserve them (which may be true because I pretty much stay away from them).  Then she tells her friends and family that she split everything up equally.  Please don't get me wrong, I don't want anything that reminds me of her, it's just that she misrepresents what she did and then lied about it.  She even tries to convince me how "fair" she has been with her valuables and belongings. 
The few times a year (holidays) that I have gone to my parents' apartment I have noticed that they have no pictures of my family.  The dressers and tables are covered with pictures of my sister and her family and my brother and his wife, but none of my children or family. 
I feel guilty because I know I am supposed honor my parents.  My dad will not cross her and so I find it difficult to have a relationship with him as well.  It wakes me up at night because I feel like God will never forgive me for not following this commandment but I just can hardly stand to be around her. 
I have honestly tried to love her but I just cannot.
oogler oogler
66 Responses Mar 6, 2011

I've been dealing with bullying from my both parents since I can remember. When I was younger my father used to be really mean to me and tell me that I am stupid, ugly and more hurtfull things. But he was an alcoholic, so that how he treated everyone, but me and my mom would take the most of this because we were leaving in the same house. Now, he moved and left me and my mother alone. My mom always treated me bad aswel. She always yelled, and whenever I had a fight with my cousins, she would always take their side. She called me names, insulted me like I've never been insulted by anyone. She literally told me that I'm nothing but s**t. Yesterday we had a huge fight and she got crazy mad that I took a clean towel from the drawer. She has this thing that we should save the new and good-looking towels only for when we have guests over. But I took one that wasn't that amazing. It was stained, but clean and I needed it for my face, since the other one got dirty. And she started to yell and tell me that I always take the good towels, she pushed me, and even threatened she would hit me, she called me names and told me that I'm exactly like my father. The look in her eyes was full of hatred. It kind of scared me, no one ever looked at me like that. Despite all that, I spoke as calmly as I could, but she still tought I was yelling, even though she was the only one who was yelling. She keeps telling me that she can do whatever she wants as long as she gives me food and shelter. I am an university student and I also go to nursing school, and having a job would make things very difficult. But I will find one, even though that means I will sometimes be forced to skip school to get to work. I can't stay with this woman any longer.

Omg I feel like I'm a new you I'm feel the same exact way as you felt my mum always and always would make fun of me with my weight and it hurts I want to die

I had a worse experience I have 4 other siblings 3 of them are older then me by atleast 10 years and their all boys and then I have a little brother who is a year younger then me I was the only girl out of all my siblings. Anyway when I was 4 or 5 my mum was so nice to me and so jolly and happy and then when I was 11 my mum and dad divorced because my dad had an affair with my mum's brothers wife and from then she started being really horrible she would call me stupid and complained about how being a single mum was hard and remember my 3 older brothers had left already since they were all adults they had their life and was doing their own things so they barely stayed in contact with us. And then 3 years later my mum got married to my step dad I hated my step dad he raped me once and I told my mum and she said I was lieing. and once my mum shaved my hair bald and that was right before the day I started 10th grade. so everyone at school laughed at me and all my friends ditched me and said I was a cancer freak it took a year for my hair to atleast grow back to shoulder length. and also my stepdad used to favour my little brother so did my mum my mum would always buy him cool things and never me and he could be chilling in his messy room and she would never complain but if I was ever in my room that was always clean she would always come and complain about something. the worst thing is my stepdad took my virginity away I was 16 and I was allowed to have boyfriends but if they ever came to my house my mum would always be rude or embarrass me making the boy not like me anymore and te worst thing is my little brother went to the same school as me and he would tellmy mum everything I did at school and whenever I told him a secret he would always tell mum and my mum would always slap me on the head or in the face and my older brothers didn't care they were living their lives they were always treated nicely by mum. the only person I could trust was my dad I told him about my stepdad but nobody believed my stepdad did that. I had no choice I had to live with my mum my dad was an alcoholic that lived in a flat. My childhood SUCKED!

*sigh* Sensitive, sweet soul..
You need a release for your pain & suffering. That's first thing. You can't move forward and let genuine love flow without first cleansing your spirit of that inner turmoil. It took me years (and still to this day, I cry for our relationship) to reconcile with my mother. We are not buddies, though we have a civil, respectful relationship. I've accepted that it may never be like I've always wanted it. However, I will honor my mother from afar. You can love someone from a distance, but in order to love the way God (probably) would want you to, clear your spirit of the mud. Ask for forgiveness from Him, forgive yourself, and finally move on from it. Don't dwell on it. This is no overnight process and everyone has their own way of healing and dealing. I couldn't possibly tell you word-for-word how to go about the process, but just know that I'm sending you love & light energy for your healing. I hope this helped, and I wish you the best luv.

i thought my mom's bad always nagging and criticizing me for not having a man that makes as much money as she wants even though i myself am quite financially successful. she also used to make fun of my round face. i exploded at her and she's not talking to me today lol

My mom lies and dose not let me in on thing but allways dose special things with my brothers my dad loves me that I know but wow your mom is just wow I'm so sorry I'll be praying for you. :)

the only way you can honor you parents is if they honor you

My mom & dad are both bullies. As she told me proudly, when she was little she always enjoy bullying her classmates who were poor and stupid, and it was fun to her because she was a popular kid. When I was little, she always hit me just because of small mistakes. Mostly because I was the smarter one in the family and she hated it. She never bought me any nice dress, shoes and accessories. I spent my early school years being bullied by my classmates because I looked so poor. When I was a teenager, she never taught me how to do make up and stuffs. I didn't look pretty enough because of that and she sometimes called me ugly. Thank God I grow up and now I'm a lot prettier compared to her when she was my age (she can't ever call me ugly anymore). She's still a bully until this day. My Dad has another story. He was raised by non loving parents and he was their slave. I don't think he ever loved me and my siblings. I think he might expect us to be slaves (just like he was) but it will never happen. Both my brother and I are a little bit rebellious. That's not too bad I think. I've never done drugs or anything really bad in my life.

After I had my own family, I forgotten about the emotional hurt inflicted upon me as a kid. My mom and sister made fun of my weight (called me "Baby Huey"), made fun of my crossed eyes (before they were corrected) and other things like exclude me from their conversations, love, jokes, etc. If my sister started a fight with me and I fought back, my mom would tell me I shouldn't fight her (but it was fine if she ripped my hair out or kicked my shins and bloodied my face).

When mom got remarried during our teens, my stepfather showed my sister special treatment, and my mom and stepfather put her in modeling classes for a short time. They promised to put me in some class but never did fulfill their word.

Later, my sister had children first. During family gatherings, I was invisible. My sister was treated as some fertility goddess. A few years later, after I had two of my own kids, my kids got some attention and conversation from my stepfather while mom retreated to kitchen to smoke. I never connected with her and that connection was what me and my kids were seeking.

I am now disowned by my mother. After my stepfather passed away, she had me and my kids move in to help with money. When my kids showed normal signs of life, such as talking, laughing, etc., my mom labeled it as inappropriate and told me to get the **** out. Me and my kids had just escaped domestic violence situation from my ex-husband, so I knew to get out right then, it would not get better. No contact with her since, though I tried to talk to her at my aunt's. My mom acted as if I was the most evil and vile person and left my aunt's crying (creating drama).

I believe she has a personality disorder of some sort. It hurts at times that I do not see my mom or sister, but I am healthier emotionally without the abuse and craziness.

wow i feel sorry for you

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There is a difference between hate and dislike, kind of. If your family has been unfair to you, I think it's best to avoid visiting them because even though that may be unfair too, it might wake them up and make them see how whatever we do we get it in return. It's the same with liars. If we lie and get discovered that we lie, then it should be reasonable that we won't be trusted or believed in anymore, no matter how much we may sometimes or start meaning it and no matter how true, how serious it can be, and how necessary it is to know about it all due to the fact that we lied. Another example is when the African Americans were discriminated against there were boycotts and those who hurted the African Americans got hurt too, not physically but economically which jeopardizes their possibility to maintain themselves and to even continue owning the house, so they had no choice but to stop discriminating against the African Americans to be able to continue maintaining themselves. So whether we like it or not, we still get to deal with the consequences for our actions, and if you avoid visiting your family and even refuse to say hi to them whenever you see them, it will hurt them, but not physically and as I already said they might think about how badly they treated you, or they may judge you in their brains and just complain but one thing for sure is that our unlearned lessons are more likely to be learned after we pass away and hopefully we have learned all of our lessons by judgement day. So this day is the day for you to start over and fresh and leave behind everything that bothered you in the past, and you will surely live happily.

my mother is incredibly overbearing. she constantly makes jabs about how I talk, how I walk, what I wear, and I eat. When I used to cry when I was a child because it would hurt me (this started when I was 10) she would call me a 'wuss' and 'overly-sensitive". whenever I was sick she would belittle and tell me it's my fault I'm sick, and that I was weak. this was for everything, from headaches to viruses.
she's gotten used to the term "abnormal" now. whenever i do something she doesn't like, she calls me that.
I don't know what to do anymore, when I was younger it used to severely affect my self esteem , and now , that I'm an adult and realise it's not my fault the way she thought about me. but she still continues. and I just dont want to be apart of it anymore.

I used to genuinely think there was something wrong me. I didn't like eating infront of her because it was just too stressful.

My mom is a bully to she calls my a selfish brat and makes fun of me all the time for the littlest things like how I dress (hipster kind of) and swears at me and I can't do anything about it cause if I do my mom will hit me she's done it before I mean my mom is a police officer I would think she wouldn't be like that cause they get calls about parents miss treating their kids but no so stay strong and your not alone

Your family is toxic, and missing all the components and behaviours that make people human. Cut all ties; you deserve to be happy and free, your children need that from you and you have no obligation to people who cruelly and maliciously mistreated you all your life and continue to do so. For your own mental, physical and emotional health, GET OUT from under and stay out. God loves you and there is nothing to forgive. Don't underestimate this love He has for you. Don't reject this gift, embrace it. You are greatly loved.

So sad. I'm in my 50's too and by now, I thought my mom would have thrown off the evil in her but she had yet. You can honor your parents from afar. Your post ( although three years old now) does not contain a hint of bitterness, only disappointment and heartbreak as well as longing. The bible charges parents to not exasperate their children among other things. Sometimes I don't get why God let these women be our mothers, I feel ripped off but maybe that draws us closer to Him and we find unconditional love. Still, it would have been nice to have a mom who was sincere and not phony, double minded or an outright bully. Google FAMILY SERIAL BULLY and be enlightened and healed. It is NOT you. It is their own inferiority that causes them to do this for life. nothing you can do to change it. honoring them IS loving them from afar, forgiving them from afar and not engaging in disputes. God DOES know your heart and refuge in his forgiveness and love. I do. It's awesome. Leave them to their own misery.

Dear bullied ,, bless ur sweet heart! Nothing could be worse than the people who are supposed to honor and love u unconditionally and protect u from any harm are the ones terrorizing you. Let me tell u something a very spiritual person said to me, just because u were born to someone or with someone does not mean they deserve ur honor or respect. These people are very very sick and u do not have to honor or respect anything about them. All u have to do if ur parents and siblings are not worth honoring is go to your next father, your Heavenly Father. God also said that children are. Gift from God and they are to be loved and cherished. That is not happening for you. Don't u dare let anyone tell u that u have to honor or be a doormat to family just because u were born into it! U r a child of God and he made u to be loved and cherished as he sees u!! They are jeleous and envious and those are two friends of the devil!! Jealousy and envy live deep in the heart of the devil and he loves it when someone is hurt by these two evil monsters!! U just keep looking to God For love and hopefully u have a wonderful husband and children. Live for their love!! Forget those horrible people. Never go back and never let them take up anymore of your precious time. Soon enough they will have to stand before God for their judgement and they will have to answer when he asks, ' why did u treat my precious child with hate and why did no one stand up and protect her!?' Then he will cast them out to suffer as they made u suffer! Live your life in spite of them!! Be beautiful and joyous and free!!

I have a similar story. But not as bad. My mother tells me everyday that I'm too fat or lazy. Or if I try to tell her how I feel, she will tell me I'm a jerk or just get real upset at me and look with those "you should feel really guilty" eyes. My little sister is a problem too. She beats me up and says so many things. But when I fight back, I'm the one who gets in trouble. My mom is super involved in school lige and when I have below an A, she flips out. She blames my teacher for decrease and she blames herself for letting us watch tv diring the weak. But the only reason I can think of is all the stuff going on at home. This story gave me hope for when I finally get out of my horror house. Thank you so much.

"I am supposed honor my parents" is not for people who are NOT parents, and giving birth to a baby does not automatically grant someone parenting abilities. A woman ridiculing her own daughter for a nose that would not have happened if she were cared for properly, is NOT a mother. I have disowned my mother because of her own inability to take responsibility for the horrific things she has done and cannot apologize for. Forgiveness should only be granted to those who ask for it, and it doesn't sound as if your mother minds a bit.

My used to tell me that I was worthless and that it was better for her to not have kids. She humiliates me and my other siblings evey time she gets a chance. She slapped me once when we had a family vacation and told every one I was being a little *****.
I didn't get a hug or a kiss from her, not even one. When I try to defend myself I would get spanked and got locked in a room by myself. She won't let me out until I promise to not ever do that again.
Everyone got gifts when they turned 16, I got a black eye and a swollen knee. She humiliated infront of my friends and I fought back.
I just turned 23. I now have a stable job and a house away from her and I'm never coming back.

I hate my mum wish I could run away she horrible

My mum is like that too. My sister is the worst for it. Makes me want to rip their hair out but there's nout I can do. Don't get me wrong, you're in a worse situation as me. But I understand where you're coming from. Just the other day my sister said I was nasty and no wonder I have no friends. What she doesn't know is that every comment she makes breaks me a little inside. I have many friends - if not too many! But she doesn't know me at all so tries to point out my weaknesses, saying that you could play dot to dot on my forehead because I'm quite spotty. I'll never forgive her for what torture she's put me through and I hope you find enough strength to confront your family about it. My heart goes out to you, it really does. 😊

This is so sad to read. My mother is a bully too but maybe not quite as bad as these stories, although ita still made an emotional scar on me. Please check out for some relief and eye opening, and support, and advice. It has really helped me feel like its not ME that isnt good enough, its my mother's own issues and pschology.

My moms emotionally bullying me and singles me out ans treats me like Cinderella. I go to sleep crying at night afraid if I'm going to wake up the next morning due to such stress and other household people and problems..what do I do...

Wow this completely sounds like me and my situation. Im a introverted, non confrontational person..why the bullying is all I wanna know..its like im talking to a screaming wall when I try and find out...can't handle this anymore.

I have a similar story with my mom and older sister. My mom wanted a boy and I don't believe she wanted me or even likes me. Children can feel this without being told. I also hope God isn't dissapointed in me for not liking her, but I can't stand being around her. My sister is constantly tries to keep my mom on her side and I don't know why, because I don't want her. Now that my mom is getting old and needs somewhere to live, suddently my sister is trying to get her to live with me but is interested in renting out her house. My sister is a major manipulator. The thought of living with my mother despresses me.

Hi there. I just wanted to say a few words because I want you to be able to move on with your life. I won't be saying I can relate to you, because the truth is... I haven't had similar experience in "family"... although I feel like telling you that I think you are a Good person, and because you by telling your story have refused to accept that behaviour. You know they are nothing like you. You may be by blood but you are not related in certain respects, and you will evolve above this eventually... whatever you chose to do and believe. You will learn and know that material possessions and money are a part of life but they are not the be all or end all and you will not be controlled by them or affected by their callous decision to make a cloudy attempt at stifling your happiness. You will make your own way in life and be stronger (than can be known) because of it. You do not have to love them, for you have probably already done all you could and so may decide. You may show them that you love yourself and your family and care not if they realize it. Take care of yourself now, and by allowing yourself the proper judgement of the company you keep... in whatsoever you may mean well, make sure to not give away the rest of yourself that can be kept for yourself. I trust you can make the steps to higher ground.

God also wants you to Love Yourself.
Continuing to subject yourself to your "mother" is Self-Abuse. So why continue to do it?
Tell her how you feel If she continues her abusive behavior - than why go back for more abuse?
If you choose to forgive her, it does not mean you must continue to allow her to mentally abuse you, and make you miserable.
God would not want that.

i hate bully mother and father

Forget honor, keep these people out of your life.

i'm the only kid in the family and my family means only me and my mom. yet we don't get along and she started hitting me when i was 7, she quit doing that about 4 years ago (I'm 22 by the way). and still we can't understand each other and she always keeps me away from my friends and the other family. it's kind of her thing, keeping me away from world outside and ruining my plans

You are a grown adult. No one can keep you from reaching out to family and friends.
You deserve to peruse these relationships.
It is hard to stand up for yourself when you have been beaten down, but you are your own person.
If you are still living at home, and she is paying the bills, you may have to live by (most of) her rules.
Keep your head held high, and pursue your independence in a positive way. Good Luck

oh dear I have been throught the same when I was 12 my mom made fun of me in front of my friends they start teasing me I feel so much hate for her deeply

First of all let me say that I feel for you. I also grew up and suffered in an abusive home. It's very difficult to change or even understand an abusers mindset. So all I can say is love the people around you who support you. And love God and love yourself. And when the Bible says honor thy mother and father. It means to honor them for giving you birth. You should forgive them but it does not mean that you have to have a relationship with them. Have no fear if you have Christ in your heart you'll be forgiven. Good luck and God bless.


Dear friend,
You are not alone. There are a million similar cases out there including mine. I have a peciuliar type of narcissist for a mother who is totally self absorbed, handles people with money and / or guilt because nobody can stay near her any other way. She also shows a clear prejudice in favor of my brother merely based on the fact that he is male and i am female. Although she always declared how beautiful i am and how much she loves me, her actions and comments suggested otherwise. I don't know which is worse having an openly and clearly hostile parent or having somebody that pretend that love you while in fact uses you, lies to you and undermines your every effort with desrespect behind your back. As for the love we feel for them dispite their mean attitude this is because we are good people. But we don't have to love them. Check the book of alice miller, phychoanalyst. Best regards. A friend from Greece.

I know what it feels like...
My mom tries to tutor me at math, but whenever she starts to do it, she gets pissed like INSTANTLY, even though I've only done the mistake once or twice. Today, she told me to "shut up" which is the worst she has said to me.
You may think it's nothing, but it really hurt my feelings.

Such a lot of pain on here. Suggest locating the book, "Toxic Parents" and read it cover to cover even if you think a chapter doesn't apply to you. Then explore EFT/Tapping, and Reiki healing. It took me years to address within myself the issues of my mother's abuse (which sometimes still crops up even though she's dead- the script is in my head), but Reiki took me further in two hours than I got in 10 years. EFT/Tapping is also very helpful, and then finding positivity (why you experience it, and what to do with it such as Abraham-Hicks), and knowing you can get beyond that is immensely powerful. Good luck everyone.

You have done your best. I believe that is all that is asked. The fact you did not hit the door and keep moving when you turned 18 says much about your desire to "honor" your parents. It is hard to forgive someone who is still hurting you.
That you don't go around and set people straight about the situation takes great maturity. Forgive yourself my dear. Move on.

Im not tryna **** anyone off or anything, but most of these stories I found on here, are just a bunch of girls over reacting about their mother taking crap away from them, and when they see sumthing "accidental" that their mother has done, they look at the past and remeber all the BAD things their mother has done to them. I think most of these people on here are just a bunch of cry babies and need to grow up, because i grew up without a mother... U guys just need to relax. And Like i said, not tryna **** anyone off, but it is true

i undersrand you say most and not all but whether you have a mother or not there are those who have genuinely terrible mothers- its like someone who says they dont have a husband/wife that those who do and complain about them are just whining needlessly- it is possibly true and hw statistically true from the submitted claims on this website- i dnt knw -it is true people use these excuses bcoz they are too coward to solve their simple problems- but we miss the reality for those who are genuine

<p>I have a mother that I thought loved me until this year. I started to "grow up", wearing makeup, etc., and started to detach from her. She had always told me that she would love me no matter what I did, but now it's clear that was a lie. Lately I have stopped doing frequent chores and procrastinating some things she asks me to do. No big deal, all kids do that. But she then flips, not letting me do ANYTHING. She will never buy me anything (I have been wearing the same pair of shoes for over 5 months) claiming that I'm a total brat and I dont deserve it. Yet my brother does nothing to help out and he gets new clothes every month. According to her, I'm just too much of a monstorous brat to deserve anything. She calls me fat, telling me to get my big *** off the computer and clean the bathroom. I'm not popular at school, so she tells me that I have no friends because I'm so nasty. <br />
She never lets anything go, never lets me forget anything I've done wrong. She always treats my brother so much better than me and it's really obvious. Her actions have cause my Social Anxiety to get really bad, I literally can't even be around my Aunts or Uncles without being nervous that I'll do something wrong.<br />
The worst part is, I've told her that I'm depressed, I've confronted her about everything. She just makes it into a big joke, laughing whenever I saw anything, being sarcastic at whatever I say. She hits me if I "**** her off" and broke the keyboard to my laptop when she found out I got on her computer. After my keys flew off, she said "Oops." She's seen the cuts on my wrists, seen me cry. She hasnt done a thing about it.<br />
I just started "running away", just walking with no real destination. I left at 6 pm and didnt get home until 8:20. She was on the couch watching tv.<br />
I honestly want to die, I have nobody at home or at school. Anywhere i go I'm tormented and teased. I always felt like I was the only one going through this. But now I know I'm not.</P>

Your "mother" is an abusive, psychopathic *****. She loved you when you were her prepubescent pet, but now that you are have interests and priorities that have nothing to do with her, her narcissistic *** can't handle it. Most likely, she's jealous that you are turning into a young, beautiful girl that she knows she will never be again. That ****** her off. That's why she doesn't hate your brother like she does you. Also, she most likely (tell me if I'm wrong) turns the rest of your so-called family against you too? The way you say that you are anxious about being around your aunts and uncles make me think that ~she~ (your ***** "mother") is afraid of what ~her~ relatives/family might think about her? ~she~ is probably as insecure as she constantly seeks to make you. About the physical abuse--go to the police/authorities. If it has actually happened, reporting it can only mean things getting better for your. Of course the coward that is your "mother" would want to hide this, say such things as "what happens in this house stays in this house" (as did the **** that called herself my mother, who can rot in her own **** in a 3rd rate nursing home as far as I'm concerned). Long story short, you have no mother, and quite frankly, you have no family--(had you, they would have defended you against this ****.) The best you can do is cut your losses, understand that this "person" how crapped you out is dead to you, and live your live to the fullest. Know that doing so, you will be so much happier that this ***** ever will or ever has been.

i dont know whats wrong with her she messes with my emotions way too much. One minute shes nasty the next shes nice.....but really i think she does it because her parents would whip her and her siblings with a belt if they did something wrong, but that was back in like 1960. And its really too hard to accept the fact that I will never have real parents, I just can't deal with it. I will never have the mother giving me useful advice, the dad that calls me his princess and would do anything for me. And I even wish I had a normal brother, he is basically mute when mom's not around because 99% of what he says is chiming in to her beating me down. Yes, I have realized she only wanted a puppet and never really loved me. And thank you for replying, it seriously means alot.

omg i cant believe a mom would do that stay strong you are great but the hard part is making sure you and your kids dont become anything like her

I myself have a bullying mother. When I was born, she "knew something was wrong with me". She never truly embraced me as her own daughter or my sister (I am a twin). For most of my life, she has embarrassed me countless times in front of her guests; tormented me with cruel comments; purposefully lied to me and my sister in attempts to turn us against my own father (and him against me and my sister); and so many other things that I can't think of right now! One time when I was 16 or 17, she told me I would make a horrible house wife because I was not interested in learning how to cook and was not a fan of cleaning. Yes mom, I aspire to be a house wife when I am living on my own anyways (not!).
I am 22 years of age. Unfortunately, I was undecided about what I wanted to do career wise which set me back a couple of years with regards to graduating from college, getting a decent-paying job, and getting the heck out of my house for good. When I am able to (which will be ASAP), I will move out and will have minimal contact with her. I will contact my father on a regular basis (whom I have a very positive relationship with) but she will have minimal contact with me until she learns to treat me as the wonderful person I am.
I agree we should respect our parents as they did raise us, give us food, etc. but we do NOT owe them our lives nor should we have to put up with bullying B/S (they did afterall CHOOSE to have us, or keep us [if conception occurred as a result of an accident lol]). It is one thing for parents to set rules and expectations upon us in the form of chores, curfews, and setting REASONABLE limits on what is and isn't "allowed". Perhaps some "nagging" or "teasing" in a playful manner should be expected too as long as it does not hurt or drain you. It is entirely something different if parents (in this case, a bullying mother) demand things from you, bully you, harass you again and again about things, deliberately embarrass you in front of others, put you down, etc.
I have tried telling some friends about my mother's behavior and all some think of is "she is your mother, it is expected of her to behave this way" and some have even said I am some kind of free-loading spoiled brat who gives her parents crap. What, since when is me being upset about my mother's bullying ways and not putting up with it being a free-loading spoiled brat?!
At the end of the day, I don't think me trying to talk to her about it will do me any good, as she is also very prideful and is certainly not at the point in her life where she wants to change. I could talk to her and "get it off my chest/shoulders" yet having the discussion with her will be very emotionally and mentally draining for me and I know this with a lot of certainty.
My advice for everyone who reads this? If you want to talk to your mother about her behavior and believe it will help, do so. If you don't believe it will help at all, do your best to either ignore her atrocious behavior and/or find a way to get the heck out ASAP. For short-term purposes, try to have as many social connections outside of the house as you can; this can be a challenge if you are shy and/or an introvert such as myself but it can be done, trust me!

My mother plain hates me. She tries to convince all the members of my family to hate and loath me. She is so mean and evil sometimes I fear my own thoughts... I know she had a rough childhood and that my grandfather was abusive, cruel and machista towards her for being a woman and the first child, but it doesn´t mean she can bully me all the time just because she hates her own father. Right know I don't want to kown anything about her, I try to ignore her because when she talks she always belittles me by comparing me to other "successful" people I don´t even know or heard about and that´s her most used bullying strategy. I hope she someday would change a little, until then I'm living a nightmare. Thank God I have a girlfriend that loves me. I really need to be SINCERELY LOVE without it what is life reduced to MONEY, SEX, TV, OPRAH, BEYONCE... life would be worthless.

I could not agree with you more when you say "I know she had a rough childhood and that my grandfather was abusive, cruel... but it doesn't mean she can bully me all the time..." My mother is a very insecure woman who wasn't that well-loved (or rather, was given much affection as a child and is the youngest of 10) growing up. I find it outrageous when people believe we should have to put up with parents' bullying ways because they put a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, shoes on our feet, food in our stomachs, etc.; they did after all choose to have us (we did NOT choose to be born). We are not meant to be born as punching bags or as slaves to our parents. We are meant to be born as their precious children and meant to be raised as loving, giving adults who do something to help the world one way or another.

It is one thing to have chores, rules, etc. set upon us while we are living with our parents. Does this mean we should have to put up with taunting, bullying b/s? No! I am glad that your girlfriend cares about you. I can certainly say being in a loving relationship greatly helps when life at home is a living nightmare as you put it.

I believe people like us who see through our bullying parents' ways (in this case, bullying mother in accordance with the story's topic) and rise above it will be better off in the end, so long as we don't turn out like them! As long as we rise above this, we will be successful in whatever endeavors we are on.

I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors, especially in the rough times in dealing with your abusive mother.

Blessed be,

My mom bullies me too. She wasn't always like that -- I was so close to her when I was young. But she has something negative to say everytime she sees me, I'm not joking. On the computer? I need to go for a run. Going for a run? I'm crazy for running on the road. I'm only a teenager and she still reduces me to tears and blames me for my own depression. My brother does nothing about it, and he's just as lazy as me, but is my mom's favorite because he has a 99 average in school and doesn't have a social life like I do. I can't stand her. When she forces me to stay home on weekends I hide in my room and do my best to defend myself from her words, but it's not enough at times. I pretty much live in my room and in my own thoughts and I can't wait until I can leave.

i have a bullying family,can u imagine that i had to deal with 5 people.They used to bully me whenever they see me.Always making fun of me,everything my looks,my marks ,my friends everything which connects to me.My sister used to spy me and used to ask me things by becomming nice and then used to disclose my secrets or anything to my mom.My father is always do what my mom says and alwaays defend brothers they are the monsters who makes happy when i cry.Now i am married living in another city,but now away from their clutches.Now i knew that there are a number of people who have lived or living such nightmares which i lived..God has blessed me very happiness.I struggled in my life.i only thought of one thing to study and work hard.That's the only way to get out of their control.My mom still belittles me,my sister still teach me that ur hubby is not good with u,he wil leave u etc etc..(So that i end up in divorce and come back to their home like a looser.No i will make my own decisions and will not listen to them who never think good of me)So make urself strong,work hard ,win over ur fears .U must have somethnig which ur brother dont have,maay be u can sing better,may be u can play instruments anytnig.Excel urself in what u think u have.These narcisstic moms get jealous when their daughters become independent.Dont end up urself n wrong people.People putside of ur home who will only pray u for their satisfaction and then leave u in ur misery..Outside of ur home there are mnay evil vultures who pray such people who are broken,depressed and finding an emotional support..Focus on urself and ur strengths.Stop wasting time in confronting her and crying.Now i dont need my family.I am strong and happy than ever.

Family bullying is the worst especially when they get a sick gratification from hurting you. KNOW this for life: when anyone is that critical of you, they are projecting their own self loathing onto you. It is a sickness you DO NOT have to fix...good that you see it so early and that you are shielding yourself from those evil words. Know those words uttered are more if what she thinks of HERSELF than you.

That's so cruel.My mom is so mean to me.When I'm upset and trying to get over something she'll keep biting and bringing it back up.She lives on my brother more than me.She torchures me.When I'm sad and need a moment she pushes me and yells at me to go into the school.She'll roll her eyes at me when I want a hug or kiss.My mom has taken her anger out on me and she'll get nasty at me and make fun of me because I'm sensitive.Sometimes I try to defend myself and she'll scream at me.I made her breakfast once.She only took a bite before telling me to go throw it out.She'll taunt me and rudely imitate me when I'm crying.I am crying as I type.

This ***** is jealous of you potential. She's is jealous of the beautiful woman that you are becoming, that she will never be again. But she does not know that she is the worst, most loathsome, most miserable creature--the woman who has a daughter who hates her, (because she has deserved that hate). For every insult ~she~ hurls toward you, it is her insecurities. For every cruel thing ~she~ says, know that it is because she hates herself. For every time ~she~ tries to cripple you by telling you of your failings, know that ~her~ greatest failing has been as a mother, and that the best thing you can/will do is to get, emotionally/physically away from this *****. Good luck. You have your whole life ahead of you.

My mother used to do the same like throwing of the meal which i cooked.U know she throw my shawl which i bought for her from my Ist salary and then slap me on my face this is what cheap thing u bought for me.She haates me because i confront her.I used to ttell her that whateveru r doing is wrong.U never hugged me,never kissed me and then she says that because I hate u.I only ask her for love but there was no love for me.For 25 years i waited her to be changed,treat me like she treats other children.But no she never changed.never.So i changed and tell myself that dont cry and make ur own way out of this mess.But outside my home i found people self centered,selfish who needs money,girl,fame but not friend.So I decided to study much harder than before.And now i am away from them .married,happy and living a peaceful life without any sarcasm and bullying (which used to be the part of my everyday life).Good luck..use ur brain,patient and think of urself .

There are two things that happen when one grows up with terrible parents. One, you yourself become a terrible parent, or two you completely change the flow of things and love your child unconditionally. I think everyone here who has been hurt on such a deep emotional level will have a healthy, supportive and beautiful relationship with their own children. God Bless.

I've been very fortunate , my mother is my best friend, we are very close and I'm very lucky, qiv read all your stories and it breaks my heart all your mothers treated you the way they did, I had a wicked step mum growing up, she would get drunk and say very nasty stuff to and about me to others, she was very jealous of my mum, I just felt sorry for my step mum and she would never have what me and my mum have as she can't have children. I'm now a mother myself and my little boy is my world. I feel for all of you that didn't have the mothers love you deserved

I hope you read this. I have also been bullied by my mother and didn't even realize it until lately. Doesn't matter the age, you should confront your mother about this. Remind your mother the things that she has done and then tell her how they made you feel. Odds are that your family didn't bully you on purpose but because of ignorance. Although confronting your mother may not change her, it'll lift some weight off your back (because you have confronted the problem). To be realistic, your mother may never change but you yourself have to clean your mind and soul from all this damage caused through all these years; so speaking to an counselor may help you a lot. Whoever tells you "you HAVE to forgive your mother" it's normally not a good person to listen to. A person who understand will try to look from your side and your mother's side. I personally don't think you have to forgive your mother, but it'll be best for you to forgive and try to forget about all the damage caused. Good luck, and don't feel alone in this situation.

Why should you honor a big bully who has tormented you for years?

I understand your problem and know your problem very well, I have a mother who says the most harshest words and acts inconsiderate. How she insults me without thinking twice whether about the words she said, or complaining about all the money she spent back when I was kid, or she complains before that I spent too much time with my dad but whenever I needed something she'd say go ask your father (they're divorced). Imagine living with parents using you for money and even now I'm grown-up she still continues it. The most harshest word she ever said was you don't deserve anything, or that one time when I was crying she shouted at me saying "Baliw ka na ba!" which means are you crazy? I wish I had some advice for you but I also experience what you exp, please know that you are not alone.

God I understand, my mothervmakes me feel like a piece of ****. My sistervmakesvfun of me to

I don't hate my mother, but sometimes it's hard to be next to her. I want to be that perfect child, but I can't. She pushes me away,likes he doesn't need me. Then she complains I'm not there for her. I am an only child, and my whole life had just been filled with lies and confronts. If she could of been even a little supportive, even attend my plays and field trips once, it would of made my day.
But she's a grown up. It's what they do. And I love my mom and dad more then anyone or thing in the world. I really, REALLY do.
But I feel like a mistake.

You are not a mistake! Please do not feel this way, Harsh Hugs. The only mistake being made here is HER treating you the way she does. The truth to the matter is, everyone in this world (even the worst people) has the potential for greatness. We are part of a collective consciousness and every little piece contributes on many levels. We are small in the big scheme of things but we also have a big impact, whether we know it or not!
This is going to be depressing to hear but there's a very good chance it is the truth: you cannot and will not be that perfect child you aspire to be. No matter what you say or do, you cannot change how your mother treats you or how much she "loves" you. You could probably be a very successful business owner and still would not be happy with you. Nothing is going to be good enough for her.
Do not focus on what will make HER happy or what will make HER love you, focus on what makes YOU happy and what makes YOU love you. There is where you will find true happiness. If your mother does not see the wonderful person that you are, that is HER loss not yours!

I hope what I have to say proves to be of help to you and doesn't offend you. My intention with my post is to try helping you see that you aren't worthless or a mistake and that you have something to contribute to this world. I hope that one day your mother changes and sees you in a more positive light.

I wish you the best of luck on all your endeavors and if you rise above her cruelty and the pain she puts you through (I believe you will), you will be quite successful in life.

Blessed be,

hi.. i'm 12 years old and my whole family bullies me.. one time i was gonna self harm myself but then I thought of God and didnt... I hate my family. I dont know why God puts me through pain and tears everyday. they dont realize what they are doing to me.. im only a kid.. a girl. they call me fat, ugly, hairy, big butt, and ugly hair. they always talked bad about me to outsiders. they break their promises at me. they yell at me when I ask something so nicely. But they treat my brother like a king. when my bird escaped accidently and died somewhere when he was a baby, my brother and mom just laughed at me and told everyone else and they laughed at me too. i feel like running away. i cant stand to live in this household.

I understand your pain...
My mother points out everything I do wrong all the time. Sometimes, she'll get my brothers and sisters to gang up on me as well and join in the abuse. They'll call me unreliable, undeserving, stupid, untrustworthy, even when I've done absolutely nothing wrong. Sometimes, I'll just walk into my house and I'll get insulted.
I guess all we can do for now is just try to isolate ourselves from them as much as possible, maybe find an excuse not to be in the house as much, and hope we're still in one piece by the time we're old enough to move house...

WOW. It's like you are living my life. This is exactly true for me too. I am in college now and no way to actually move. All I keep saying to myself is 2 more years, 2 more years, 2 more years heeh

Man, I'm going to give my opinion. The fault is not yours, it's your mother and sister. They sang that horrible song, made ​​you mourn them, they made ​​fun of you. They should apologize. If your mother does not have pictures of your family, is why do not you consider your family. And you should talk. You should yell even. You should tell your mother that you did not deserve that, and if you do not want to you as a child, to commit suicide, because you are their child.

And as for your sister, does the same thing with your m, mother talk, even gritense. If your mother gave her most of the family inheritance, you should tell him how you feel about that. Do not go away, just talk with them, be together, shout, insult, as they want, but talk about it. Tell them how you feel and if you miss a blow to your mother or your sister is fine, because they deserve it and also you are defending and expressing

Hi I'm 41 years old bachelor (boy or man, you decide :P), my mother has been bullying me for the last 41 years, my father, brother and sister have bullied me off and on alongwith her. My mother made me cook, wash utencils, do odd jobs for entire family etc. She sees to it I don't attend any party and family function. She holds me responsible for my father's death. She ill treats me in front of everyone. I drowned myself in alcohal & cigerettes, last month I was diagnosed with pancreatitis means 24/7 pain in stomach. Her latest salvo : She repeats 'Die' atleast 100 times a day, she has literally locked me on 1st floor of home, I cook for myself buy my own vegetables, medicines etc. goto hospital for medical tests and to see doctor. Oflate she has asked me to vacate as soon as possible. I wonder what will happen when I run out of money. Yes, she has debarred me from property rights also. But, I'm hanging in, I still nurture dreams of a life without her, a nice companion .. never say die .. this too shall pass :):) .. yeah, don't feel sorry for yourself -- rather buy rat poison ;-) there's no market for sorrows & tears .. you gotta hang in and fight for your rights<br />

l rally understand you fully and l can never judge you for hating her she and your sister made your self estteem go down but that did not make you not live a normal life now that you understand every thing there is always a turning point into your life you can make them see that they are not the ones that define your future its God am very sure that God will make you the best in his own way.and your mum and sister will put into shame but dont hold any gradge towards them forgive them and let your life be your life it does not matter what they said in the past you are now living in the present.Dont drug the past into your present.Make sure your dreams come to past.May the good lord help you to forgive the and bring a new meaning into your life.God bless

Hi, my Mother is a bully too. She called me names (‘****’ was her favorite) and made fun of my shyness and anxiety as a teenager. I think deep down she realized that I’m shy because of all the criticism and that angered her even more. She always smiled at people and said everything is ok, but at home she was a totally different person. She would get mad at everything about me: the way I look, the way I am, the way I look at her. She would explode, start hitting me and then tell me it’s all my fault because I made her this way, and I had to go apologize to her, to make it ok (“Mommy, I’m sorry. I will not be a bad girl anymore”). My Dad was always on her side. And worst of all, she would make up elaborate stories of why there is conflict in the family - she would read Freud and say that’s because I want (?!?) my father and hate her. In every story/theory she created, I was the scapegoat. And now I’m 32 and she is still like this with me. She would accuse me of something bad and then hear me defend myself, and she calls this ‘communication’. I feel guilty for not loving her and I would like my daughter to have a grandmother, but all this is too much. <br />
Thank you for this blog, it’s good to see other people share their stuff.

my mom says thing like that too and when i do get upset she says things like well who is doing this to ou i know its not mebecause i do notihing wrong

I am so sorry to hear of your experience growing up with your mother. It's also quite a shame she used a psychologist's insightful work to fit her delusional ideologies! My mother too made up all kinds of elaborate stories to others talking about having a "wonderful" life at home. A lot of the guests she brings over, she has insulted me in front of one way or another and you know what? People DO see through that b/s and do start to realize how irrational and cruel that behavior is (not all people see through this of course but who needs their approval anyways?). The only person your mother truly makes a fool out of when she does that in the big scheme of things is HERSELF!

While I do not have any children of my own, I can empathize with the desire of having a better relationship with your mother. I also can understand your desire of your daughter having a relationship with her grandmother (and the general feeling of having a more united family); however, at the end of the day, I am sure that you are a loving mother. I am sure that if being (and bringing) your daughter around your grandmother is truly too much for you to bear, she will understand. I am sure that deep down, your daughter would rather have minimal contact with her grandmother and you keep your sanity rather than see her grandmother on a regular basis at your emotional expense.

I wish you the best of luck on your life's journey and I am sure you are a much kinder, better mother in big thanks to your experiences growing up.

Blessed be,

This is very common nowadays. Where there is one parent that that goes mad with either stress, grief or power and they do stupid things to make other people feel bad. I too had a mother who bullys me by saying verbal abuse like if I don't come to stay with her, also the fact that my parents were divorced and separated, I will never get the things I want or need like my piano teacher. She feels that she can control me and my brother and sister. I am so sorry to hear your story because after I found a documentery about why my mother and father divorced, Realising that she lied to me about everything she said to me, I Hated her of by heart and I don't ever want to speak to her or see her again. My step mother said that there are good people and bad people out there, and we should only hang out with the good people and leave the bad people alone. It's his/her life, and they have a choice. I feel thankful for my father when he said "I'd rather raise my kids alone" to my step mother after she asked whether things could get sorted out.

Dear Ooogler, although it was a long time ago since you wrote this, I feel compelled to respond to you. I too have a bully as a mother. She didnt want me from the beginning and much of the torment you explain is typical of a bullying mother. Isnt it wonderful though to be able to name what is going on. We are not the ones at fault. Your father and brother are too scared of backing you because she would definately turn her bullying on them. They are like my father.....cowardly. In fact they enable her to behave this way to you. Your sister, sadly will be the same to her children. I at least have a sister who loves me and supports me. I also have a brother who has experienced the same as an adult, and understands what she is capable of (he supported his wife and tried to stop my mother from interferring in their marriage....this is not good for our bully mother so she made up a horrific story whereby she was the victim......but this is not the case at all but no one suspected she would make it up) . My mother has no friends. She has bullied her family away, my father's family away, her immediate family away........this is because she bullies everyone now. Dad stands aside so he isnt in the firing line. I'm 48, my mother is 71, dad 73. My mother broke my leg and colar bone on two different occassions due to her rage, while I was an infant. I was sexually abused by my grandfather from the age of three till about 7 but my councelling time was spent talking about the abuse of my mother. The sexual abuse lasted a few years but mother's abuse is still going on. She too plays the "fair" game and pampers our youngest sister with money and gifts and wields her money around like a spiked club at our heads if we dare to oppose her.<br />
I am still abused by her, then she will "recover" and pick on someone else (I used to call it flavour of the month or day) and treat me "normally" then she would get into another episode and attack me again and so on and so on. She even bullied my youngest daughter when she looked her on a weeks holiday with her cousin (son of my youngest sister). I will not allow her to be in the same room with her alone at any time. My mother pretended it was my daughter who had the problem and my father lamely let it happen. All over again.<br />
I am not sure what to do myself but I think we have to congratulate ourselves for surving this abuse, we can be better mothers than our own, we can support each other and most of all, we have to distance ourselves from these mothers and let go of any expectations that they will change. My mother lives with guilt and is lonely. My father is still alive but has had many ailments. He is a big strong man (or was), very jolly and happy, used to his own very happy mother who was a teacher and was the only adult in my life who loved me unconditionally. I hope you surround yourself with people who do love you and support you and believe you. Support is what we need in our lives. People who see what is happening and not pulled into and whirlwind of lies and show our mother's spread to poison weaker personalities against us. Sounds melodramatic I know but they are very clever and the unwise are sucked into their games.<br />
good luck with your journey and remind yourself that you are a far greater person than your mother or sister and you deserve to be surrounded by people who love you and accept you.<br />
Andrea Brueck

Just do whatever you have to do to get away. These kind of people are not worth allowing in your life. My mother passed a year ago and I don't miss her. I even pretend that I don't speak the language we had in common, because anyone who speaks that language reminds me of her. Nobody has the right to treat a child like that. Just put them in the rear view and enjoy the present as much as you can.

Just do whatever you have to do to get away. These kind of people are not worth allowing in your life. My mother passed a year ago and I don't miss her. I even pretend that I don't speak the language we had in common, because anyone who speaks that language reminds me of her. Nobody has the right to treat a child like that. Just put them in the rear view and enjoy the present as much as you can.

Just do whatever you have to do to get away. These kind of people are not worth allowing in your life. My mother passed a year ago and I don't miss her. I even pretend that I don't speak the language we had in common, because anyone who speaks that language reminds me of her. Nobody has the right to treat a child like that. Just put them in the rear view and enjoy the present as much as you can.

My mom is like all the others posted here. She will find any reason to get mad and call me names. She drinks way too much. I have terrible anxiety and depression from growing up with her verbal and physical abuse. I am 23 and in therapy and on medication for all she put me through and still does. She will never be happy with anything i do.

My monster raised me to become an attorney to fill her wishes- along the way I was beaten with her fists and whatever she could grab- she sent me to German school where everyone spoke it (she spoke it) and never helped me and beat the **** out of me for failing- that went on for 3 years-I've been whipped with jump roaps, wooded shoes, the pipe from the vacuum- I can go on and on- she told me whenever I was nice I was faking it-My brother was perfect- I could write a book- havent seem her in 3 years- now I have to deal with bipolar and depression- I asked to see a dr at 10- she beat me for that- she just hates me- and now I her

I finally realize what to call it- bullying. My mother has torn me down my entire life and always will. "You're just like your father- no one really likes you- you are so fat". It hurts to think how different my life could have been if I hadn't believed her all these years.

wow that totally sucks. My own mother hates me too and its with a passion. I really have no idea what I ever did to her. The worst hing is that she taunts me and also engages other in taunting me. I remember getting into a fight with my elder sister when I was 13 which was because she had turned herself into my mother's agent to inflict emotional harm on me. She got a new neighbor to then proceed to ***** off my top exposing my chest and she then beat me. I cried all day. I was very upset and distraught. The woman kept yelling at me, telling my sister to slap me and she then proceeded to slap me also. Before then the woman was always embarrassing me and taunting me. That day was a huge spectacle with all the neighbors watching. I would never forget that day. She seemed very happy with it. Then the woman decided that she will start on my sister who was seen as the sweet angel and that's when my mother decided to shut her down by yelling at her. Not too long after, the woman decided to relocate. Her mission was complete and she was going beyond her boundaries. This is just a small sample of the wickedness she perpetrated. Only God can forgive her.

I have had the same problem with my own far back as I can remember she has invalidated me on everything I say , think, do, feel, how I look, my grades in school. Nothing I ever did was EVER good enough! She has lied to me about completely ridiculous stuff, just to make herself appear better. She has picked fights with me , and made sure no-one is around to hear her verbally abuse me. She has lied about me to my father...when I do something that makes her look bad in front of other when I was shy and did not talk much....she's made things up , to tell my father my father will be mad at me. She's told my dad that I thought presents they have given me were not good enough. She says I behave badly in front of her friends. She has numerous times as a little kid , called me a spoiled brat. She has bullied me ...trying to get me to change my personality , asking me "What's wrong with you?!! You know, You're just like your father have no friends and you just want to be by yourself in your room all the time!!! What's wrong with you????!!! People think you hate need to learn to get along with people!!! I'm embarrassed to be seen with you...people stare." ( I was really shy all through school and high-school) She would do this for hours on end, till my dad or bother came home. I would try not to cry in front of her and I would shake and my face would get all blotchy red & white. And she would say " You're having a nervous breakdown!" and she'd sing those words to me..."you're having a nervous breakdown, You're having a nervous breakdown, Ha , hah hah hah hah, HA!!!!" singing it inches from my face....I was only 13 yrs old. She would SCREAM at me for hours ,too. Again my feelings were always wrong and she could not deal with the fact that I am introverted quiet and creative type....She puts on a phony act in front of people when she's on the phone with me or in person...acts like everything is great between us. Then she tears into me when no -one is around......she must have really thought I would be identical to her , when she 1st had me. My mother is a tremendously phony .person....she's all silly and dinghy and laughing and front of her friends and people she meets for the 1st time. She waits on everyone with beverages and snacks. She gets all dressed up for other people. Everythings fine for about a year of friendship with her. THEN out of freaking no where....she has a HUGE blow-out screaming fight with her friend and never speaks to them again. Just cuts them out of her life and tells me all sorts of 'dirt' about them. I say 'dirt' because I now don't believe anything she says about all the people she has broken ties with. She lies alot. She feels the need to call everyone out on their faults and problems and try to figure out their blame in the problem. Ridiculous. She hates all people who smoke or are overweight. She has gotten really negative now that she's older...and she tells everyone exactly what she thinks is wrong with them.....She has insulted my brother and his much so that they don't ever want to see her again. I feel the same , I don't call her or communicate much at all. She's on Facebook ...but even there she's argumentive with people about politics. She's just an unhappy suicidal wreck. NO one can reach her. She will not open up to anyone. My dad is always drinking ...all day, all night. She's told me she thinks I have mental problems....geees how would she ever know the difference? lol She is pushing people away. I refuse to take care of her when she can no longer so it. I'll hire someone to do it. Anyone experiencing this should just stay away.

You just described my life. I don't know what made your mother to become that monster but in my case my mother was raised to be like this by my grandmother.
Everything you said it was like in my house, and even now that I don't live with her I still feel that it's my job to take care of her. I could never take care of her or live with her again but being raised and bullied the way I was I should ever care if she goes to a good nursing home.
She is always sending me sms asking for thing, she is always saying how misirable she is, always making me feel blame but if I need something she pushes me away. My mother language is not english so it's dificult for me to explain all.
But she has pushed me away from all my family and now I can rely on no one if I try to ask for her help because I need money( not given but borrowed because she never gives anything) she just doesn't speak to me.
And trust me, only when I'm actually close to starve I try asking for something.
There is so much I could say...I have a sister and she is idolized by my mother since my sister hates doesn't make any sense. I always tried my best and my mother always says..."you did only what you are suposed to, don't feel proud about it!"
She has always been fat and ugly but she always calls me fat when she is angry, loser etc
She always says "what's wrong with you? You have a problem go to a doctor"
I love my father but he is spineless and he is the brad winner I wish he had divorced her and taken us away from her.
Now I have anxiety problem and my worse fear is to become like her or to still be talking to her in the future I just want to get away from her for good

I was an only child but I can relate! Poor girl, I'm sorry you were born into such an terrible family. My family is just awful, I was even briefly jailed after my own father attacked me and almost broke my nose in high school. I ran away to my friend's house and was promptly arrested. There are a lot of bad memories like this. <br />
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I was expected to go all the housework like the poster above too. <br />
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Anyway, there are tons of us out there, young and old. It really helps me know that I'm not a freak. It's nice to be able to discuss this out in the open.

You can't choose your family but you can choose your friends.Yes we are suppose to love each other but that love also comes with respect which is a 2 way thing as your Mum and sister have shown you no respect or other members stood up for you then there is no respect from them to you so drop the guilt and think about the family and friends you have love and respect them and they will you .Yes the Old testement said honour your mother and father but Jesus said we should love our neighbour and that ment family.friends and strangers so please you can only love those who love you so lift this guilt off your head and love those who love you .