Self-centered MomI live in the east coast. My mom lives on the west coast.
My father is currently ill and is in a medical nursing home in los angeles (he's been hospitalized for the past 18 months).
She calls me on my cell phone today multiple times today when I was asleep. I've been down with the flu, as well as having an iron rod fall down to my head last week during work, so I was so tired that i passed out when I came home.
Apparently she tried to call me 5 times, but I was asleep.
Then,she calls my husband's cell phone. He thought it was an emergency, so he shook me awake and handed me the phone.
When I answered, she yells "why are you picking up HIS phone and not Yours!?"
so i tell her I was asleep, what's the emergency about?
She ignores me, and yells at me again, how I wasn't picking up my cell phone, and how she just emailed me now and I wasn't replying to that as well.
I tell her again, that I've been sick, I was sleeping.
Then she flips out again, and saids that i've been ignoring her. When i explain to her again, she replies "fine. go back to sleep. But don't think you can see your dad again" and cuts the phone on me.
i've called her back. Nothing.
btw, i've gone back and forth from here to los angeles at least 5 times in the last 18 months, sometimes just for 3 days because she wants me to "run errands" and she'll disown me if I don't go and never let me see my father again. When I told her last time I couldn't go back (she wanted me to sign her house rental agreement since she didn't want to be responsible for the rent) on such short notice (1 week) since I had work, she told me to just quit work or that she'll come to the east coast for 1 day, make me sign her rental agreement, and then I would never see her or my dad again.
I have a family to support here as well. Every time my mom freaks out, I have to leave my husband/family to go take care of her duties. And when things don't go the way she wants/plans--its' my fault. Doctor's not good? My fault. Because I didn't search for a better doctor in the area. Bad nurse? My fault. Because i should complain to the head nurse how this nurse is bad (because s/he's not on my dad 24-7).
It's been like this since I was a kid. She's fat? my fault since she gave birth to me (she's a size 4 btw). She's been abusive since I was a child. I couldn't remember all my times tables at 1st grade (yes, First grade of elementary school) so I was stupid. She would make me stand in a corner of the house, and have me recite each row of the times tables. If I got it wrong--whack with a stick. If I couldn't finish that row? I was thrown out of the house to the back yard from 8pm to 12am. i had till the next day to rememorize that row, rinse and repeat if i didn't.
She would always say to me that I was stupider than all the other kids, so I had to work 10 times harder. When I got strait A's in school, she would say that it wasn't an "A+" (despite the fact that our school didn't give out A+'s). If it went down even a bit the next report card/semester (even from A to A-), i would get whacked with the stick again (usually hands or buttocks).
I would only be able to go out with children of her friends. All my friends from school were "bad because they aren't asian" or I wasn't worthy of being with them. When our high school went on a science field trip, she wanted the driver's license number and car license number of every person driving, their names and phone numbers. She's a control freak as well sadly
She would get mad at the stupidest things ("because I asked her a question") and unless she got her stuff done first, I wasn't allowed to even question the validity of it. it's do everything for her first, then the rest comes....
I don't ever recall hugging my mom, or getting a kiss from her. She calls me stupid more than my name.
I despise her, but at the same time she's my mom. I don't know if it's right to ignore her as well.
There's so much that I despise about her. Yet she's my mom too so I don't know if I should just ignore her.
Every time she starts her yelling on the phone, I feel like I want to hang myself. Every time this happens, my husband and I get into a fight as well. She keeps on telling me that I'm too stupid to have such a good husband.
It's sad that it's so ingrained in me all the negative stuff that she's been repeating to me for the past 30 years of my life.
kakyou 31-35, F 4 Responses 0 May 11, 2011