It's Getting Worse!My mother and I have never been close although she would dissagree.
She has been that constant pain all my life and now I'm 41 and she is still making me feel terrible.
My parents divorced when I was 4 and although I saw my Dad regularly we never were close, but since he died I wished he was still here so I could tell him It wasn't his fault.
You see my mother spent all my life telling me how my farther was violent and only thought about himself but over the past few years I can see why he drank and why he wanted to "strangle her" Funny though how he never did lay a finger on her, just threatened it but stopped. That to says he was not a violent person just pushed to the limits by a woman who has to have everything her way and has no consideration of anyone elses feelings.
I spent my life with her saying "Ive given up everything for you".
Ive given up on how many men shes had over the years but none of them stayed around,just long enough for me to get to like them. Ive since realised that half of them were married and the other half probably saw her true colours.
She has few friends as everyone seems to "turn funny" on her.
When I was growing up she never told me she loved me or was proud of me. Never cuddled me. And still today she will go on and on about her nieces and nephews achievements but continues to put me down.I can't ever do anything right.
She moved abroad, the best thing she could have done for me until she keeps coming back and staying with me.
We always end up rowing and me never wanting to see her again.
She makes me feel uncomfortable in my own home. She does what she wants, won't eat the same meals, will buy lettuce rather than use the ones I've grown organically in the garden, she speaks to my son terribly, undermines what i say, wont listen to me, constantly tells me she needs to loose weight as shes too fat (shes smaller than me probably a size 6 as Im an 8 so that makes me feel hugh!)
Shes been here 10 weeks now, because she is apparently ill! (Theres always something wrong with her) so she has to have all these tests which take forever. She thought she had a brain tumor! ( last time it was cancer of the womb which was in fact a small polyp) the CT scan came back normal!
She will make things up in her head and play the victim, sulk for days and cause such an atmosphere in my home that I dont want to be home. So when she said she thought she'd still be here by Christmas I very nicely suggested that she maybe spend a bit more time at her sisters in that case to give us a break, she flipped and caused rows again.
I will drop my son at school in the morning and just sit in the car dreading going back to my own home.
I have 2 other children both have special needs one profoundly disabled the other has aspergers, so have enough to deal with. I love my children dearly and tell them everyday and show affection to them everyday, friend tell me i'm a brilliant mum, then one day when I was having a natural moan to my mother as she caught me at a bad moment, about the mess the kids make and the fact I spend all my time clearing up after them, The sort of moan that all parents make about there kids from time to time, she replies "Do you love your children ?cause it doesn't sound like it'
She says she wants us to talk and sort out our difference but she always denies anything negative I ever say that she has said or done. It's never her!
She phoned me from my aunts yesterday and again I'm left in tears and stressed out again.
I would really like her to go back to her own home and not come back.