Speaking Of Mother's Day... Worst Mother Ever

This weekend is mother's day and over the past two days my mother and I have managed to get into the biggest fight.

Out of the
random yesterday my mom yelled at me and screamed at me to clean up my stuff and started to call me selfish. My stuff wasn't everywhere as she exclaimed it was just in a different room other than mine because in my room I am battling an ant infestation and a broken bed. Both of which my mother couldn't care to help me fix. I started moving and cleaning up my stuff before she told me to, gathering everything that was mine and putting it in my room. That's when she started yelling and screaming at me for being selfish and disgusting person, while I was cleaning and explaining to her that I was cleaning. She told me that I'm lazy because she has to go to work (hmm four days a week) and work all day to play all her bills for "us". She says to support me. We live in a single family home in a wealthy area and she drives a BMW. Also, she can afford to buy whatever she wants like a new Juicy Couture bag. She says we have money problems. She says she does the majority of the work but I never see her clean a thing. Its not even really the cleaning that upsets me its the name calling and the blame she places on me. If she wants me to clean something she could ask me rather than expecting me to do something automatically without me knowing what I was supposed to have done.

Additionally, my prom is coming up and we were supposed to get all my stuff together in preparation this weekend. When we were seemingly on good terms she told me we would get contacts and pick up the shawl that I need. Let me mention I purchased my gown and shoes with my birthday and Christmas money, I also decided not to go with a group so we could save money on transportation and food since we have "financial issues". Today she is giving me attitude about it. Over the past week shes told me I have a receding hairline (BTW i'm seventeen, hair is just fine and full), that I have terrible skin, and that I am fat (I am 5'7" and weigh 135 lbs, my dress size is a 2). I usually feel good about myself and very pretty before she says anything to me. Yesterday we were at the store she let me buy a piece of chocolate cake but then hid it from me today, very passive aggressive attitude because she was mad at me for not cleaning.

Over the past two years I have learned that I suffer from an anxiety disorder and my mother was at first supportive to show my therapist and my school counselor that she was a good person but now she says that it isn't real and that I brought it upon myself. She says I'm lazy even though I got into all four of my nationally ranked and accredited colleges (2 of them are in the top 60). She says I brought this on myself even though for a while I was battling with suicidal thoughts related to my anxiety. She treats my condition like a joke. I try my hardest not to use my condition as an excuse and I find it embarassing.

I don't know what to do I can't live here with her anymore. Whenever we argue I get suicidal thoughts again and I have to walk myself through my treatment therapy. I can't take the way she makes me hate myself.

The worst thing is we had a pretty good weekend planned. We were going to see the Avengers and get dinner and then go to the zoo today. It just seems like she likes to ruin all the holidays. She told me we should just do for ourselves and stay out of each other's ways if that is so true how come I washed and put away the dishes that she used yesterday and fixed up her room and cleaned the shared bathroom by myself yesterday. Yet she couldn't make me dinner she only made enough for herself.

She likes to complain about me and share to much information with people she knows and tries to make me out as the worst person ever. She tells people I do nothing in school even thought I'm president of a club and I take all AP and honors classes. She blames me for not getting enough rest even though she interrupts me while I'm doing my work to tell me to clean or because shes bored and she wants to distract me so I end up doing work later and staying up later. She is so self-righteous that she believes she had some great signifigance in my childhood. I don't remember, I remember the bad. I remember when she locked me in my room when I was little because I woke her up with a nightmare I then had to scream so she could let me out to pee. I remember she hit me and threw me down when I was in six grade because a teacher told her I wasn't doing my work (even though I tried to explain to her that my teacher wasn't giving me or any of the other students in detention that day the work). When I told her about my suicidal thoughts she told me to go away with my problems and that I was stressing her out and that I better stop before she put me away in a mental institution. She told me she took me to the park and taught me how to read but I don't remember. I remember being bullied by kids and learning to read late being taught by her boyfriend. I remember when she told me I was fat and was persistent and when I went to my room and cry she told me that I was fat and that I was going to be fat when I got older if I didn't stop eating like I do. She came into my room to further pick on me. She didn't believe me when I told her I was sick and then it turned out I had lime disease. She tells me I have a terrible attitude she tells me that I have acne and thats why no one asks me out on dates.
I have always been tormented by her.
Happy freaking mother's day to a mother who is about to drive a child away by being one of the worst mothers ever.
MaJor15 MaJor15
18-21, F
1 Response May 12, 2012

hang on to those college acceptances--once you get away from home, you'll see how different life can be. <br />
<br />
Most people read the book by Thomas Mann titled, "you can't go home again," and think wistfully of the lost dreams of their youth. When I read the book, I found a different message: You can't go home again because LIFE GETS BETTER THAN THAT. You can't go home again because you would never want to.<br />
<br />
I certainly would never want to return home to my lying, delusional, narcissistic, dysfunctional, manipulative, nasty mother. I am glad she is dead.