Mother's Day

when you need to get a mother's day card and all you can think is, "These cards are lies." One said, "thanks for believing that i could do anything." Another, "you are the best mother ever. I hope you get everything you want this mother's day"
lahiga lahiga
18-21, F
4 Responses May 12, 2012

Same here....I use to just get the generic "Happy Mother's Day" with no other text. Nothing else ever seemed appropriate without crossing out half the card :)!

I know exactly what you were feeling and I have done the exact same thing. Not one card was fitting. I never saw one that simply said Thanks for giving birth. That's about all I feel I can honestly express honestly. It's sad having to have been brought up without a mothers love. I often wonder what kind of person i would've become had I had the love of a good mother, or father for that matter. I try not to spend much time thinking on things like this...It just hurts. Its something that can't and won't ever change.

Mom use to tell me that every day was mothers day. Because there was never a day that she was not my mother. She demanded love and respect. I never loved her. Only feared her. The only respect I have for her is knowing that shes a sick abused woman in denial of her own abusive childhood that she past right down onto me. I no longer talk to mom. I stopped talking to her last mothers day when she was mad that I mailed her a gift instead of showing up at her house with it. I hate mothers day. I hate every day because she messed me up mentally. I think about the abuse she did to me daily and why I'm in the funk of depression now in my life. She set me up to fail in life, because of the abuse I can't function without a flashback of the abuse. Every day I feel pain inside. I can't hold down a job and I struggle with loving myself. Thank you mom. Thank you for bringing me into the world and giving me the gift of mental illness. I hate you, have a nice life.

I had the same as you. Once I changed how I felt for my mother, my suffering was less. What I mean is, I stopped seeing her as my mom and as a poor soul. Who was abused and unable to cope with it. She lacked insight to the point that she abused me also out of fear. Doing this NEVER excused her actions but only helped me see her as a suffering human, changed my expectations of her and subsequently helped me with my pain. Forgiveness is a wonderful thing. Don't let her abuse live on in you, why give her that power. You deserve to move on with your life, with compassion, not anger.
I hope you can truly embrace that.
Take care.

I understand exactly! I struggled with that dilemma for years, when I was still waiting and hoping my mother would change. Not a problem now that i have no contact with her - Best decision of my life!