Where to start when talking about my immature selfish mother...? How about how her husband (not my birthfather) molested me from the ages of 3-6 ending only when they got a divorce. And after I gathered to courage to finally tell her at the age f 11 in tears she couldnt even hug me. And to this day she still talks about him happily like he never touched me. I've been through years of therapy (At my own expense after I turned 18) but it still bothers me when she talks about him.

I know she has daddy issues because my grandpa was one of those strict, violent types with his family, but definitely mellowed out in his youth and my other was definitely not his favorite. She holds a grudge because I was, he was never mean to me a day in my life. But because of her daddy issues men always take prime focus in her life. I spent most holiday of my childhood left alone so she could spend it with what ever man she was dating at the time. But she'd always brag in front of family and friends how being a single mom is so hard but she did such a good job based on my grades and track record. I was pretty much self sufficient... She was not the most loving mother. I actually grew up thinking hugs were foreign things until i grew up and made friends and people like family who actually hugged me.

I've always been a little more clever than she, I could make better decisions at the age of 13 than she could and when I get to say 'I told you so' she start yelling. Oh yeah, she was also mentally and physically abusive when i was a younger child. It slowly got better when i learned to stand up for myself and yell back. She was one of those vindictive types who would literally destroy a favorite toy or article of clothing of mine is she got into one of her rages about how my room wasn't clean. In fact her main argument is that I'm never clean enough. I was a good kid, I'd try and clean the house when i got home from school or while she was away for the weekend (usually with a boyfriend) at around the age of 8 or 9 and she's come home, not notice and when I'd point it out she'd point out a spot i missed or how i didn't do something right.

If I ever pitched a fit about her spending time with her boyfriends, or her saying i was being a little brat because I wasn't nice to them, she would make me feel guilty because 'i want her to be alone and miserable' but it's not like she's ever dated a decent guy... Over the years I stopped disliking them and smiled when they came around, but I also stopped consoling her when they dumped her or used her. To be fair my mother isn't the skinniest or the prettiest and she has poor self esteem. But I keep telling her, if you dont put in any effort into your appearance, you get what you get. I literally have to listen to her when she talks or she gets upset, but she never pays attention when I talk.

Now at 24 years old, I wish my relationship with my mother has gotten better, but it's only getting worse because she seems to be getting more immature. I don't mind too much, i have two people in my life who are my surrogate parents. They love me just like their how children and the woman has been more of a mother too me in half the years my mother has been trying to be.

I'm bitter now though because my mother is seeing a guy with a very obnoxious 12 year old and my mother is wayyy nicer to this kid than she ever was to me simply because she's into the dad. And i;ll admit I've been immature with the kid and she literally said i was a mean person. I tried explaining how it was her who made me 'mean', but she just doesn't see it...

Wow, sorry this was so long, lots to get off my chest...
artemisP artemisP
22-25, F
3 Responses Apr 22, 2012

Wow, just wow. I mean you are the mean one? You cleaned the house, consoled her and was still a honor student? YOU ARE AMAZING! but your mom is not much of a mother. But always remember that everything always happens for a reason and good people will not be harmed. Just put your faith in God and hope for the best. As for your mom, I hope she burns in hell.

Thank you for the advice, I'm inclined its best to leave her alone as well.

Sorry but maybe its best to leave her alone. She will not change now she is to set in her stupid ways. I am sorry she puts gross men before you but I hope you understand she does it because you have so much more then she does. She must feel like she has nothing to put down a child is as low as it gets. My mother did the same to me as a child and I learned its because she resented all the hope and life I had/have. I don't talk to my mom and I am okay without our fights. I will never put myself down to be at her level, i hope you don't also.

are you a guidance counselor? cuz you have the makings of one

No I'm not but I hope I am a good mom. I just try to say what I think and remain honest.