my mother has been such an impact on my life. When i was only 16 she begged me to have sex with a guy right in front of her so she claims we can eat. but i know that she wanted to just get high. At the time i was hungry and alone so i did it. I never forgot that day. Since then I have forgiven her and have her in my life. She given me up to foster homes and both times the men have molested me and she knew and never did anything about it. I am now 35 with my own kids and still in pain. She lives downstairs from me and only calls me when she needs something. I am always there for her. She is never there for me. I wish she would just realize what she has put me threw and try to be a better mother. She is sooo mean and full of hate. I've tried to let her go. When she is not in my life I am happy. When she is in my life I am so miserable. How can I just let her go. I don't want to love her anymore. I am an alcoholic from all this an addict. I am in treatment and doing so well, She is my main trigger and I know that! But Then why do I feel bad If i stay away???