There Is No Feeling Like Being Free

There is no feeling like being free. I freed myself from her regime at 21 and have never looked back. I still cant believe I did it. I am here. Thinking my own thoughts. Learning to like what I see in the mirror. Building my confidence. Her once loud voice that echoed into my subconscious is now a barely audible  whisper. She wanted to contaminate every aspect of my life. She went to my boyfriend and told him he should leave me. She had personal conversations with him about how to destroy me. She didnt know I was right there listening to her every word. Well with that situation, she got what she wanted. He wasn't mature and when your own family does such things like that, then" why should I treat you with respect?" Right? His actions spoke those words clearly. She won that fight but she didn't win the battle. I am now with someone far better and mature. She told everyone I would never be anything in life and I would always lose. But I am not losing. after all this, I still reached out a hand for her. Surely something is wrong in her mind, she doesn't mean what she does, is what I told myself. She bit my hand each time. She likes to play the victim when she feels lonely. Ever since I was little she would always enslave me with guilt by saying she would die soon. Would if I i die? Life is so short, why wont you call me. I can die any day now. Would if you never talk to me again? I am going to die soon. All while I was little I would cry and was so depressed because she always made me feel like she would die. Its been 21 years, she is still alive.I thank God for this. But I also thank God for giving me strength and the ability to trust myself. She recently lost everything due to her own selfishness. She is reaching out again. But there are no vacancies in this heart. It is filled with people who love and support. They will never be able to completely take the place of what its like to have a real mom, but it is sure better than nothing.  I beleive that some people have bad spirits that can negativily affect ppl around them. Every guy she has been with, every friend she has had left her and its not hard to see why. I take pride in being free. not feeling guilty. No longer angry or bitter at her. Im happy and I truly have no desire to ever see her again. After all, it would be my fault if I continue to open my heart. Why let one person eat me up?  I have so much love to give to real ppl who love me. All I can do for her is pray and I do every night. Pray that oneday she wakes up and brings more meaning into her own life. I guess the moral of this story is life is too short- as she said.